1 comment


I wish I could just go home and play video games but instead, I’m stuck here in an old creepy hotel. It all started when our grandpa won a ticket to Manta Reef from an internet ad. At first, the thought of relaxing at the best beach in the world brightens up everything.

I’m Dom Rodriguez by the way. I’m fourteen and this is my story. So anyway my mind was set on going towards Manta Reef in Halloween but there’s a catch. Not everyone has to go on an epic vacation at Manta Reef and grandpa can only bring one of us but lucky me for being the youngest in the family because obviously I was the chosen one and the next week I will fulfill my destiny. 

* * * 

      Time passed and finally, the next week came. Once we were out of the house, a man came towards us with a big smile and I mean a very big smile.

      “Good day, my friends,” The man said “I am Leonardo but you can call me Leo. Follow me, I will escort you towards Manta Reef”

      Leo led us towards a huge parking lot that I never knew of before and brought us to a black limousine.

      “Inside you go,” Leo said smiling creepily “You can take whatever food you want from the car, its part of the experience”

      Free food? I thought. Am I in heaven right now? 

      Once we got inside our mouths touched the ground. This limousine was the best vehicle that I’ve ever ridden. The seats were made of leather, golden lights decorated the ceiling, and a round hot tub at the corner but the one thing that really caught my attention was the mini-fridge. We weren’t even at Manta Reef and yet I’m already having the best time of my life. 

      A thousand desserts later and I still felt as if I’m in heaven but everything changed when our vehicle suddenly stopped.

“What happened my good man?” Grandpa asked

“The engine broke,” Leo said disappointingly “I apologize for this situation we promise to extend your stay at Manta Reef but for the meantime, we have to find somewhere else to crash”

“That’s odd” I said staring

“What’s odd?” grandpa asked as he followed my glance “Well, what do you know looks like we have a place to crash in for the night”

In front of us stood an old, creepy Victorian Hotel with three levels that we’re all made from marble. Once we stepped inside the gates of the old Victorian hotel, cold air blew that sent shivers across my back but most of all I sensed eyes watching from the darkness.

“The Last Paradise” Grandpa said

“What!?” I asked

“This place” Grandpa replied “It’s called the last paradise”

“Jeez, I wonder why they call it that” I said

“Maybe because their services are like heaven” Grandpa said

“What makes you say that!?” I said “You never even been to heaven unless you died and returned to the living. Obviously, this place is a death trap”

“Son, you must be tired” Grandpa said in concern “Maybe its best we check-in”

Instead of going through all of this I decided to just keep my mouth shut. There’s no use on arguing. 

“One room with two beds please” Grandpa said to one of the Hotel’s staff

“Oh, customers” the man said “It’s been a long time since we have real customers”

“What do you mean?” I asked 

“For years this building has been out of service due to some events. . . ” the man said

“Weird” I said

“I’m sorry what!?” the man said

“Oh sorry, did I just said that out loud?” I said “I was just talking about those cookies. It has raisins on them”


“Follow me gentlemen” the man said

The man led us through rooms of mazes going left and right, up and down we’ve been through them all. 

“Are we lost?” I asked

“No, I’m sure that this man knows what he’s doing” Grandpa answered

“It’s been a long time since I’ve walked through these halls” the man said apologetically

“Really!?” I exclaimed “For how long?”

“Centuries” the man answered

“Man, the event must be really bad what happened?” I asked

“A man tried to kill everyone at the hotel” He replied

After that, we all went silent but after hours and hours of high tension, I was finally able to break the ice.

“Did you caught the man?” I asked

“Sorry, what?” the man said

“The man who tried to murder everyone did you caught him?” I asked

“No,” the man said in a serious tone “For all I know he never left the building”

Oh no I thought this is bad. This is really bad. What if . . . 

And for the brief moment, I lose my mind but thankfully we finally arrived in our room.

“Inside you go” the man said then left

We opened the door and found two coffins inside an empty dark room. I looked for the man but he mysteriously vanished. For me, this is probably my death scene but for Grandpa. . . not so much.

“Oh” Grandpa said in delight “A Halloween themed Hotel? Fantastic”

* * *

      Time passed and I haven’t left the room yet. The thought of having a murderer inside this turned-out-Victorian-hotel was just too much to handle but what if the murderer decides to give him and Grandpa a quick visit. I hope not. 

