The Question of Survival

"You should never have done it!"

"And what should I have done? He was in danger."

"He's a stranger. You don't know anything about him."

"I'm not like you. I can't be cruel for no good reason."

"I'm not being cruel, I'm being practical."

Matilda glared at her older sister. She and Eleri had never gotten along. Things had only gotten harder after their mother had died and their father had run away. People wondered what had happened to their father. Matilda and Eleri had never corrected them. Rumors were most interesting than the truth.

"And where do you expect him to live?" Eleri continued. "He can't live in the pig sty or the barn. What is Widow Maud going to think?"

Widow Maud hadn't liked the way Father left them and she'd turned her anger on Eleri when Matilda had taken to hunting in the forest. Father had often supplemented the meager supplies they'd been able to get from town with hunting. It was almost like Father had planned it as soon as Mother got sick Father had started taking Matilda into the forest.

"She is going to yell at me from her gate the same way she always does," Matilda, declared, taking her bow from the hook by the door.

Eleri grabbed her arm and Matilda looked over, startled. "Be careful. Rumors have started circulating again."

"There have been rumors for years. No one's lived in the forest since Serreth died."

"And if he were still alive, I wouldn't let you go. You know the man was dangerous."

Matilda held still. She knew if she tried to move Eleri would only grab her again, force her to obey.

"I'll be all right."

Eleri didn't lose her wary look.

"Fine." Eleri threw up her hands. "But you figure out something to do with the boy. I can't look after him and the shop."

"His name is Tristan."

"His name isn't going to matter if we end up with our heads on pikes."

***

"Tristan! Tristan!" Matilda called, walking toward the barn.

Tristan looked up from where he was throwing feed to the pigs. "Sorry," he said. "I found the feed in the barn. I didn't think you'd mind."

Matilda rolled the sleeves of her ragged blue dress past the elbows and leaned on the fence.

"You're saving me a job," said Matilda. She stood straight again and started walking. "If you're done I can show you where we keep the feed for the horses."

Matilda led Tristan to the barn and opened the door. A horse whinnied and Matilda went to the stall. She rubbed the horse's nose. "We mostly use these two for farm work, but Father taught Eleri and me to ride when we were young."

Tristan reached out a hand and rubbed the horse's neck. "My uncle was the one who taught me to ride. My father didn't stay with my mother long enough teach me anything."

There wasn't any of the bitterness that was present when she or Eleri talked about their father, but she supposed abandonment was easier to accept when you had never known the man. Their father had been kind and conscientious, giving Matilda and Eleri everything he could.

"Here," said Matilda. She walked to where the feed was stored. "We keep all the feed except the stuff for the pigs here." Matilda scooped the feed into a dish and handed it to Tristan. "Go on."

Tristan poured the feed out for the horse. "I suppose you want to know what I'm doing here," he said, handing Matilda the empty sack.

Matilda shrugged. "I don't care. Eleri and Widow Maud are the nosy ones around here."

"Widow Maud... the crotchety old woman next door?" Matilda nodded. "She chased me away, telling me to never come back."

"You get used to her," said Matilda. She paused. "If you stay around long enough, this is."

Tristan didn't reply. He leaned against the wall of the barn and rested a hand on the horse's back.

He's not going to move for awhile yet, thought Matilda. She got more feed and fed the other horse.

"The fight you and your were having..." said Tristan. "It was about me, right?"

Matilda sighed. "Yes and no. It started out that way, but I'm the one who would get in trouble for felling Master's deer."

"So you're a hunter."

"In a way. I can't get much without attracting attention and the last thing I need is to prove to Eleri and Widow Maud that they were right."

Tristan nodded. "So you don't sell it in town. And you don't proclaim yourself as one."

"Exactly." Matilda paused. "I need to restock our food store. You could come with."

Tristan shook his head. "I'm useless in the forest, I'd scare all the birds away. Give me a sword, give me a nobel, that's where my talent lies."

"Well, don't kill anyone here."

***

Matilda knew Eleri was going to bring the house down on her when it was discovered that Tristan had spent the morning in their house alone. It wasn't her fault she had found the worst hunter in England, but she also didn't believe Tristan when he said he'd scare all the birds away.

