Remains of our friendship

It had been 1 year since we saw each other, much less talked to each other. But I never thought this was the end of our friendship. And today, after losing one precious gem, I got him back. Although the pain this whole incident has caused me, would take a lot of time to heal, but for now, I am glad for the hug that I needed the most.

Let me tell you our story from the beginning. Liam and I were childhood friends. We grew up in the same neighborhood and went to the same school. It was the final year of our high school and we were all busy makes resumes for our dream college. 

But something happened, and it shouldn't have. But there are always tests to be given in friendship and Liam failed this one. We wanted to become authors. I still remember, when we were 8 years old, we wrote our first poem together and we were so happy about how great it turned out to be that we decided once, we are all grown up, we will write our first novel together. 

The University of Iowa was our dream university and we decided to apply for it together. For which, we were supposed to write an essay on why we wanted admissions in that university or why it was our dream college. Of course, we couldn't write the essay together although our reasons were the same. On the day of submission, Liam was late, and instead of submitting my essay, I ran to his home. Liam was locked up in his room, refusing to come out. His parents asked me to get him to open the door.

"Liam, you better get down or I will kill you", I started shouting on my way upstairs.

"What's wrong with you? Open the door "-I kept saying and banging on his door.

Finally, upon my thousand requests, he opened the door. He was red-eyed after crying. I could clearly see it. 

"Liam, whatever it is, it can't be more important than the submission. Or is it ?"-I asked as we were getting late. 

"You go and submit your essay. I will submit mine later.- He replied and tried shutting the door but I didn't let him. 

"I am not going anywhere until you spill out what's going on"-I exclaimed. 

"It is the essay, I don't think it is good enough."-He said disappointedly. 

He took out his essay paper and handed it over to me.  

I loved it, not only because he wrote it but because it truly was. While reading it, I thought it was just another version of my own essay. 

"Liam, it is more than perfect and I am going to submit it, whether you come with me or not. " - I started running for school without taking Liam with me.                            

 I would submit his essay and then he would come after for sure, I thought. He always did. 

He came from behind, smiling like an idiot and said, "I trust you, Elle, if you think it's good, then it is. I trust you more than anything"-He shouted, panting. 

"Me too, now come fast, we are already late for it. "- I replied back with joy

We ran off to school and as soon as we reached room no. 121, where the essays were being submitted, Mr. Johnson came out of the room and said- Just the students I was waiting for. 

I went to the room first and Mr. Johnson was more than happy to accept my essay, saying this is essay is what it takes to be a student at Iowa. When Liam was inside the room, I was just as excited to hear the same things for him. But when he came out of the room, just the opposite happened. He was disappointed and when I tried to ask him, he ran away in fury. But I wouldn't leave him alone so I started running after him. 

"What's wrong ? what did he say ?"- I asked, knowing somewhere in my mind what he would have said. 

"I trusted you, Elle, I shouldn't have"

Both of us just stood there on the road, waiting for something. Liam then spoke and I listened- "You just said my essay was good so that your essay could get selected. You knew mine wasn't that good. You are so selfish". - He claimed as if he didn't know me at all. I didn't say a word after this and ran to home where another horrible news was waiting for me. Dad had a heart attack and I was devastated for a few weeks. The feeling of losing two important people in your life on the same day couldn't be explained. That one day exhausted for a lifetime. Liam visited the hospital but we talked formally, forgetting that we are best friends. Liam wasn't ready to apologize and I wasn't ready to forgive for the things he said that day. But he still kept coming around because he knew even if we don't talk, his presence was enough to keep me calm. 

Mr. Johnson called in and asked me to mail other important requirements to the university along with a few of my written pieces. I didn't have the energy to do so or write new pieces and I didn't dare ask Liam after what had happened on the same issue. But Liam himself asked me about the same, and I was thankful, at least at that time. 

After we were done with our final exams, everybody had started getting their acceptance letters. I also got acceptance from my backup colleges. But these weren't the ones I was waiting for. A week later, Liam got his acceptance letter and I got my rejection letter from the same university, Iowa. I was devastated. Not because Liam got in but because I couldn't. 

I bid him goodbye and wished him the best, I decided to go for one of my backup colleges. After all, there was no other option left. But Dad wasn't doing well, and I was not ready to leave him alone so I got into one of the public universities in town. 

A few months later, just when I had started accepting life as it was, Liam came back to my doorsteps. There were no casual or friendly hellos or I missed you between us. He came in and said we need to talk. 

"Elle just don't say a word while I am speaking and say whatever you want later, okay ?"-He said urgently.

"Okay"- I nodded.

"Elle, I did something terrible and now I can't move on from my mistake. I have to confess it or I will die"-He sobbed it off.

"Liam, what is it. You know I am always there for you. Even though we don't talk much now."

"Elle, I exchanged our written pieces and put my name under yours that is why I got it and you didn't"- He said in the blink of an eye. 

I stood there, staring at him, and without even noticing it, my tears started dropping. This is the incident I was talking about at the beginning of the story. 

"Now I know, how much it hurts when someone you trust the most in the world, betrays you like this."-I said, trying not to cry in front of him.

Liam tried to wipe them away but I asked him to leave immediately. I was having a Déjà vu. As if the same day when Liam accused me and dad had a heart attack was repeating itself. 

And the same happened, but with much higher intensity, I had lost, Liam and Dad, both forever. 

When I ran downstairs to look for dad, he was on his chair, but lifeless. 

It is his funeral and the person I need to hug right now is in his grave. Where am I to go? Where am I to go?

Liam came to dad's funeral, knowing that he is the last person on earth I want to see now. I don't say a word. After the funeral ceremony is over, I started walking home alone. Liam starts walking beside me but I don't have the energy to say anything to him. I hate to feel it but even with so many differences between us, his presence is still calming me.

When we reached home, Liam and I stood there for a minute, and then he started speaking.

"Elle, I know what I did was terrible. But I realized my mistake and I have given up my spot for you. I can't live, knowing that I wronged my best friend like that. I am sorry for what I did. But I want to make it up to you. I know this may not be the best time to say all this. But I just want you to know that when I am there for you, I am, completely without any secrets and lies."

I was glad that he had realized his mistake but I was so tired that I didn't have the energy to speak. So I started walking away from him. 

But then I turned in an instant and said-"You don't need to give up your spot, I want to continue here. I am not ready to leave this town And you have given me enough memories to write about. I don't need to do a course for that. Goodbye. 

"You know what Mr. Johnson had said to me that day? He said that my writing is just a shadow of yours. And that whatever I write, It will never be enough, if I write alone. Because my writings are always a part of your writings. I was so furious at that time but now that I think about it, I think he was right. My writings are just like me, even I can't survive without you Elle"

And then he hugged me and we cried in each other's arms for what felt like forever. This was the hug that I needed the most. This was the hug that reminded me of a quote from Ally Condie-"Growing apart doesn't change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I'm glad for that."