I'm Red and I'm Dead

The day of my funeral was an interesting day. Can I even say “day” anymore? I’m dead so what is the term for dead if you’re ghost? Now that’s weird to say…I’m a ghost and yet I don’t feel like it. Let me Introduce myself I’m Red. That’s not the original name just the nickname and the only name I can remember right now. I’m dead. Was killed by my teacher, I think. I need to stop saying I’m dead. Anyway, let’s recap my funeral.

“Momma? Come on momma it’s time to go inside the church.”

“I know baby girl. Your daddy was a big part of my life.”

Now let’s take a pause here. This no caring, low life, skank of the hoes, vending pussy woman never loved or cared about me. She kept our son in name brand shit for what? She knows good and well she led everyone to believe I was beating on her. I’m skill because she forgot I’m already dead. Damn it I said it again. What the hell does she expect? I love her but still. Let’s continue.

“But momma we have to make sure daddy gets his rest.”

Her stomach dropped to her knees. She turns around to face her innocent child. She felt more tears falling down her face as she remembers every time, he asked her to give him some rest and she selfishly did not. 

“Baby, he will rest I’m promise.” She said hanging her head low enough for her son not to see it. The son grabbed her hand and rubbed it.

Ok now wait. My baby…I do wish I can explain what is going on that his mom is A FUCKING LIAR!!!!! Let’s talk about it shall we. How many times did I ask this bi…wait I won’t say it. Hell, mothafucka I’m dead. This bitch to let me get rest. Let’s rewind, you see this face of regret. Sit in it and feel every tear of regret. Now we are getting somewhere. 

She takes her baby’s hand and together they walk to the casket to view his father in the casket. Different ones in the church were coming up to her saying I’m sorry for your loss. Her grandmother came placing her hand on her back.

“Hey baby how is you doing?”

“Grandma I feel sick to my stomach. I have nothing but regret and tears of I can’t make it up.”

Grandmother holds her hands, “Baby there is nothing you can do about it. You messed and fucked up. With him you can’t change it, but you can change the future with someone else.” She looks over at a gentleman standing by the wall talking to her grandfather.

“Yea…I guess your right, but it doesn’t change anything.”

Hold the fuck on. So, you mean to tell me I was right, and she got on my ass for cheating when I only cheated once? She up here sleeping with this man right under my nose. Aint this some shit right here like fuck you. I hope it hurt so bad you can’t sleep. Blaming me for something I was right on.  Oh, fuck grandma too for helping you cheat. I need something to drink. What do we have to drink. Now I want to see how this plays out. 

“Keep your head baby.” Her grandmother said kissing her forehead.

“I will do my best grandma.”

She watched her grandmother walk away and she looked back down at Red’s lifeless body. Confused on how she will raise their son without him. What will she tell him? The questions flooded her head.

"You look as though you are asking yourself too many questions.”

“Mark, hi.”

“How are you doing?”

“Not good. Trying to stay strong and then my baby doesn’t understand, and I can’t explain…”

“Hold on slow down. He will understand later.”

“He may not, he may hate me.”

She starts to cry but puts her head back to force the tears to go back.

“Let them go.”

“No not here.”

Well, where the hell you going to “cry” at then? All of them tears and you don’t want to let it go. Why you want to wait till later to cry? Oh! You are hiding something. Well, I got nothing but time thanks to you so spell the beans boo boo. Get that woman away from my body, she trying to look at my package. Perverted old ass woman. Won’t you tell her the time you cornered me asking if you could come over and “pray” for my house in lingerie. Of course, you’re not gone say nothing. And don’t pull we in the house of God shit either.

Mark guided her to the left side of the casket near the steps leading to the pulpit. “Baby, I know you need to cry, and we both know that it needs to happen. All I’m saying is he is gone, not coming back. Let me finally be there for you. Please?”

She grabbed his hand and held it. “Not here, please.”

Mark nodded letting go of her hand as she returned to the head of the casket.

“I can finally have her to myself.”

