Shattered Mirrors

[Trigger warning: Mental health]

I can never escape, she will be with me even when I'm alone. After all, who wouldn’t hate the person who killed their sister? Sweet, sweet, Laina never did anything to her. She tells me it was an accident. It was not! I know why she did it. It was because every time she heard my sister’s footsteps it made her want to scream, a little miss perfect was coming down the hall to greet her with flowers.

The killer tells me over and over, again, again, she did not do it on purpose! How could you push someone off a cliff by accident? I know how everything little miss perfect did stabbed at her heart, she knew she could never match it, not even close. Did she do what she did because of jealousy? Maybe.

Maybe it was because every time she looked in the mirror all she saw was who she wasn't. Maybe she wanted to see what it was like to be seen.

Whatever the reason,it's wrong. That’s why she follows me, like she is trying to get me to convince her Laina isn't actually dead, that maybe she’s still playing a game of hide and seek, only to find that she will never be found. Isn't that the point of the game? To hide and not be found?

I remember the last time I played hide and seek with my sister. It was one of those things I took for granted. Laina was hiding under the desk, everything but one toe hidden. I would have never been able to find her if it wasn’t for the mirror. We had a mirror in our old bedroom. We used to do each other's hair, she would always do mine better than I did hers, being little miss perfect. The mirror had let me find her then, maybe it could now.

We walk back home from the dirty park we were standing in, ‘we’ being the killer and I. I feel her presence, always watching, never leaving.

The inside of the house is just as I remember it, from, of course, only three nights ago since I had last seen it. Three nights ago, three nights of pain and peace. We come to our old bedroom, with one mirror watching from the far wall. My eyes go towards it, but then they flash back. The killer loathes the mirror, she tells me it reminds her too much of someone she hates. We look towards Laina’s bed, empty except for one lonely stuffed cat. It lay on the left side of her pillow, lifeless, creating a black hole in the white sheets; it stands out like blood on grass. I pick it up, and I remember something about little miss perfect. The black cat keeps me in its grip, not letting me run away. It tells me something, though I can't hear exactly what.

“Why did you do that to me?” I barely make out the words. The killer tries to drown them like she had before.

“I thought you would always protect me.” No, no, no!

Go away! The killer says in my mind.

I clutch on to the cat tighter after hearing these words, and look with all my might towards the mirror. It is no use, the killer drags us away, and I walk out the door. I need to get rid of this monster!

I run as fast as I can to the old carnival, carrying the black cat. We come to the House of Mirrors. Laina’s favorite. The killer screams at me more and more the more we see the mirrors. The more I see the things that are missing the more I hope to find them. The killer screams. No, no, no, no! Not this ever again! I smile.

We see our reflection get doubled and doubled going on into the endless nothing. Maybe she would leave after seeing these terrible sights. Maybe I can stop running.

No. The killer runs into all the reflections she can, determined to kill every last one. People run out screaming. Mirrors fall to the ground and shatter into thousands of pieces. They fly into my face, leaving red stains, but the killer is too busy for me to care.

As more mirrors break, more memories come back to me, memories of Laina. The more memories come back the worse the killer gets. I remember a time when there was no hate, there was no killer. Lania and I were happy together, there was love. My grip on the stuffed cat lets loose.

Lights start flashing on and off. Me and Laina were overlooking the beach on one of the high cliffs, together.

The light flashes off.

The killer found me. She told me her plan, it was so… perfect. There wasn’t anyone around, just me and Laina. The waves down below seemed to agree as well.

The light flashes back on, more mirrors shatter.

Before I knew what was happening, the killer just pushed.

Lights off.

I saw her falling down, black hair reaching up. Her screech of terror plays within my head. She was calling out to me to help her, to save her, but it was too late. Mostly I see her face, the face of betrayal.

Lights off.

I see darkness, it's only me. Laina… is…dead? The thought poisons my mind. Being released I fall to the ground like the old stuffed cat. Shattered mirrors cut my hands and face, but the pain is overpowered by the black hole inside. I can't find her, there isn't even a toe to be seen. Laina is dead. And I killed her.

My mind is racing. My sister is dead, impossible. Nothing like this could have happened to me, let alone it be my fault. But I now know the killer’s fantasies have to end, I’m not dreaming, this is a nightmare I have to face.

I see shattered mirrors. I see the killer. I see me. It’s time to stop running.