Winter Aconite

It was so terribly cold. Snow was falling, and it was almost dark. Rowan loathed the second and third months of the year in Wisconsin. The weather could reach nearly fifty degrees one day and then it could snow eight inches two days later. But Rowan didn’t let her abhorrence of the weather stop her. She only clutched her jacket around her tighter and refitted her hat. Her fingers and toes had gone numb a while ago. She didn’t know how long she had been running, but she knew she couldn’t stop now. It’s been over several hours now, hasn’t it, she thought. She didn’t know where she was going, just that she needed to get as far away as possible. She fell, for the fourth time, on the slick, slush-filled ground. She didn’t get up immediately, instead, staying on the ground, laughing hysterically. Long ago, she would have gotten up immediately, cursed the world for her horrible luck, and kept on going. None of that mattered to Rowan anymore.

Everything had gone wrong all at once. First, her parents got divorced without considering how she would feel about it. Then, her boyfriend broke up with her and she got fired from her job for being irritable with customers. She was failing half of her classes and started getting into fights with her teachers and peers. The final straw for Rowan came when her mom hit her after finally seeing the calls and emails from school about her grades and the fights. She turned her phone off, grabbed her jacket, and left. She hadn’t stopped since then.

Picking herself off of the ground, the adrenaline Rowan had been running on faded. Her knees hurt from falling, her face hurt from being hit, and her legs hurt from nonstop running. She was hungry, with no food to eat. Thirsty, with nothing to drink. She thought about turning around and going home; at least it would be warm there. Then, she remembered the last words her mother had told her before she left. “Is this how I raised you? I don't even recognize my own daughter anymore.” Those words stung. No one's going to miss me, she thought. And besides, I don't even know the way back.

She kept going, at a slower pace now. Before long, she was met with the edge of a forest. She stood there for a minute, contemplating what she should do. It was almost completely dark now, the moon in the sky being the only source of light. Faced with no other viable options, she walked into the thicket. Maybe no one will find me here, Rowan reasoned. The snow and branches crunched under her feet. The wind howled in the night, making it colder. Something commonly said in Wisconsin, was “It’s not actually that cold. It’s just the wind.” She cursed under her breath and held her jacket tighter.

“I hate Wisconsin. I hate this stupid weather. And I hate my goddamn life! I wish I were fucking dead!” Rowan shouted, even though there was no one around to hear her.

Far in the distance, she saw a light. It was small with a warm glow. Fire! She summoned all of the strength she had left and ran toward the light, hoping for a heat source. As she got closer, she saw the light was contained in a large mass. A house. It was nothing extravagant, just a small cottage in the woods. Despite wanting to get away from everyone, Rowan knew her body could not last any longer in the cold. She stumbled around looking for a door, and when she found it she knocked on the door three times before everything went dark.

Rowan awoke, believing that everything from the previous night had just been a dream. It wasn’t until she sat up and looked around that she realized it wasn’t. She was in an unfamiliar room. There was a bed, a dresser, and a mirror. There really wasn’t much else in the room. There were several woolen blankets on the bed she had slept in. Her boots were placed next to the door and her hat and jacket were hung neatly on a coat rack.

She slowly got up from the bed and made her way to the door. Pains filled her legs as she walked. An unfortunate side effect of all of the running. She opened the door and was met with the smell of a home-cooked breakfast. It was something Rowan hadn’t had in a long time; longer than she could remember. She cautiously traveled down the hallway to the living room and dining room. There was an older couple in the kitchen. The older woman stood at the stove cooking bacon and sausages, while her husband, presumably, sat at the dining table with coffee and a newspaper in hand. The woman looked up and Rowan and flinched.

“Oh, you’re awake!” She exclaimed. “We found you passed out on our steps last. We brought you inside to get you warmed up. Would you like some tea or some coffee?” She was like one of those Grandmas you hear about who always have cookies in the oven or freshly baked.

“Coffee, please,” Rowan replied. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d received such warmth from people. 

