Tickled Over the Dentist

April 12, 2012

“I can’t believe your mom made you invite Del Poirier!” Jen squealed from her perch on Becky’s bed as she and their friend Maddy watched Becky adorn herself with her mother’s makeup. “You think he’s ever been to a girl’s birthday party before? Or even to a girl’s house? I think he’s probably a fruit.”

“Jen!” Maddy protested from the floor, where she’d been perusing Becky’s books. “The word is ‘gay’ and so what if he is? He’s a sweet kid, and a brain, too. He’s always ruining the curve in social studies.” 

“And in French,” Becky added. “That’s why I invited him, Jen, my mom didn’t exactly make me.”

“Didn’t exactly make you?” Jen needled. “Just strongly encouraged you, did she?”

“I think her exact words were, ‘He’s the reason you didn’t flunk French, he’s earned a slice of your birthday cake,’” Becky said. “But look, she’s kind of right.”

“My point exactly,” Jen said. “He’s a great study partner, but he doesn’t belong at our party! If we have to invite boys at all, only the cool kids ought to be there. Not the nerds and especially not the fruits.”

“Our party?” Maddy snickered. “Is it your birthday, Jen?”

“Oh, you know what I mean! And I get it, he’s a nice kid, but he is just a kid. Just imagine how the other boys are gonna treat him!”

“That’s what you’re afraid of, isn’t it?” Becky spun around on her desk chair.

“He does cry easily, Bec,” Maddy said. “All the boys from his grade school say so.”

“All the boys from his grade school are a bunch of assholes,” Becky said. “They’re not invited.”

“I know, Maddy said. “But the ones who are invited - I mean, just Kenny alone, Bec.”

“Kenny!” Jen shrieked, throwing herself back on the mattress. “Oh, he’s so cute! And he always asks me to dance!”

“You know how he treats most of the other boys, though, don’t you?” Maddy asked. “And you too, Becky, you must’ve noticed that.”

“Kenny Lampson?” Becky asked. “He’s a great guy!”

“With us he is,” Maddy said. “Next time you see him talking to any boy who isn’t in with our gang, just watch. I wonder if Del even knows who else is coming?”

“The little fruit would never come here if he did,” Jen chortled. Then she sat up. “Say, Bec, maybe he’ll be smart and not come?”

Becky snapped her mother’s compact shut and stood up. “He already told me he is coming, and he knows how to handle bullies.”

“He’s had enough practice at it, that’s for sure,” Jen said. 

Becky sighed and opened the door. “Could you go downstairs now? Time to change into my dress.”

“Not the ugly fuchsia one?” Jen asked as Maddy left the room with a nod and without a word. 

“The blue one, if you must know,” Becky said.

“Wow, the birthday girl’s a ray of sunshine, huh?” Jen asked Maddy as they made their way down the stairs. 

“Maybe we ought to try to get to know Del better too,” Maddy said. 

Jen didn’t answer, and was still laughing when they got to the bottom of the stairs, where Becky’s kid sister Ivy was playing with Legos in the foyer. 

Ivy looked up. “Where’s the princess?” she sneered. 

“Ivy!” said her mother, coming in from the kitchen. “What did I tell you about behaving yourself while Becky’s friends are here?”

Ivy looked at the floor. “You said we could go out for dinner after the dentist next week if I didn’t make any trouble.”

“You’re not off to a good start, dear.”

“Sorry.” Ivy looked ready to cry, but she busied herself with the Legos and said nothing more. 

“Where is Becky?” Mrs. Litton asked Jen and Maddy.

“Just getting dressed, Mrs. Litton,” Maddy said. “Do you need any help setting up?”

“Yes, please,” she said. Maddy dutifully followed her to the kitchen, and Jen reluctantly turned and followed. 

When they got back to the living room, Becky was looking resplendent in the promised blue dress when Sandy and Marcia arrived. Jen gave them a too-long hug each, and then lost no time in claiming the coveted armchair by the TV set. “Well, don’t you all look lovely!” declared Grandma Pappas as she set down the cups on the coffee table. “Who wants something to drink?”

