Twenty Minute Queendom

Twenty Minute Queendom

Every year for our birthday, four girlfriends with the same birth date would make plans for the Saturday after or before the 5^th. We met in the first grade and the same day of our birthday was often the last day of school for the year and the class end-of-the-year party. Well, that became a yearly thing for us. Some years we just went to lunch for an hour at a central restaurant between our jobs. Since I became an adult, things have moved at a too-busy pace to daydream or even time for a wish.

Two years, unfortunately, at the hospital cafeteria; because of my illness and Fay's job. We never vowed again; the restaurant put us out both times. They didn't appreciate our happiness; they were not happy that we didn't purchase a lot from their establishment. We love fried chicken, but it is not on their healthy menu, even though I made sure that the birthday cake fed fifty last year and shared it with the staff and everyone in the cafeteria who wanted a slice. The hospital frowned on outside foods, unapproved gatherings, and people having fun! 

Each year we'd start planning in mid-May. If June landed on the first weekend, it would be a Kings Dominion day trip on Saturday and the club Saturday night. We could be free of responsibilities, cares, and worries for about sixteen hours. The one thing I made everyone do every year was to take a photo with all of the Hanna-Barbera characters we saw as we entered the amusement park.

One year, after a brutal attack by my ex, three days before the 5^th. I was in pain, swollen, black, blue-purple, and embarrassed; I decided to skip the celebration. Because I didn't want sympathy, I didn't want to have to answer questions or to hear the comments as I told you he would kill you one day. I also didn't want to spoil the day for everyone else, and I couldn't even open my mouth wide enough to eat a sub, which was lunch for the day, at 1 p.m. I had just sat down with a cup of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich when someone knocked on the door; they brought the celebration to me. When I decided to change the location, they all screamed: "there's no party without everyone there!" "Let us in; we'll kill him and feed him to the pigs on Grampa G's farm."

I was glad to see them and glad they didn't say, "Wow, girlfriend, your face looks terrible. We piled on my plush couch, ate lunch, and watched soaps. Good friends just support one another in times of need. Nonetheless, I never saw that guy again. That was the first and the last abusive relationship I've been in. the girlfriends all admitted they had been there a time or two, so no one had a right to criticize.

 One year we decided on the park next to the kiddie pool. Three of us have children, and they all were water births. While everyone got their children all tired and hungry for fried chicken, macaroni salad, and watermelon, I lay on the blanket watching them splash and laugh until I drifted off. That was the big thing in the 80s.

They carried me on their shoulders, chanting "hail Queen Kim" they placed me on my throne and adorned my head and shoulders with a crown and robe. My septa, gold with a giant ruby encaged in spiraling gold stems leading up to a single diamond at the top. I didn't know what they were expecting until I saw the young girls who looked like me. I asked what they would need from me. The ant queen was responsible for teaching the colonists how to market and share with neighboring ant hills. Well, I've been the top-selling real estate agent in the seventh district for 10 years, so how different could this job be? I can't wait to meet my team, but first, I want to see the production area and learn about the product development methods used now and what they would like to change. I requested their books, looked them over, and requested a meeting with management for the next day. Upon changing how they labeled their products, getting everyone's eyes checked, and appointing a new layout director, their productivity and distribution increased by 74% overnight.

Next, I visit the schools; the girls are in an area of the first building close to the kitchen and dining room. They were learning to store the food the workers brought back from the human picnic. The boys were learning endurance and weightlifting. They are being taught how to carry ten times their body weight effortlessly. That explains how they were able to whisk me away so fast.

 "Kim, Kim, what are you mumbling about?" "who took you where, when?" "Girl, wake up!" "The sunburn must be making you hallucinate" "have you been asleep the whole time the kids were in the pool?"

Asleep? That was so realistic I had conversations with the working ranks of anthill #5542. I inspired some young students to follow their dreams. I taught the colonists how to effectively promote and distribute their products. But, mostly, I learned that they have to forage human waste; they don't like the taste of grasses, and centuries ago, vowed to only eat their dead after natural life ceased; no more war between hills. A regional find that will feed multiple hills is an unfinished carton of fast-food French fries. Picnic foods were the best and biggest staple of their diet, and they had to learn how to preserve, store and distribute them among the neighboring colonies. They saw me going over my pitch for the facility down the road and knew I could help. Abducting me was the fastest and best idea that they came up with.

"Wow, girl, when you dream, you dream in color, and we were only gone twenty minutes!"