Wedding Day Jitters

As I looked in the mirror, on the exterior I saw a bride-to-be but, on the interior, I saw a nervous wreck. I admired the dress for a bit, the way it gracefully fell to the floor, with lace covering the neckline, it seemed to sparkle in the sunlight. It had to be the most beautiful piece of clothing I’ve ever worn but, the question was….did it feel right? Was I sure this was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with? I was losing my breath, I felt as if I was drowning, drowning in my doubts and worry as if no one could possibly seem to empathize with the amount of confusion and concern I was experiencing right now, until she walked into the room, Clara, my bestest friend since childhood, the only person in this world that I could tell anything to and she would always know what to say, she was the one person in this world whom I felt understood me, she came in squealing, “Oh my! Oh my! That has to be the most gorgeous dress I’ve ever seen worn by an ever so gorgeous bride!”, I agreed but as soon those words came out of her mouth, I started to sob, the black paint of the mascara along with the eyeliner started to smear across my face as it mixed with my tears, how could I be so sad on the day where I was supposed to be the happiest? Clara comforted me, confused as to why I was so upset, I then explained to her how I was feeling and I begged for her to reassure me, to tell me that everything was ok, that it was all in my head but, instead, all she said was, “Tell me the story of how you two met again”. I was rather confused as to how she said it so calmly and how that was the first thing she decided to tell me, although I was hesitant, I explained it to her, the day we met. “It was a warm summer day, sometime around mid-July, there was a gentle breeze but yet you could still feel the warmth of the bright sun against your skin, I was at the beach with my friends, we were young college graduates, without a care in the world, as the day went on, my friends dared me to go talk to a young man around the same age as me who was sitting alone reading a book, I don’t know what it was but there was this feeling inside of me, this feeling that I was meant to talk to this person, a small part of me knew that after I had a conversation with this man, it wouldn’t be our last one. So, I went up to him and as soon as we made eye contact, I knew, I knew that I wanted this man in my life for a very long time, we conversed and ultimately, we exchanged phone numbers, that was the riskiest thing I’ve ever done, I took a chance and I’m glad I did”. As soon as I finished the story all my negative thoughts left my brain as if they dissolved into the air like smoke. I now knew why Clara asked me to narrate the story once more, to remind myself of the love I felt for my soon-to-be husband. I didn’t have to say a single word, the expression on my face said it all, the way my muscles unclenched, and a smile formed, Clara knew she saved me once again when I needed her most. After the trip down memory lane, we realized that my face looked like a mess, I had to fix the splatter of makeup that was left behind by my tears, Clara came to the rescue once again and helped me remove and re-apply my makeup and it looked better than before, I looked in the mirror again, this time with Clara by my side, and I knew there was only one thing for me to do.

***

As the wedding march starts to play, everyone stands up and turns to look at me, I quickly panicked because I felt guilty, guilty for even questioning if I wanted to get married today, right now, at this moment but, I start walking and as I’m walking, all of the experiences I’ve ever had with the groom start to replay in my head. Ever heard the saying “I just saw my life flash before my eyes”? Well, it did but it wasn’t just my life, it was OUR life and as I was walking, by my side, holding onto my arm every step of the way was Clara, like always. We finally reach the groom and the priest and when I locked eyes with my soon-to-be husband, it was like that warm day at the beach all over again and with the biggest smile on his face, all he says is, “Hi”, smiling back I say, “Hi, let’s do this thing”. It is true when they say a person’s wedding day is one of the most joyous days of their life, happiness seemed to radiate from every single person in the ceremony and so, we carried on with our vows, I had a bit of trouble figuring out what to write because I wanted it to be perfect, but, I decided to say what was on my mind at the moment. Due to the circumstances, I felt it was only fitting to tell the story of….you guessed it, the day we met, it was perfect. Almost too perfect. I turn to look at the guests and I see Clara’s smile start to fade into an emotion that was hard to describe but from what I could tell, it seemed to be despair, why was she sad? I couldn’t seem to understand what could possibly lead her to feel such a negative emotion on MY wedding day. After the vows, the priest asks if anyone would like to object to the wedding, as I look into the group of people sitting promptly in their chairs, someone starts to rise…. it was none other than Clara and suddenly everything made sense.