“Shouldn’t we wait for the boys, Grandma?” Becky asked. 

“I wouldn’t,” Marcia declared, causing a ripple of laughter from her friends.

“Mrs. Litton, are you going to embarrass Becky with stories of the day she was born?” asked Sandy. 

“Well, I don’t remember much about that day except the hospital,” Mrs. Litton said. 

“What day?” asked Mr. Litton, arriving from the kitchen. “Hi, girls.”

“The day Becky was born,” Mrs. Litton said. “You probably remember a little more than I do about the outside world that day, dear.”

“April 12, 1998,” Mr. Litton said. “Well, we were busy doing the macarena when your mother went into labor…”

The girls were still laughing uproariously when the doorbell rang again. Mr. Litton answered it. “Del!” he said. “Welcome!”

The room went silent at the mention of that name, and Del’s polite “Thank you, Mr. Litton” rang out as the girls’ awkward, shy classmate stepped inside. He was dressed as nicely as they’d ever seen him, in ironed black trousers and a crisp white shirt and obviously just-shined shoes - a perfect counterpart to the girls in their party dresses, but none of them had expected that of any of the boys. 

“How’d he get invited?” Marcia dared mutter under her breath, while Sandy gave Becky a look that fairly screamed the same question. 

“Hi, Del!” Becky jumped to her feet. “You’re looking really good!”

“Thanks!” Del gave her a goofy smile. “Hap…happy birthday!” He held out what looked like a book swathed in flashy silver wrapping paper.

“Thank you, Del.” She took the heavy gift and set it down alongside the others just inside the living room doorway.

As Becky smoothed out her dress and sat back down on the couch, Del stepped into the room and looked for a safe place to sit. 

“We don’t bite, Del,” said Marcia. “Have a seat!”

Del laughed and helped himself to a seat on the far end of the second couch, beside Sandy, who smiled hello. “Sorry!” he said. “I just…”

“Del, would you like some diet coke?” asked Mrs. Litton.

“Yes please!” 

“Can you teach Becky how to ask in French?” added Mr. Litton as the girls also accepted the plastic cups. 

Everyone laughed including Del. “Oh, she knows how to say that, Mr. Litton,” Del said. “Remember when we had the chapter on ordering at a restaurant?”

“First test I got over a C on, I think,” Becky said. “Merci, Del.”

“From all of us!” added her mother. 

“Do you do tutoring in math, too?” asked Sandy.

“Oof, that’s my worst class!” Del said. “You have Mrs. Barton too, don’t you?”

“Yes, and I think she hates me!” Sandy said. 

“Nah, she hates us all!” Del said. “I already decided, though, once I get to college, no more math! I’m gonna major in French.”

“Thinking of college already, Del?” asked Maddy. “God, I’d better not let my parents hear you!”

Becky sighed with relief. She had, for the moment, forgotten what might happen when the other boys arrived. 

Scarcely a minute later, they did arrive. Jimmy, Justin, David and Mike all arrived at once in a rush of denim jackets and gruff greetings. “Were you hanging out together before you came here?” Jen asked.

“Wouldn’t you like to know!” Jimmy said. 

“Guy stuff,” David added. “You wouldn’t want to be there anyway.” 

Del sat quietly through the hellos the boys exchanged with everyone else, as if willing himself to withstand some assault. It didn’t come directly, but Mike did ask, “What’s Del doing here?”

“He’s my friend and it’s my birthday.” Becky proclaimed. 

“Is the gang all here?” asked Mrs. Litton, setting her laptop on the TV set with Becky’s playlist ready to go.

“All but Kenny, Mom.”

“You invited that loser?” Justin interjected. 

“Loser?” David replied. “Kenny’s awesome! He’s hilarious.”

“He’s an obnoxious little -” Justin began, and Becky couldn’t resist a glance at Del.

“Guys, it’s Becky’s party!” Jen reminded them all again. “If you don’t like Kenny, leave him alone. He’ll do the same for you.” 

“I wish,” Del said under his breath.

