Top Ten Things About Ben (That Make Jessie Maybe Love Him)

10. He's a talented musician (in a band … and they aren’t that great)

There is something truly unique to see a talented musician in a band that can't quite put a melody together. She would watch them rehearsing, and she honestly couldn't understand what kept them together. But what bliss she could see on Ben's face when he was playing the bass guitar. He didn't need to be on the Top 40, and quite frankly, that wasn't the point. What he wanted was to create. To create something with his friends, if only just for themselves.  The dedication he had to something he loved was uncanny.

9. He’s adventurous

Jessie had never been known to be a big risk-taker. She had politely declined sky-diving for her sister's 30^th birthday and white water rafting for her brother's college graduation celebration. Jessie didn't really regret passing up these death-trap type situations, but she did miss out on the bonding that the two had together. By excluding herself from the activities, she felt more isolated each time. Jessie yearned to be carefree and to flourish in an adrenaline racing scenario. Still, she could never bring herself to take these leaps.

When Ben came around, she found herself zip lining on an off-shore island and snorkeling at night to see the bioluminescent plankton. He encouraged her to join in the excitement and do things that pushed her out of her comfort zone. In some way, she began to realize, Ben had reached out a hand when she didn't even know that she was floundering.

8. He rubs my back at night.

A couple of months into dating, he stayed the night for the first time at her apartment. She brushed her teeth timidly and peeked into her mauve bedroom, watching Ben read in her bed. When she crawled into bed, he turned and smiled at her, placing the book on the nightstand and lifting the covers. She smiled shyly as he kissed her goodnight. She'd never had a guy stay the night before, and she wasn't sure what to do with her body. Were they supposed to cuddle? Would it be weird if they didn't?

She rolled onto her side and turned off the light to hide her anxious thoughts in the darkness. Jessie could feel him shift beside her, and she felt his warm, rough hand up and down her back. She was instantly soothed and melted under his hands. She hadn't slept so well in years. She even hit the snooze button in the morning, twice.

7. He taught me how to reverse park

Oh, how she loathed reverse parking. Her parking spot at the apartment was between a lifted Ford 4x4 and a Toyota Highlander, which made it terrifying to back out of and gave her anxiety every time. When Ben saw her pure terror in backing out during the morning rush out of her apartment, he committed to teaching her how to reverse park. The first time she tried to reverse park, Jessie ended up rear-ending her Mom's new Honda Accord, which led to lots of yelling and crying on her end. Ben's teachings had been patient, slightly infuriating at times, but ended up making her life a hell of a lot easier!

6. He Cooks

Jessie had never been able to get the hang of cooking. She had never quite gotten the hang of the spices and seasoning. She got frustrated with simply cooking pasta. How al dente is al dente really? She shied away from the kitchen and stuck to take-out Thai and anything pre-cooked and frozen. But Ben, he was a real artist in the kitchen. He was the first guy that cooked for her and went out of his way to make sure she had food in the fridge. One autumn day, after the first rain of the season canceled their plans, they stayed in, and he helped her cook scrambled eggs without burning them.

She smiled at the memory that was etched in her mind. He cooks, but he does leave the spatulas, pans, and utensils everywhere and doesn’t bother to clean it up right away… It was incredibly annoying. She hated the feeling of wet leftovers floating around in tepid water. If he attempted to do his own dishes, she'd find sticky patches and grease in the hidden edges and corners.

 She nibbled on the end of her ballpoint. She scribbled to the top of the list.

He cooks (but doesn’t clean).

5. He’s spontaneous (aka. Doesn’t have a plan)

When Jessie and Ben started to discuss future plans, she couldn’t help but panic when he said that he was just sorta figuring it out. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to stay in California or spend the rest of his life traveling around the United States. Immediately she started comparing their wants and needs. If he was traveling, would he want to get married? Would he want to have children? Are those things that he's considered into his unplanned plan? Ben was indeed a spontaneous soul, he'd rather just freefall into a trip rather than to make a detailed plan of where to go and what to do. Jessie was the opposite. She wanted structure, she thrived off of discipline.

Could this carefree and incredibly lax life be able to challenge her in a way that she needed – a way that she craved? Would she be willing to compromise her own desire’s for Ben’s? For love?

4. THE SEX

Hands down, amazing. The last guy she slept with lived down the hallway of her apartment complex. She remembered the squeaking of the bedpost and a Rams poster clinging to the wall for dear life.

Ben was fantastic. 10/10 would recommend. No addendums required.

3. He’s always around (but I like it)

 Jessie lived by herself and was comfortable being in her own company. She learned how to make herself laugh and had become so used to doing whatever she had wanted whenever she wanted. Ben came around and totally disrupted the routine she had. In the mornings, she'd be up early and read a book or go for a nice walk, but with Ben, she found herself lazing around in bed an extra 45 minutes and staying in watching reruns of a show she's seen a million times. But watching with Ben made everything just a little bit funnier, a little bit more comforting. She wasn't used to having someone who really wanted to be involved in the mundane nuances of her day today.

Ben was breakfast, lunch, and dinner with snacks in between. And for once, she had an appetite.

2.    He always treats her (especially on those bad days)

After one particularly terrible day, the one where she spilled her coffee on her salmon satin top, stood up too quick and knocked her knee on her desk, and turned too quickly and jammed her funny bone causing intense static vibrating up her arm for twenty minutes, she came home to find a cozy Ben on her couch watching TV.  For the first time, she was frustrated with his presence.

He turned to her as she mumbled a hello and rushed to her bedroom, slamming the door shut. She needed space, time to breathe, time for herself, and here he was, taking up that precious space. She kicked off her heels and removed work clothes. Her arms getting twisted in the too-soft satin and her fingers slipping at the buttons. Ben knocked on the door softly. She pulled her hands through her hair and didn’t respond. Jessie moved slowly to the bathroom and started running the shower, hoping to wash away the bad luck of the day. When she finally was ready to face Ben, she saw her favorite Netflix show queued up and her favorite ice cream sitting on the counter. He sat on the couch with a heating blanket smiling. Jessie couldn't help but sheepishly smile, and on the way to the couch, she was sure to snag the pint of ice cream.

1.    He saw me

At first, Ben didn’t seem like he’d be that monumental in her life. She didn’t think that this guy who she met at a local bookstore was going to be in her life another year later. Truthfully, without him, Jessie would have had a pretty great life still. She probably would move to Los Angeles and live in a way-too-expensive one-bedroom where she could view the dusty purple orange skyline at sunset. Jessie would have been happy. But with Ben, she has love and companionship. Someone to rant about the newest book release from their favorite mystery writer. She has someone to laugh with, stay up until the sunrise with, and argue with. The good and the bad. She could have those beautiful things with this wonderful person.

Ben was one of the first people to understand her compulsions to organize by the hour their road trip to the Grand Canyon. He never complained but simply chuckled at the timesheet she would email him while on her lunch break at work. After reading one of her books, he'd replace it precisely in the spot he had taken it (she organized by genre, color, and author last name). If he were frustrated by her, he rarely showed it.

For once, she didn't feel ashamed for her quirks and habits. She felt accepted. Maybe she was ready to dive all in for him. Maybe she was ready to move forward with him. Or maybe she needed another list.