Look at this. The plot thickens as they say. Why do people say that? What the hell is it thicken? This aint gravy where you turn the temperature down, letting it shimmer as they say. That’s off topic, back to this cheating hoe. What does THAT mean? ‘I can finally have her to myself.’ I wonder as a ghost can I fast forward to see what happened after my funeral? 

“Who is it?”

“it’s me.”

“I know this me. I don’t know any other Me’s.”

“Mark.”

She opened the door for him smiling and excited to see him. He had her favorite candy, with her favorite flowers in the color matching the candy. He had on some black name brand sweatpants with a purple and black shirt to match.

“Mark! What is this?”

“You just lost your son’s father for one. For two you haven’t allowed yourself to cry and for three you didn’t eat anything at the repass. Which means you need something in your belly.”

She took the flowers and motioned him in. Mark walks in and then close the door behind him.

Well, well so I can fast forward to see what went on. Please show me more. Can we eat? Is that a thing? I want some popcorn. They got some ghost style or something. Hello? Ok back to y’all.

“I wasn’t really hungry.”

“Lies. The candy is gone.”

She looked down and saw he was right. She had eaten all the candy.

“I see. Glad I made dinner. Would you like some?”

“I will have any and everything you’re having.”

She smiled at him and began to fix his plate. “I made some sauce and I want you to try it. I thought it came out ok but need another opinion.”

Mark stood up placing his hands on the counter. “Now you know I know that I’m sure it was good, but I will try it. Let me go to the bathroom first.”

She walked up to him greeting him with a kiss. “Your plate will be ready for you when you are done.”

How long have yall been messing around? You not even concern about me. Some mothafucka killed me and you gone lay up with some other dude? Man fuc…what are you doing woman? Where is our son you seem sooooo concern about? Why the hell am I so damn hungry. If this is part of being a ghost, then fuck this shit.

She gets two plates one for her and one him. She makes his plate first and places it on the table. Then she makes herself one. She pulls a bottle out of the fridge and pours some on her plate. The bottle goes back in the fridge and takes the pot on the stove and pours it on his plate of food. Mark returns from the bathroom. “Which one is mine?” She points to the one she poured the sauce from the pot on. He sits down and starts eating. She brings her plate and sits down across from him and began to eat her food.

Hold up. Rockell you aint NEVER been this fancy with me girl. Then you pour something different on bro plate what the hell are you up to? It looks the same color, wait why are you smiling like that? BITCH!!!!!! What did you do? Now looking at it, that plate do look good though. Damn can I not have food shit. 

“Mark, there is something I need to tell you.”

“Go…ahead…shit.”

“Are you ok? Is it too spicy?”

“I’m not sure…I thi…”

“You think so?”

Mark nodded unable to say anything.

“Oh ok. Well, I made it spicy on purpose. I know you killed him to have me all to yourself. Plus, I know you been stalking me before you said anything to me. I was wrong by giving you conversation and only requiring you to have a conversation with me. That’s my fault but to take my son’s father and then giving my son brownies laced with drugs. The hospital called me right before you came and told me my son has passed away. No sir that don’t fly with me. Glad you like spicy food because I poison the sauce, well I didn’t poison it I added an ingredient to make it poisoness. In about forty-five seconds the spices will increase your heart rate causing it to do what it does I don’t give a fuck. Basically, no paramedics would be able to save you from the coma or bring you back. Irreversible damage.”

Mark collapse on the floor not moving. She checked his pulse to find it slowly decreasing until it completely stopped.

“God, I don’t know if you can hear me but please tell Red I’m sorry. I should’ve told him.”

Naw don’t stop you on a roll. Tell me what?

“I should’ve told him that his investment was being stolen and the company he worked for is his company. He owned the whole thing and didn’t know it. I thought I could make my wrongs right by him. I am dead wrong and that’s exactly what he is dead. So, I will make sure his son junior follows in his footsteps.”

Girl you just said my son was killed so what the hell are you talking about? I’m clear that I know I’m dead. 

“I was on my way to tell him we are pregnant and having a boy. Little Red Jr. will be here on his birthday.”

Ok maybe I was a little too hard. She should’ve told me hell. I guess this is the part that sucks about being a ghost, knowing the truth and can’t do anything about it.