It Wasn't Meant To Be

The key fit snugly in the keyhole. Sean twisted the knob and opened the door. Holding Sierra's hand with his left hand he entered the house that he hoped would soon transform into their home. He had opted for a self-guided tour of the apartment hoping against hope that Sierra would like it and give her nod. It was a one-bedroom apartment surrounded by a canopy of trees. They entered the living room and freeing herself of his grasp, Sierra walked to the kitchen. She opened every cabinet making a mental note of the space available and trying to design a kitchen in the canvas of her mind. Sean's phone rang and he was engaged in a conversation with a colleague turned friend. She made her way to the room and caught a glimpse of the cabinet. She wondered if she could arrange all her outfits in the small-sized closet. But she didn't have much of a choice. From being a do-it-all woman to a do-nothing one her life had undergone a one eighty degree change. The carpeted floor emanated warmth that rushed through her veins making her feel cozy. She stood shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She slowly walked to the living room and noticed that Sean was still busy. He waved at her and smiled reassuringly. He did three jobs to make ends meet. She admired his composed, precise and balanced mind. Despite a million things going on in their lives at the moment, his mind was focused on the task in hand. He drew clear boundaries that separated his work life from his personal life and efficiently managed both fronts. 

On the other hand, she mixed work and home, her emotions and occasional pragmatism, landed herself in a soup and her actions had cost her job. She slowly made her way to the patio. The door opened with a creaking sound that pierced through her eardrums. A chair was placed in the corner of the patio. She wondered if it belonged to the previous occupants. Dragging the chair to the center, she sat on it. She basked in the warmth of the afternoon sun. She unzipped her bag and a newspaper fell with a little rustle. The surroundings provided plenty of quietude making even the sound made by the drop of a needle clearly audible. Through the door left ajar, Sean observed her intently. Despite having myriad things to do, thoughts about her lingered in his mind all the time. He peered through the blazing sunlight and noticed that her gaze was fixed on a bird with orange wings that perched on the patio. The bird was accompanied by two little birds. The sight worried Sean. He felt like he was overpowered by skepticism. His mind was shrouded with negative thoughts. He fervently wished that the sight of the mother bird and baby birds must not trigger Sierra's dreadful memories from the past. An unfortunate incident had robbed them of their happiness, taking a toll on her well-being. He wished that she didn't have another episode.

He darted towards the patio when his phone rang again. The screen displayed his boss's number. His boss phoned him only if he had to deal with an urgent matter. With his eyes fixed on Sierra he answered the phone. A few minutes later, he entered the patio and wrapped his arms around her neck. A tinge of red colored mark on her arm caught his attention. He bent sideways to get a better view of her arm. "Oh, it's nothing. I scratched a mosquito bite so fiercely that it started bleeding," she said enveloping her hand around his. He nodded absentmindedly with his eyes still on the wound. She was once systematic, neat and a hygiene freak. But the trauma had transformed her into a sloppy person. He caught a glimpse of her nails. They haven't been manicured in ages. He hoped that the new apartment would bring with it a gush of freshness and aid in the healing of the wound seated deep within her heart. The wound that had ripped her off her very existence. Her lips moved in a rhythmic pattern. Was she having one of those episodes? Ignoring the thought, he landed a soft peck on her cheeks in an attempt to divert her attention towards him. She turned and kissed him back. His hands enveloped her waist and he held onto it like a post in a tornado. His lips inched towards hers and he could feel her heart beat. His fingers danced on the nape of her neck and shoved her hair away. He grasped her firmly and kissed her on the nape of her long and slender neck. She moaned and wrapped herself around him. His hands took a tour of her luscious body and he finally got a taste of her full, curvy lips. His tongue toured her mouth and the romantic moments felt like ambrosia after a dry spell. 

She ripped his shirt open and his phone rang again. He clicked his tongue, kissed her on her forehead and excused himself. "Be safe. I'll be back," he said and walked away. 

"I'm not alone. She is there by my side," she said in an inaudible tone. He was in a hurry and didn't concentrate on what she just spoke. After staring at him without batting an eyelid for a few seconds, she diverted her attention to her. 

"Hello Elizabeth, it feels great meeting you after a long time. Where have you been?" she asked.

"Oh, I was occupied with some family affairs," spoke Elizabeth. "I thought that today was a good day to take a tour of the vast azure sky," she continued. The prospect of flying high interested Sierra. "I wish I could join," she said.

"Your wish is my command. I'll help you," said Elizabeth.

