Submitted to: Contest #256

Ravens Tumble Gym

Written in response to: "Write a story about two sporting rivals having to work together."

Fiction Friendship Inspirational

 The crowd was going crazy. You hadn’t been to a real sports competition until you went to a cheer competition. The support from the stands was unmatched. Seriously, you probably haven’t seen anything like it. 

 Amber looked out into the crowd, her eyes moving hastily. It was down to the final two teams. Whoever won this round won the championship and took home the all star trophy. She wanted to know that her family was there to either cheer her on or be a shoulder for her to cry on. 

 She saw her mom, Rachel looking dead at her. She hadn’t took her eyes off of Amber since the competition started. She felt a sense of relief knowing her family was there. “Come on,” she’d thought to herself. “Let’s hear it! Who’s taking home the big one?!”

 The announcer stood in front of the entire arena with a big smile on her face. She waited awkwardly for the crowd to quiet down. “Umm hmm,” she cleared her throat. “I first would like to commend all of our girls here today for their dedication and hard work. Although there can only be one winner here today, you’re still all winners in our books.” The crowd went crazy again. Parents were waving huge fans with their daughter’s and son’s faces on them. They cheered them on while anticipating the announcement of the 2024 all star cheer champions. 

 “The winner of the 2024 all star cheer championship goes to,” the announcer paused for a second and the crowd was suddenly silent. “The Starlights!”

 Amber locked eyes with her mom right before kneeling to the floor in disappointment. Her team, “The Braves” had won this competition for the last 3 years. This being their last year was their chance at being undefeated. Losing to the Starlights was just the icing on the cake, in a bad way.

 Amber slipped out the back emergency door avoiding talking to any reporters. She didn’t want to face the embarrassment and she mainly didn’t want to face her arch nemesis Raniah. Her and Raniah had trained together when they were younger at Raven’s Tumble Gym. Raniah’s mom, Ashley had been a coach there all these years. They were best friends before going to different high schools and cheering on opposite teams. 

Her family was right behind her as she ran out the door. The door flung open so hard you’d think it was going to break. Right before they could get in the car Raniah yelled out to Amber, “Hey! Can we…” before she could finish her sentence Amber yelled back. “I don’t want to talk to you. You want to rub it in my face that you won. I don’t want to hear it!” She motioned to her dad the drive off. He did.

 It was a long silent car ride home. Well, not that long. They lived 20 mins from the arena but it felt like forever. Amber stared out the window watching the trees pass by one by one. Even Eva, her 6 years old sister who was never quiet sat silent. As they were pulling in to the driveway she announced. “We never talk about this again!” And slammed the door shut. 

 A few blocks over at Raniah’s house there was no celebrating despite the pivotal win they just earned with the Starlights. “I’m sorry Raniah,” Ashley said in a guilty tone. “We should be celebrating.”

“I understand mom. I know how important the gym meant to you.” 

She gazed at her daughter and formed the shy smile. She had worked as a tumble coach at the gym for 16 years now. Over the past few years things had gotten financially rocky and they needed to raise money to be able to help the owner refinance the mortgage. Raniah wanted nothing more than to save the gym, other than winning the championship trophy. So far she was 1 for 2. 

  There had been a fundraiser planned to help raise the money. Very dreadfully Ashley asked “You think Amber would be willing to help us with the fundraiser? I think people would be more inclined to participate and donate if they see two of the most successful girls that were bred from the gym come together and fight to keep it.”

“I tried to ask her after the competition yesterday and she blew me off like always.” 

“Maybe I can get her mom to talk to her.”

“Good luck with that,” she replied to her mom dismissing the idea. 

 Eva was running from the kitchen to the living room quite frankly working Amber’s nerves with all the noise. Rachel walked into the kitchen where Amber sat on a stool at the island. She had the phone on speaker phone. “Honey I have a question, but think before you answer.” 

“Who’s on the phone mom,” she asked in a matter of fact tone. Any time her mom wanted her to “think” before talking it was surely something she wasn’t going to like. 

“Raniah and he…” 

“Mom! I don’t want to talk about her!”

She stormed out the front door. Her dad heard the commotion and went outside to join them. They stood on the on covered porch. “Look! They want to know if you’d like to help with the fundraiser tomorrow.” She spit it out before Amber could cut her off again. “Me and your dad will be helping. Your sister loves going to the gym and we want to help save it if we can.”

Her dad chimed in. “Would it hurt you to think about someone other than yourself for once?” He was fed up with his daughter’s bratty attitude although he was mostly to blame for her selfishness. Always treating her as his princess who could do no wrong was catching up to him and her mother. 

“Eva. Do you want me to help tomorrow,” she asked her baby sister ignoring her mom and dad standing right there. 