“How about we go out and explore the hotel” Grandpa suggested

“That would be nice grandpa but I had this bad stomach ache and I don’t like to . . .” I said

“Okay” grandpa interrupted “No need for excuses I already know the consequences believe me I’ve been there”

“Hey, how’s our driver doing?” I asked

Grandpa pointed out the window and saw our driver outside still working on the engine.

“Well, I have to go exploring” Grandpa said

“Grandpa no” I said but he already left

For hours I’ve waited for his return but he never did. Did the murderer already got him or was he just playing poker against the staff but then my thought was suddenly interrupted when someone knocked on the door.

“Who’s there?” I screamed “I have a phone and I’m not afraid to call 9-1-1”

The door slung open but there was no one in there.

“I’m warning you” I said bravely but what came out was some sort of a squeak

“Dom Rodriguez” someone said in a deep raspy voice “I’ve been waiting for your arrival”

“Nope” I said rushing towards the door “I am not doing this”

Then I left to find Grandpa which was very difficult since this whole hotel is a maze but finally I found him playing poker with some of the Hotel’s staff but that’s not the only thing I found. Behind grandpa, I saw one of the staff pulling something out of his sleeves. Without hesitation, I tackled him.

“What the heck bro” the guy said

       Turns out it wasn’t actually a knife it was a bottle of wine. Who puts a bottle of wine in their sleeves?

“Sorry” I said apologetically but the murderer he’s . . . 

Before I finished, the lights began to flicker and the lights turned off completely but when the power came back on everyone was lying on the floor with blood flowing in their body.

“Oh my . . . ” I screamed 

At the corner of the hall a man in dark robes with red glowing eyes appeared out of nowhere and slowly he laughed hysterically

“Dom” he said creepily “We’ve been waiting for you”

“We?” I asked

The lights turned off for a second but when it turned back on there were hanged people at the ceiling.

“I hope you like what I did to the place “he said “I worked hard for it”

I ran towards the door but it immediately closed.

“No one’s leaving until I say so” He said and chased after me holding a knife. Behind me was nothing but laughter and the corpses of the entire staff and including my grandpa but the worse thing was the intense chase music.

“You like the tunes?” the murderer asked who was suddenly right in front of me

To me, none of it matters I quickly ran and thankfully out of the corner of my eye I saw an open door and thankfully it was the exit door and quickly I ran towards it but when I was a few inches away from the door shut with a huge bang.

“You’re not going anywhere” the murderer said approaching slowly savoring the moment “Any last words?”

Paralyzed from fear, the only thing that came out from my mouth was nothing but a dog’s whimper.

“None” the murderer continued “Here’s my last word for you---Congratulations, you passed”

“Wait, what!?” I asked

The murderer removed his hood and it revealed the face of my Grandpa.

“Grandpa!?” I said in surprise

He pulled out a remote from his sleeves and pushed one of the buttons which opened the door, and stopped the music.

“How do you explain the hanged . . .”

Before I could finish, Grandpa pressed another button and the hanged people were gone. 

“Holograms?” I said

“Holograms” he replied

“And the staff” I asked

And out of every corner of the room, people wearing the same robes came out and once their hoods we've removed the hood it all showed the faces of the entire staff.

“It was part of the ticket. I get to scare you and we get all the laughs” Grandpa said

“Oh, thank goodness” I said gratefully

* * *

Once the whole shenanigan was over it was already early in the morning and the limousine was good to go and soon we were already enjoying the nice sands of Manta Reef 

A lovely ending don’t you think? It’s nice to stop here but the story doesn’t end here. On our way back home, we were about to pass the good old Last Paradise but when we arrived there was nothing but trees.

I looked The Last Paradise on the web and it showed that it was demolished three hundred years ago after the big murderer in which all of the guests including the staff we’re murdered but still the murderer was never been found.

The End

November 02, 2019 01:25

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

1 comment

Agathe Burrier
21:56 Nov 06, 2019

Interesting read! It's a shame the prompted stories have to be relatively short, this would have been even better if you had had time to develop the creepy atmosphere and the fear of the protagonist. Still quite good!


Show 0 replies