“I Want You Happy (Even If It’s Not With Me)”

Love is a curse, and longing, its potent poison. This is a story about two highschool boys who loved deeply, each yearning for someone who didn't reciprocate their affection.

Noel, a shy, kind-hearted high school student, harbored a silent crush on a boy named Issac. He was far too timid to ever confess, his feelings living only on the pages of his diary. Every entry overflowed with pure admiration for Issac, not a single detail about his appearance, only a deep appreciation for who he was. It started as a simple attraction, of course – Issac was tall, six-foot-three, handsome, brilliant in academics, and a star in sports, respected by everyone. Noel, despite being good in studies and other things himself, often felt overlooked because of his quiet nature.

One afternoon, Noel was navigating the crowded school hallway, a large bundle of textbooks clutched precariously in his arms. He stumbled, losing his footing, and bracing himself for the inevitable fall. But before he hit the ground, a strong hand steadied him, catching his arm.

"Whoa, careful there," a deep, kind voice said. It was Issac. He had quickly reached out, preventing Noel from toppling over. Their eyes met for a fleeting second, the first direct connection Noel had ever had with him. Issac's grip was firm, reassuring. "Need a hand with those?"

Noel, flustered and blushing, could only nod mutely as Issac effortlessly took half the stack. They walked a short distance together, making casual small talk about class and the heavy books. It was a brief exchange, but for Noel, it was monumental. Issac's simple kindness moved him deeply, confirming every good thing he'd ever thought. After that, they occasionally exchanged polite greetings or a few words in the hallway, but it never blossomed into friendship. Making friends was hard for Noel; the only reason he had Karl was because Karl had been the one to extend his hand first.

One sunny day, Noel was eating lunch in the schoolyard, his diary resting beside him on the bench. Suddenly, a figure dashed up from behind, startling him. It was Karl, Noel's only real friend in the entire school. Karl, who found Noel's shyness, his cute overreactions, endlessly amusing, loved to playfully mess with him.

Karl spotted the diary and snatched it. Noel, mortified, yelled at him, but Karl just held it out of reach, teasing him until Noel was on the verge of tears. "Hey, hey, take it!" Karl laughed, handing it back. "I'm just messing with you." Karl was popular, known for his charming smile and approachable demeanor – even with a hint of stubble, he was widely considered a "pretty boy." The only time Noel ever got much attention was when Karl was with him.

Days passed, then months, and Noel continued to write in his diary daily, his one-sided longing for Issac growing with each word. "Hopeless romantic, na na nah na!" Karl sang, teasing Noel mercilessly during a game. "Who's a hopeless romantic? I'm just watching the game!" Noel retorted quickly, though his face betrayed his words.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Karl said, settling beside Noel and slinging an arm around his neck. "Should I help you?"

"Help with what?" Noel asked, confused.

"What do you mean, 'what'?! Of course, helping you confess to him!" Karl blurted out.

"Shh! Shh!" Noel clamped a hand over Karl's mouth with lightning speed. "What are you blabbering about, you idiot? What if someone hears?"

Karl playfully licked Noel's hand, making Noel recoil instantly. "Ugh! What are you doing, you crazy!"

"Pff, you're so fun to tease," Karl grinned.

The atmosphere calmed, silence settling between them. They watched the game for another hour before gathering their bags and leaving. As they walked, Karl asked, "Would you never confess?"

The sudden question stopped Noel cold. Deep down, it stung. It had been two years since he'd liked Issac, and even after that brief, wonderful encounter, the fear of rejection had always held him back. He knew his feelings were hopelessly one-sided. Karl's blunt question cracked something open in his heart. He clenched his jaw, biting his lip until it hurt.

Karl slapped his mouth lightly. "Enough. That's a really bad habit, biting your lip to death whenever you're anxious."

"I don't know what to do," Noel mumbled. "I want to talk to him, become friends, but I know if I become friends, I'll definitely want more. And what if I mess things up? Isn't it better to watch him from afar then to get him just to lose him?"

"Ugh, you're such a negative idiot!" Karl exclaimed. "And what if I confess and he doesn't like boys? That would hurt even more..."

"Noel," Karl said firmly, "how would you know without trying? Tell me, what if he does like boys? What if someone else confesses and he says yes? Then what could you do? Wouldn't you regret it?"

