Submitted to: Contest #306

Last Message Read

Written in response to: "Tell a story with a series of emails, calls, and/or text messages."

Drama Friendship Suspense

1:03 a.m.

Claire: is it true what I just heard?

Louie: huh?

Claire: what they're saying u did

Louie: idk what ur talking about

Claire: not doing this

Louie: good

Claire: …good?!?

Louie: don’t wanna talk to u anyway

Claire: too bad

Louie: shut your mouth

Claire: i’m the only one still on ur side

Louie: SHUT. UP. NOW.

Claire: i’m trying to HELP you

Louie: don’t. i don’t want ur help

Louie: don’t need anyone

Claire: wtf

Louie: fr

Claire: stop

Louie: u think i do, but i don’t

Claire: answer the question

Louie: go fkn screw urself

— Claire disliked a message —

Louie: dead serious

Claire: me too

Louie: 😂

Claire: wtf is funny

Louie: u think i did it

Louie: some sister u are

Claire: did u hurt that girl?

Louie: don’t

Claire: did u

Louie: i’d NEVER hurt her

Claire: was she just another hookup?

Louie: stop

Claire: WAS she?

Louie: blocking u

Claire: i’m ur SISTER

Louie: u think i care???

Claire: i’ll fly down there

Louie: my lawyer says i’ll prob be in jail by tuesday so have fun

Claire: that’s TOMORROW

Louie: it’s 1am

Claire: exactly.

Louie: who told u anyway?

Claire: someone worried abt u

Louie: joe?

Claire: maybe

Louie: imma kill him. I’m gonna really kill him.

1:10 a.m.

Claire: did u do it?

Louie: no

Louie: hurts that u think i did

Claire: her parents said u picked her up

Claire: before they found her bleeding out

Louie: we fought

Louie: not like that

Louie: we were at a bar, she threw her heel at my head n stormed off

Louie: idk who hurt her

Louie: but if i find out, i’ll end that mf

Claire: is she awake?

Louie: no, she’s not awake. Of course she’s not awake.

Claire: is she gonna…

Louie: wake up?

Claire: yeah…

Louie: idk

Louie: going to sleep

Claire: louie

Claire: LOUIE don’t—

*Missed call*

*Missed call*

*Missed call*

1:18 a.m.

Louie: i’m serious

Louie: stop

Claire: so am i

Louie: what do u want from me?

Claire: is she gonna make it

Louie: they don’t know. it’s bad

Claire: i’m sorry

Louie: why?

Claire: u sound like u really loved her

Louie: i can’t do this

Claire: did u tell the cops it wasn’t u?

Louie: YES

Louie: they don’t believe me

Louie: last thing she texted was “with louie”

Louie: some guy said he saw us in my car

Louie: i chased her when she left

Louie: bar people saw

Louie: now EVERYONE thinks it was me

Claire: i believe u

Louie: thx… doesn’t help

Claire: i’m flying out. we’ll figure this out

Louie: if she wakes up, she’ll tell em

Louie: if she doesn’t…

Claire: what?

Louie: idc what happens to me. I really don’t.

Claire: WTF?!?

Louie: i wanna sleep. That’s what I wanna do.

Claire: don’t shut me out

Louie: I’m not trying to

Clarie: then talk to me about this!!

Louie: I’m tired

Clarie: so am I… but I’m still here.

1:27 a.m.

Claire: louie… u been w/ a ton of girls

Louie: she’s not like them

Claire: what do you mean?

Louie: she’s different

Claire: how long?

Louie: 3 months

Claire: ur serious?

Louie: she’s good

Louie: like, actually good

Claire: how’d she end up w/ u then lol

Louie: no clue

Claire: u love her

Louie: if she dies i’m done

Louie: u don’t get it

Claire: we’ll fix it

Louie: i was drunk

Louie: called her something awful

Louie: that’s why she walked

Claire: oh

Louie: hate myself

Louie: feels like it’s my fault anyway

Claire: What’d u call her?

Louie: doesn’t matter

Claire: maybe it does

Louie: i can’t take it back

1:36 a.m.

Claire: i’m calling joe

Louie: i’ll throw him off the balcony

Claire: already texting him.

Louie: i wanna be alone. What part of that do u not get??

Claire: u don’t get to be alone

Louie: says who

Claire: ur big sis 😒 that’s who

Louie: i’m kinda…

Claire: ?

Louie: drunk

Claire: how much?

Louie: bottle… maybe 2

Claire: 🙃

Louie: shut up

Claire: joe’s on his way

Louie: i loved her

Claire: i know

Claire: hang in there

Louie: FOR WHAT

Claire: for HER

1:40 a.m.

Louie: her parents hate me

Louie: i hate me

Claire: stop drinking

Louie: nah

Claire: is it helping?

Louie: :) yeah

Claire: louie.

Louie: leave me alone

Claire: nope 😊

Louie: why don’t u just go away

Claire: bc i love u, idiot

Louie: why

Claire: no idea

Louie: u woulda liked her

Louie: she was like u

Louie: but nice

Claire: gee thx 😂

Louie: np

1:47 a.m.

Claire: gimme ur lawyer’s number

Louie: ask joe. he knows the prick

Claire: the prick?

Louie: he’s rich

Louie: super nice

Louie: makes me sick tbh

Claire: lol

Louie: joe sucks

Louie: imma strangle him

Claire: joe loves u like a brother

Louie: i’m gonna punch him

Claire: LOUIS 😡

Louie: i freakin

Louie: love that guy

Louie: he’s all i got

Claire: u got me too

Louie: i already ruined ur life just by being born

Claire: don’t u dare say that

Louie: it’s true

Claire: it NEVER was

Louie: mom & dad dipped

Louie: u gave up everything

Louie: and look how i turned out

Claire: go lie down

Claire: joe’s almost there

Louie: i hate joe

Claire: no u don’t

Louie: i wish i did

Claire: please

Louie: everyone i love leaves

Louie: i’m cursed

Claire: better to love and lose

Claire: than to never know love at all

Louie: where’s that from

Claire: idk

Claire: just popped in my head

Louie: sounds dumb

Claire: maybe

Claire: still true tho

1:53 a.m.

Louie: joe’s banging on the door

Louie: suing him for paint damage

Claire: go

Louie: hey

Claire: yeah?

Louie: i… care about u

Claire: lol. i know

Louie: like… i might love u

Claire: i love u too

Louie: ur my family

Claire: forever

(Last message read at 1:54 a.m.)

Posted Jun 13, 2025
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13 likes 3 comments

Ruth Rosenhek
00:55 Jun 19, 2025

I was assigned to read this through critique circle. Not sure if there is a specific format for feedback but here are my thoughts.

The story reads well. It is easy to follow. The short text messages are very realistic. As is the SMS slang.

The character development is well done. I especially liked the way the sister hangs in there no matter how much her brother tries to push her away. Clearly, they are very emotionally bonded even before they say it to each other.

I liked the variety in pacing, how sometimes one person would write 4 or 5 text messages in a row.

Sweet ending.

It's a difficult form, the text message form, and I think you told your story well.

Reply

Mary Bendickson
03:02 Jun 14, 2025

Serious stuff told quickly.

Thanks for liking 'Recipe for WOW...'

Reply

C.N. Jung
21:47 Jun 14, 2025

Thanks for reading my story! 🙂

Reply

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