Sierra's lips curved upwards and she brimmed with happiness, as she jumped up and down like a ping pong ball. Elizabeth waved her hand like a magic wand and lo and behold, a pair of wings developed from Sierra's shoulder blades. She ran her hand over the wings and felt its softness. "Come on Sierra, it's time for you to take a flight. Leave all your sorrow behind and fly high. The clouds await your arrival. Sit back on the fluffy clouds and watch your anxiety dissipate. Don't let the fury of the sun deter you," said Elizabeth and extended her hand towards Sierra.

Sierra looked straight into Elizabeth's eyes and then glanced at Sean. Her eyes twinkled with joy. Sean noticed that her eyes shone. It wasn't the effulgence of the sun. Was it the tears that were arrested in her beautiful, wide orbs? Before Sean could figure out what was happening, Sierra took the giant leap, holding onto Elizabeth's hand all the while. 

Sean ran to the patio on hearing a loud thud. He felt weak in his knees and could no longer stand. His eyes welled up and he gasped for breath. He felt that it was his fault. He shouldn't have left her unattended. Gathering whatever little strength that was left within him, he got up and trotted his way to the common area. The place was thronged by spectators. He made his way through the crowd. Blood had gathered on the floor. Sierra's lifeless form floated in the pool of blood. "She was behaving strangely," he heard a woman mutter.

He walked to her and introduced himself as Sierra's husband and asked her what she saw. 

"It appeared like your wife was talking to herself. She was talking aloud and there was nobody around her. She started jumping like a five-year-old and before I could realize, she jumped off the patio," the woman's voice trembled as she gave an account of what she saw. 

Sean stood staring at Sierra's face smeared with blood. He cursed himself for not taking proper care of her. He had suggested that she sought professional help, but Sierra never paid heed. She always acted on her accord. They were once a happy couple. They had everything they needed. Well-paying jobs, a decent lifestyle, a humble abode and their hearts overflowing with love for each other. They had tied the knot four years back. Everything was rosy and they couldn't thank the Almighty enough. Sierra had conceived and it all appeared surreal. Their joy knew no bounds. Sean had begun to take extra care of her. He showered her with more love and made sure that the little form growing inside her was comfortable.

One morning, Sierra was running late for work. She asked Sean if he could give her a ride. He said that he had to reach the office earlier than usual and suggested that she take a cab. She waited for a ride for ten minutes but in vain. The ticking clock got under her skin, and she decided to drive. Her mind meandered through the to-do list and was oblivious to the speedy truck that approached her. She lost control of the vehicle. The car hit a tree and her head hit the steering. She had begun to bleed. A few hours later, she regained consciousness but the doctor had divulged the information that she lost her baby. The earth shook beneath her. Her brain froze and she couldn't think straight. She was overpowered by pangs of sorrow. The emotional pain eclipsed the physical pain. Sean reached the hospital at noon and saw that she was in a wrecked state. He hugged her tightly and tears cascaded down her face and wet the back of his t shirt. They had spent the evening in each others arms trying to absorb their sorrow. 

Time heals every wound and gathering the strewn bits and pieces, Sean tried to start all over again. But it wasn't the case with Sierra. She had begun to narcotize herself and she dwelled in the world of self-created euphoria. With every smoke she drew, the closer she inched towards rotting in hell. She pictured nonexistent people talking to her. She imagined worst scenarios and spoke to imaginary people all the time. Her mood swung like a pendulum. She was either gloomy and depressed or ecstatic. She used to sleep for days at length or scampered across the dark alleys like an insomniac. Sean had suggested that they sought help but she denied. "I'm not mad," she snapped at him and shrieked. She cried for no reason and sometimes burst out in laughter. Not to mention that she lost her job. One of their close friends had suggested that a change of place would help her recoup.

Thus the hunt for a new apartment had begun. He had almost finalized the apartment but the unforeseen happened. She must have imagined that someone was talking to her. Her condition had cost her life. The sound of sirens at a distance brought him back to the present. He slumped against the floor and wept inconsolably. He blamed himself for her death. How he wished, he had forced her to consult a psychologist. The police officials approached him for questioning as he watched her lifeless body being bagged and taken away from his sight.

The house keys in his hand that read "Home sweet home" caught his attention. Maybe they weren't destined to move into that apartment after all, he thought. He stammered as he gave an account of the incident to the officials. He looked at the sky and saw that a beautiful form was waving at him. She was joined by another little form. Sierra was probably united with their daughter. If not in life, in death.