Several minutes of chatting followed, with Del mostly looking on in silence - not unlike the moments before a teacher arrived in class. Grandma Pappas took note of this and made her way to Del’s end of the couch. “I’m not big on small talk either, you know,” she told Del. “Not when I was your age, and not now!”

“I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one,” Del said. “Everyone says I’m too quiet, but I always say it’s just that I wait until I’ve got something to say, you know?”

“That’s a wonderful attitude, Del. But I do hope you’ll join in when they start dancing later.”

“I guess I should,” Del said.

The doorbell rang again. It was the pizzas, and Del got up and waited his turn along with the girls, while the boys jockeyed for first choice.

The doorbell rang again just as the adults were finally getting their turn at the pizzas. Little Ivy took it upon herself to open the door.

In stepped Kenny Lampson. “Hey, shrimp,” he said. 

“My name is Ivy!” Ivy protested.

Jen was the first to notice when Kenny - shorter than most of the boys, but with a hip haircut that put them to shame and dressed more stylishly than anyone else in the room, stepped into the party. “Kenny!” she exclaimed. “So glad you made it!”

“But you’re late,” Marcia said.

“What kind of loser comes to a party early?” Kenny said with the grin that had been letting him get away with murder with the girls since grade school. Then just as quickly he turned his attention back to the girls. “So, Becky, what did you get me?” They all laughed as he pulled a small wrapped package out of his coat pocket. 

“Pizza, but you’d better hurry up,” Becky replied.

Kenny stepped up to the table with the pizzas and took a slice, and only then noticed the party’s quietest attendee. “Del,” he sneered, eyeing him up and down. “Nerd material!”

“Nice to see you too, Kenny,” Del said with a smile. 

“Can’t say the same about you.” Kenny took a bit of pizza and continued with his mouth full. “Don’t come near me, all afternoon, you got that?”

Jen laughed. Everyone else looked everywhere but at Kenny. Del looked stoic.

Mrs. Litton gave her daughter a stern look, and Becky got the hint and spoke up. “Let’s finish the pizza!” she said. “There’s cake and we don’t want it just sitting there all afternoon.”

But Kenny wasn’t done. Out in the kitchen for the birthday cake, he spotted Del looking at the Littons’ new and fancy oven. He said, “Now’s your chance, Del! Stick your head in there!”

Jen overheard him and burst out laughing. “Kenny, you are too cute!” she gushed. 

“Who said I was joking?” Kenny replied. Jen laughed harder. 

Del collected his slice of cake and thanked Mrs. Litton, and joined the others on the back deck. 

Ivy was allowed outside for cake and to watch Becky open her presents. As Becky took the seat of honor in a lawn-chair next to the presents, she was also pleased to see some of the other guys finally chatting with Del.

Kenny’s present, smallest and last, was on top. It was a 3-pack of some sort of razor. Becky didn’t realize what kind until she noticed the pink bubble-letters across the top. “EYEBROW RAZORS”, they declared for all her friends to see. 

Even the boys were silent.

“I heard you telling Jen once how you’re sick of plucking your eyebrows,” Kenny said.

A few of Becky’s friends let out awkward, fake laughs. Becky remembered her manners and smiled. “Thank you, Kenny.”

The other gifts were nice enough, although she wondered if her mother would let her keep the makeup kit Sandy had given her. The only one that surprised her was Del’s, an illustrated Jack London anthology. “Oh my God, Del! You remembered!” Becky gushed. 

“Remembered what, dear?” asked her mother. 

“We read ‘To Build a Fire’ in English last year and I loved it, and I told Del once I really wanted to read some more of his stories, but…” Her voice trailed away as there was no nice way to tell her parents, “But I didn’t think you’d want me reading stuff like that. Del, thank you! How’d you remember that?”

“I don’t know,” Del said. “I just did.”

“I just did,” Kenny mimicked. “Loser.”

“Cool it, man!” Mike said. “He may be a nerd, but that is a great present.” 

“Yeah, and who gives a girl a razor anyway?” Justin added. 

“And last but not least,” said Mr. Litton, handing Becky a rolled-up sheet of construction paper, “A little something from your sister.”