She collected the squirrels and rabbits she had killed and walked deeper into the forest. She planned to visit Serreth today. She often gave him something of her catches. It was why she was grateful that Tristan wasn't with her. Serreth wasn't good with people. She was the only person he saw.

"Serreth. Serreth," she called.

She had learned to warn him when she was coming. The second time she had found him, he had nearly killed her.

There was a crackle in the trees ahead. The sound of someone moving through them.

"Serreth?" Matilda called. The figure came out from behind the tree. "Father?"

For months all she and Eleri had heard were rumors, and yet here was their father, standing before her in the forest that was so close their house she had thought she could touch it from her bed as a child.

"Tilda, what are you doing here?"

"You were the one who taught me how to kill an animal. Did you think I wouldn't find reason to use the skills you taught me?"

"You're in danger, Tilda," he said. "The boy you found this morning, he's a danger."

"His name is Tristan."

"I'm not Eleri, Matilda. I'm not an enemy. You needed to be warned."

"So you come out for warnings, but not when we screamed ourselves to sleep at night?"

"I know. I've been watching, listening."

"You left two girls on their own. Of course they were going to suffer. Did you know Eleri has taken to being an herbalist? I live in fear she's going to be arrested and killed as a witch. She lives in fear that I'm going to be caught poaching."

The rage was flowing now. She could feel it burning through her veins. She felt like she could fight her way through France to the walls of the palace of the French King with the anger inside her.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Is that all you have to say for yourself?" Matilda clenched her fist to stop herself from striking out. She had spent her life with Eleri warning her of consequences of a singular action.

"Get rid of Tristan, Matilda. He'll do nothing for you."

He disappeared into the forest.

Matilda didn't know what to do. Should she track down Serreth? Should she go back home? She raked her fingers through her hair and racked her brain. Her father's warning echoed in her mind.

Get rid of Tristan, Matilda. He'll do nothing for you.

It had been years since she had listened to a word of what her family had said. She had convinced Eleri to help when their mother had been sick, despite Eleri's grief. She had tried to change their father's mind. She had taken up hunting after he left. Each time there had been a consequence.

Matilda ran through the forest back down the slope. She thought she might've heard Serreth's voice calling to her. She would come back tomorrow with a juicy rabbit to be roasted on his spit and shared with the ale Eleri had worked to perfect for years.

Tristan was looking into the pig sty when Matilda came around to the barn.

"I wasn't expecting you," he said, looking up.

Matilda aimed an arrow at his chest. "Is your name even Tristan? Were you trying to get something from us? I would have thought you'd have seen we have nothing and leave us alone."

"You're the one who welcomed me in."

Matilda fired the arrow, missing by half an inch. Tristan scoffed. Matilda aimed another arrow. He couldn't know she had missed on purpose. Her father was right.

"Who are you?" asked Matilda.

"My name is Tristan."

"Do you expect me to believe you?"

"I'm not going to change your mind, so why should I waste my time trying to convince you?"

"Tilda!" Eleri came running from the street. "Tilda..." Eleri was out of breath, like she had run from the town center. "At the market... They're saying one of the King's assassins..."

She trailed off, seeing Tristan. Matilda fired two arrows in quick succession. One striking him in the left shoulder, the other pinning the fabric of his shirt to the barn by the right side of his torso.

Matilda looked over at Eleri and saw Widow Maud. "Use your mouth for something useful and get the mayor. I think I've found the King's assassin."

Widow Maud looked at Matilda open-mouthed for a moment, then walked hastily up the street. It was the fastest Matilda had ever seen Widow Maud move. Matilda trained an arrow at Tristan.

***

"I'm sorry, Eleri," said Matilda. "I should have believed you."

It was late at night. Tristan had been taken away. He was going to be sent to the high court in London. For now, he was languishing in the dungeon of York Castle. Matilda was sitting wrapped in a blanket, staring into the fire.

"What made you change your mind?" Eleri turned away from tending the flames. "How did you figure it out?"

"It doesn't matter."

There would be time enough, when she had recovered to tell Eleri the truth.

Eleri stayed silent for a moment.

"It was Serreth, wasn't it?" Eleri asked. "I never thought I'd be grateful to him."

"I was thinking of visiting him tomorrow."

"Maybe I'll go with you. Maybe it's time I went back to the forest."