Noel's heart tightened, and a small, puppy-like sniffle escaped him. He wanted to cry. "I hate it," he whispered, his voice trembling, referring to the inescapable longing he felt.

Seeing Noel's distress, Karl's heart skipped a beat. A new, unsettling warmth spread through him. It looked like he was falling for him. "Let me help you," Karl offered gently. "Can you write?"

"Huh? Do you want me to write your homework?" Noel asked, confused.

"That's a great idea!" Karl said, playfully bopping Noel on the head. "Idiot! Write your feelings on paper, and I'll hand it to Issac!"

"Noooooo way!"

Karl sighed, then turned and ran away. Noel was a true coward, burdened by his unspoken desires.

The next day, the moment Noel's eyes met Karl's, he dashed off. He was ignoring him, Karl knew Noel too well. But Karl wasn't one to give up. Eventually, he caught him.

"Are you done now?" Karl asked, his tone unusually serious.

Noel's face fell like a puppy's, but then, with a huge grin, he mumbled an apology to Karl.

Thump-thump, thump-thump. It wasn't Noel's heart pounding; it was Karl's. His face flushed a deep cherry red, and he quickly released Noel's collar. Noel stared at him, genuinely concerned. "Why's your face so red? Are you sick?" He reached out, pressing one hand to Karl's forehead, then his own. Karl felt even warmer. Noel's worry deepened.

Karl grabbed Noel's wrist, pulling his hand away. Why the hell is my heart beating like this? Why? It's the same as last time. Karl stared at Noel for a long moment, then turned and ran away, blushing fiercely. The only thing he could think of was Noel's wide, innocent grin. It seemed he was falling for him, his own unrequited love for Noel beginning to take root.

Days later, things went back to their usual rhythm, but something had changed. The way Karl saw Noel was different. Before, he'd tease him at every chance. Now, he did small things he never used to: wiping Noel's mouth after he ate, sharing his food, waiting for him after school. Karl's one-sided affection for Noel grew stronger with each passing day.

Karl and Noel had met in their first year. When no one else would talk to Noel, Karl had been the first to extend a hand of friendship. They became close. Karl knew Noel had a crush on Issac, but he'd never made it obvious. Until one day, Noel left his diary on a bench during lunchtime. Karl, out of mischievous curiosity, opened it, expecting to find just random doodles. That was the moment he learned about Noel's deep admiration for Issac.

He often saw Noel watching Issac, smiling kindly, a smile that held no grand expectations, only the wistful hope of unfulfilled longing. But as time flew by, Noel's smile when he looked at Issac began to hold a deep grief. Karl noticed. It pained him to see Noel like that. Noel was one of the few people who didn't treat Karl like a money bag; Noel had been genuinely happy when Karl first spoke to him, grateful to have him as a friend.

But things were getting complicated. Karl realized that he didn't just want to help Noel because he felt sorry for him, or because he didn't want Noel to be depressed. He didn't want him to be depressed because he was in love with him. Karl, far braver than Noel, faced his feelings head-on, even knowing they were destined to be unreturned.

The next day was the farewell ceremony. Karl planned to confess to Noel. He'd even bought lilies for him, feeling they perfectly represented Noel. But everything changed the moment Karl overheard Noel's trembling voice from around the corner, reaching Issac.

Noel stood before Issac, heart hammering, the words Karl had encouraged him to say finally spilling out, raw and vulnerable. "Issac," Noel began, his voice barely a whisper but clear in the quiet hallway, "I... I really like you. More than just a friend."

Karl, hidden from view, heard only those words. The arrow shot through his heart. He was heartbroken. He knew Noel liked Issac, so it was obvious his own feelings wouldn't be returned. Yet, it hurt so deeply. He loved Noel so much, even without fully realizing it himself until recently. But he didn't hide from his feelings; he had bravely taken steps forward, only to find his own love was also a poignant, one-sided ache.

"I guess my advice worked," he said, forcing a smile, clenching his heart, and fighting back tears

, his own longing now mirroring Noel's.

"No one was there to witness his hollow smile,

except for the lilies —

softly wilting in his hands,

as if they alone understood what he couldn’t say."