A Day in the Park

CW: Themes of child losss

A Day in the Park

DADDY!!!!!! The voice broke through his head sending bolts careening throughout his skull. He clapped his hands to his ears in a frivolous effort to stifle the echoing blast. He looked around trying to bring the area into focus. A half-moon pinged its light across playground equipment and he could smell the pulpy aroma of the refreshed carpet of materials which lay under it. And beneath that, his own summer ripeness. Wind whispered through the trees behind him and caressed the back of his head. A dented soda can thumped and skittered across the deserted parking lot. Bats and bugs alike flittered around the globes of the two remaining functional safety lights in this section of the park. The one in the deserted parking lot and the other on the far side of the grounds from the bench on which Dexter had spent the night; again.

As the noise between his ears faded to a memory, he dropped his feet to the ground and stood, undoing one loop of his knapsack from the security knot around his arm, and stretched. His knees popped like twin firecrackers in the early dawn light. Small echoes from his knees caused him to wince. He set his legs a bit farther apart and twisted his back to the right. He tried again only a bit faster this time and was rewarded with a satisfying crack from his spine. He repeated the move to his left and sighed with the resultant crack. Dexter hefted his shoulders a couple of times and slung his knapsack on his back.

He headed to the still operating light farther into the park following the meandering walking path staring at the memories of his little boy climbing the very slide to his left. The giggles of his little one rippled through the confines of his pained memories. As Dexter tore his eyes from the slide they slipped over the vision of the wrecked SUV and a tiny sneakered foot protruding from beneath a front tire.

A salty tear dragged through the dirt on his cheek and was lost in the tangled, grey-streaked beard he now wore. Dexter blinked away the daily vision and shook his head. He reoriented his direction for the restrooms and water fountains.

He cupped one hand under the small arcing jet of cool water and splashed his face and rubbed the back of his neck. He splashed his face again, washing away another tear. He rinsed his mouth and drank deep from the fountain trying to remember if it was Tuesday or Wednesday. If it was Wednesday, then it was time to change his clothes.

DADDY!!!! The scream rent through his head again causing him to stagger back a step and jerk in surprise flinging drops of water. This time the sound emanated from the copse of trees to his right. “Jeremy?” His son’s name slipped out in a trembling whisper.

“Daddy!” It was a faint whimper but still came from the trees.

Dexter took a step toward the sound and shook his head, running a hand down his face and retracted the step.

“Daaaddddy! Peas help qwikwee.” A sniffle followed the plaintive wail. “I can’t find you and Mommy. I can’t see you.”

Dexter’s sob caught in his throat as he clamped his jaw against the noise. “It can’t be.” The choked whispered slipped around the lump in his chest. And this time he completed the step to the trees followed by second hesitant shuffle.

“Daddy!!” The higher pitched whimper at the end of that word ended Dexter’s trepidation and he bounded into the trees.

“I’m coming Jeremy!” The aura from the safety light closest to the path could not penetrate the veil of interlocking leafy branches as Dexter dodged around trunks and harried over roots in his haste. A faint shadow of blue deeper into the copse drew him forward.

He rounded a large trunk and saw his 4-year-old, bathed in soft blue light. Jeremy’s small toothed smile filled his face as he said Daddy again and held up his arms. Dexter could hear the smile in his son’s voice this time. A joyful replacement to the painful wail from minutes before. Dexter fell to his knees and scooped up his son and rained kisses over his cheeks and forehead. He brushed back his hair and squeezed the little body to him. Jeremy giggled and wrapped his arms around his daddy’s neck. Through his laughter Jeremy said “PU Daddy. You stinky. You need a bath.”

Dexter’s laughter played hopscotch through the sobs in his throat. “Yes, I do Buddy. Yes, I do. And I will get one soon as I can. I promise.”

Jeremy leaned back from his dad, his face somber. “We need to be quiet Daddy. We safe here but we have to be vewy hush-hush.” And put a finger on Dexter’s lips.

Dexter cocked his head as he gazed at his son. The faint blue glow around him faded some as Jeremy moved his own head to look over Dexter’s shoulder. When he did Dexter noticed how the back of Jeremy’s skull held a concavity like a brick pushed into a balloon. His hand trembled as it hovered behind his son’s now misshapen head. Dexter bit off the sob before it escaped his mouth but could not pause the racking shudder of his chest. His lips stopped the spill of bile that shot up his throat and coated the inside of his mouth.

“They a’most here Daddy. We have to be hush-hush now.” When Jeremy brought his face to Dexter’s the blue light reappeared and reformed the healthy shape of his tiny head. The dark hair on the back of his head no longer matted with blood.

Dexter swallowed the acid back to the scalding cave of his belly. He stuttered twice before asking his son who ‘they’ were.

“Dun know Daddy. But we need to sleep now. Lie down with me? Tell me the story about the moon and the bunny again? It’s my fav’rit.”

“Sure thing, Jerm. Love to.” Dexter laid down on a soft bed of leaves and pulled his son close, kissing the back of his head and inhaled the comforting scent. The branches above swayed in time with their slowing breath.