“It’s a big something!” Ivy corrected. “I worked hard on it!”

Becky unrolled the paper, to reveal a very colorful collage of smiling faces and bright clothes. “Oh, it’s all of us!” Becky exclaimed, holding up the painting for all to see, and never betraying that her parents had told her in advance what it was. “Ivy, it’s beautiful, thank you!  Just one question, why didn’t you add yourself to the picture?”

“Because I wasn’t sure what I’d look like after the dentist,” Ivy said. 

“Oh, you’ll look exactly the same,” Grandma Pappas said. “We told you that before, darling.”

“If I’m lucky,” Ivy said. “What if they have to pull a tooth?”

“They won’t pull it, they’ll drill it!” Kenny chortled. “And dentist’s drills are huge! You ever seen one?” He spread his arms wide.

Ivy clamped both hands over her mouth and burst into tears. Her parents glared at Kenny. So did most of the other kids.

 “Ivy, that’s not true!” Del spoke up, and he crouched down and hugged her until she stopped sobbing. “You know, I was afraid of the dentist too when I was your age.”

 “You were? Did it hurt?”

“Not at all,” Del said. “You know what did hurt? My mother was angry at me because I cried at the dentist’s. But I wasn’t crying because it hurt!”

“What was it, then?” Ivy sniffled. 

“Well, the dentist wanted to show me it wouldn’t hurt. So he wrote my name on my fingernails with his tool.” He held up three fingers. “D-E-L. Then when he was done, he asked, that didn’t hurt, did it? I said no, it only tickled a little. And he said, ‘Now I’m gonna tickle your teeth like I tickled your fingernails,' and that’s when I started crying. My mom grabbed me and all the way home she told me what a baby I was for crying when he’d already shown me it wouldn’t hurt.”

“But why were you crying, Del, if it wasn’t that?” Ivy asked. 

“I was crying because I thought he meant he was going to write my name on my teeth!”

Everyone except Kenny laughed, and Del got a hearty thank-you from the adults. Even the boys were impressed. “Man, that was a stroke of genius,” said Jimmy. 

“Great job,” agreed David. “I didn’t know you were so funny.”

“So you’re a loser and a liar,” Kenny sneered at him.

“It really happened,” Del said without looking at Kenny.

“We all knew you were a crybaby,” Kenny needled.

“Maybe I was, but I never picked on anyone’s kid sister.”

Kenny was on the small side, but everyone knew Del didn’t hit back. He hauled off and punched Del in the mouth, sending him sprawling off the deck. Del landed in the grass and managed to find his footing before he fell down. But Kenny wasn’t done. “You gonna show me up, nerd, you’re gonna pay for it!” He gave Del another shove. 

Del opted for the moment to wait for Becky’s father to break up the fight. He didn’t. Instead he said, “Get him, Del!”

As Kenny helped himself to a slap across Del’s face, Del got further encouragement from the last person he’d have expected it from: Grandma Pappas. “Go on, Del, kick the shit out of him!”

Del threw the first punch of his life. It landed cleanly on Kenny’s shoulder and, though it made Kenny wince, it didn’t stop him. “You think you can take me, nerd?”

The karate lessons from phys ed were a while ago now, but Del remembered what the teacher had said about using the attacker’s weight against him. Del blocked Kenny’s punch with his right arm and shoved him with his left, tripping him when he stumbled backwards.  Kenny fell on his back in the grass, and Del jumped onto his chest and punched him in the face.

“Ow! All right! Stop!” Kenny whined, drawing both hands up to his nose. He pulled them away to find blood on them. 

As Del stood up without another word and walked back to the deck, Jen said, “I’ve always said one day someone would push him too far. Like my mom says, the church mouse roars, sooner or later.” 

“You’ve never said that, Jen!” Maddy snapped.

Becky, more than happy to have been forgotten for the moment, looked at her sister. Ivy showed no sign of even remembering Kenny’s teasing about the dentist. She turned to Del, whom her mother was busy dabbling with a warm washcloth and showering with praise.

When that was done, Becky threw her arms around him. “Del, I hope someday I can repay you for this!”