“Ope, I forgot to introduce myself!” The lady laughed. “I’m Alice and this is my husband, Roy.” Roy looked up from his newspaper and nodded.

“You gave us quite the fright last night, young lady.” Rowan’s cheeks flushed, now feeling guilty for intruding on the couple, and she profusely apologized to them.

“Oh, it’s no trouble at all,” said Alice, setting down coffee and a plate of eggs and bacon. “What’s your name, dear?”

“Thank you. It’s Rowan. Rowan Lyon.” She barely managed to hold herself back from ravenously devouring the food.

“Now,” Roy said, folding and setting the newspaper aside. “If you don’t mind us asking, whatever were you doing all the way out here, that late at night, and with it being so cold?” Rowan set her fork down. It was a question she was sort of hoping to avoid, but she felt they deserved to know why there was a passed-out 16-year-old on their doorstep.

“Trying to escape the hell that is my life,” she said.

“By freezing to death?!” Alice exclaimed.

“Where were you going to go?” Roy asked calmly.

“I don’t know,” Rowan admitted. “Just as far away from this town as I possibly could.”

“What–if you’re comfortable saying–sparked your desire to escape, dear?” Alice asked, sitting down at the table across from Rowan. Rowan sighed and ran a hand through her hair. 

“Oh, God. It was so many things at once. But I suppose what started it all was my parents’ divorce. They went through with it without even talking to me about it or considering how it would affect me. And whenever I tried to talk to them about it, they would brush it off. I was so stressed about it that my grades and overall performance at school fell. Then teachers and other kids were always on my back about it so I started getting into fights with them. Yesterday, my mom finally found out about the fights and she freaked out on me. That’s when I left.”

“Oh, you poor dear,” Alice looked at Rowan similarly to how one would look at a sad puppy. “I know this might not be what you want to hear right now, but even though it’s tough right now, it will get better. I think what you need is to go home and have a serious conversation with your parents. Make them listen to you. Their divorce affects you just as much as it does them.” 

Rowan stood up and walked to the window. Looking out of it, she said, “I don’t know. I’ve tried talking to them, but it never gets through to them. I just don’t see what else there is to do.” Then, Rowan noticed something she hadn’t in the dark last night. But now that the sun was out, she could see it clear as day. Scattered throughout the blanket of snow were small, yellow flowers.

“What are those? Those flowers?” She asked pointing out the window.

“Winter Aconite. Eranthis hyemalis,” replied Roy, standing up from the table. “They’re one of the first flowers to bloom in spring. We see them around here a lot, this time of year. They do perfectly well in snow. Fascinating, isn’t it?” Rowan nodded and then thought, If something so beautiful can come to be under such horrible conditions, then why shouldn’t I be able to grow from this? She turned around to face Alice and Roy, stood there for a moment, then ran back to the room she woke up in. She fished her phone out of her jacket pocket. She turned it on and there were over two dozen missed calls and texts from both her parents asking where she was; a couple from her friends too. Maybe it’s going to be okay, after all, she thought. Tugging her boots on and putting her jacket on, she walked back to the dining room and thanked the couple once again for the food and the place to sleep. Alice ran after Rowan as she walked out the door. 

“Where are you going?” She shouted.

“Home!” Rowan shouted back. “I have to talk to my parents!”

“Do you know how to get back?” Roy appeared behind Alice in the doorway. Rowan stopped and looked around trying to remember which way she’d come from. “We can give you a ride if you’d just tell us your address.”

It wasn’t a very far distance between the couple’s house and Rowan’s house. It seemed much farther to Rowan because she was running and not driving. When they turned down her street, she could see a police car parked in her driveway. An officer was standing outside her house talking to both of her parents. Their faces were both blotchy and their eyes were slightly swollen. Seeing them, tears welled up in Rowan’s own eyes. Roy stopped the car right in front of her driveway. Rowan graciously thanked them one last time and stepped out of the car. She ran into her parents' arms, apologizing for leaving. And for the first time in a very long while, she thought everything might actually turn out alright.