Eva didn’t really understand what was happening but she said “yes.” Without saying another word Amber walked back inside. “Thanks Eva,” her dad said nodding his head.

 They spent the next few days making posters. “$5 pies”, “HELP SAVE RAVENS”, $10 car wash. Amber, Raniah, Eva, both their parents and many others from the community help set up. Amber and Raniah worked closely together during this time. Sometimes even laughing at a joke or smiling at each other when talking about old times. They would have fund raisers just like this back when they cheered together. They set up folding tables and chairs. Lined up all of the pies. Gathered water buckets, hoses and towels for the car wash. Assigned someone to collect money. They were ready to save the gym. It was hot that day so most people had on straw hats. Little handheld fans blew out hot air. Amber wore her normal frown on her face. Raniah didn’t let it get to her. She was still shocked that her old friend even obliged them with her presence. It seemed as though all the promotion on social media paid off. It was a huge turn out. The entire town seemed to be there. Music was playing. Cars were getting good scrub downs. The pies sold out in less than 30 minutes. 

“Great turn out,” said Ashley to Amber in an attempt to make small talk. Amber gave her a slim grin. “Thanks for being here. You’re being a great example to Eva.” 

People were congratulating Raniah all day. Many of her cheer friends came to help and support and Amber wasn’t hiding her being uncomfortable very well. These two young girls that once were friends had over time turned into rivals. It was actually pretty sad when you thought about it. But today, thanks to some common wants or needs for some they’d come together. Surprising lot some. 

  It was time to announce the final amount that was raised. Ashley stood on the middle of the park mic in hand. “Drumroll please,” she said happily. Everyone did a fake drumroll. “The total number raised today was $7303.” Everyone clapped. Raniah and Amber both looked to each other with sad expressions. They knew that it wasn’t enough. Amber felt a sense of defeat even worse than losing the all star battle. Raniah grabbed her hand and said, “Thank you.”

“For what,” she said sounding so helpless. “We didn’t even raise enough.” 

Raniah smiled and said “I have my friend back. Even if it was for one day.”

There mothers stood at the table across from them. They couldn’t hear what they were saying but they knew from there demeanor that something beautiful was happening. 

 Ravens Tumble Gym closed permanently 2 weeks later. A&R cheer center opened a year later. Owners Amber and Raniah had been friends since grade school. They don’t count the two years that they didn’t speak.

Posted Jun 25, 2024
Share:

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

7 likes 3 comments

21:43 Jul 04, 2024

So many good things learned from your superb story. Welcome!

I thought Amber behaved like a spoiled brat. Then I learned her father had set her up to fail by telling her she couldn't. Failing with grace is a skill she had needed to learn Resilience a skill she needed to learn. A cautionary tale for parents and competitors.

The need to set a good example to a younger sister.

The need to look on the bright side. They didn't raise enough (they raised a lot) but Raniah (who won the competition) never had any competitive malice towards Amber but stated she was happy to have her friend back. Aw! So lovely.

A few points. A run through Grammarly? There is a free service they offer.

to a cheer competition. - in the first paragraph a proper definition for dummies like me? Cheerleading competition. I got it later on. People from other countries and age groups are in Reedsy.

Losing to the Starlights was just the icing on the cake, in a bad way. - just when I thought you had used the wrong analogy (also a cliche!) you came in with 'in a bad way.' This is a negative way to describe the situation. Be creative - readers will love it. Losing to the Starlights was like a delicious chocolate cake being offered, thrown in your face, and finding out it is made of mud. Use your imagination.

I know how important the gym meant to you.” - mixed up here. 'I know how important the gym is to you.' or 'I know what the gym means to you.'

actually pretty sad - never use watered down descriptions. 'it's tragic.' or 'such a blow.' or 'it's the worst.' Leave out actually as with it's 'ly' (often there are better ways to describe things than using 'ly' words. ' Actually' is an unnecessary 'filler.'

when you thought about it. - As this is written for readers there is no need to tell them to think about it. If they have read it so far, they are already thinking about it. You have already let them inside your heart and head. Leave out this instruction.

common wants or needs - 'needs' sounds imperative. Including 'wants' is shallow for a life and death situation. Life or death of the Tumble Gym and fundraising to save it. This is mega, dire, and important. 'wants' is dumbing the situation down. To make your writing 'crisp' (my expression,) state things in as few a words as possible and choose words which are dramatic and specific. (Unless you are throwing in great metaphors, similes, or descriptive prose - without overdoing it, of course.)

Reply

Martin Ross
13:49 Jul 01, 2024

Nice work! Welcome to the group — hope you have a lot of fun and creativity here. I love the people here.

Reply

11:20 Jul 02, 2024

Thank you!!

Reply

RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in Reedsy Studio. All for free.