Maybe In Another Life...

I often thought about what would happen if things were different for me. If I had been born into a different family if I hadn’t fallen for who I did if I wasn’t me. I would love to say that my life was all sunshine and rainbows but that was hardly the truth. I had an alcoholic mother and a father who was in jail. My girlfriend of five years had cheated on me with my best friend and I was a college dropout with a minimum-wage job and no future plans. I often thought about how badly life had turned out for me as I struggled to sleep at night. I was diagnosed with insomnia at the age of seventeen. Normally, it was a miracle if I was able to get more than two hours of sleep a night. Tonight was no different as I laid on my crappy bed, in my crappy apartment, located in my crappy town. Maybe in another life, things would be different…

    I awoke with a start and looked around. I wasn’t lying in my bed. I was in a very comfy bed in a very nice room. Someone opened the door to the room and entered. She was a gorgeous woman with bright blonde hair and a gorgeous body. She was wearing a tight yellow dress and sat at the edge of my bed.

“I made breakfast for you. I wanted to bring you it in bed.” The girl said in a cheery voice. She handed me a plate with eggs and pancakes on it. She kissed me and her lips were soft and she tasted like sweet strawberry lemonade. I hummed in delight. I loved strawberry lemonade. I cut up my pancakes and took a bite of one. It was the fluffiest, tastiest, pancake I'd ever eaten in my life. I shoveled the pancakes into my mouth and wolfed down the eggs as well. “By the way, don’t forget that your parents are coming over to help plan our wedding.” I choked a little bit on my pancakes. 

“My parents are coming over to plan our wedding?” I asked and she giggled. She kissed my cheek and stood up.

“You are so forgetful. It’s a miracle you even remember we’re getting married.” I wanted to say that I didn’t know who she even was let alone that we were getting married. For some reason, I didn’t. She grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt out of a drawer in the dresser that was against the opposite wall. She placed them nicely onto the bed. “Get dressed and come downstairs. They’ll be here any minute now.” She walked out of the room. I was so confused about what was happening but decided to just go with it. I looked at the clothes and she had laid out a pair of black dress pants and a white polo. That was the opposite of what I’d normally wear. I just got dressed and exited the room. The house I was in was extremely nice. There was a long hallway leading to stairs that had windows on either side. I walked over to one of the windows and looked out. I was not in my crappy town. I was in a cull de sac where every house looked the same and were extremely nice. I heard the front door open and my assumed fiancé greeted whoever had entered in the same cheery voice she’d greeted me with. I walked down the stairs looking at all the photos lining the walls. I was in almost everyone but didn’t recognize anyone else in the photos. I made it to the bottom of the stairs and saw the two people who had entered the house. 

“Hello, baby! I am so excited to start organizing your wedding!” The woman came over to me and hugged me and kissed my cheek. I assumed she was supposed to be my mother. My assumed father stood up from the couch and looked at me.

“My son, getting married. Never thought I’d see the day.” He said. He didn’t look like my dad. The woman didn’t look like my mom. My dad was skinny and had a rough beard and was covered in tattoos and, most importantly, was in prison. This man had a larger build and looked very proper in his button-down and tie and dress pants. He didn’t seem to have any tattoos and his face was clean-shaven. My mom was short and had thinning hair and was constantly drunk. The woman who had hugged me looked as if she scoffed at the idea of drinking anything besides fancy wine. This house looked like it only held fancy wine and expensive scotch. I pinched my side to see if I’d wake up but nothing changed. I followed my “mother” to the living area and sat on a couch across from the one they were sitting on. My girlfriend sat down and kind of elbowed me in the side. I looked at her and she gestured to a cart that had drinks on it in the corner. Of course, they had a drink cart.

“Would you guys like a drink?” I asked and stood. I figured I might as well play the part and see how this went. 

“I will take a white wine.” My “mother” said and I laughed in my head. Just as I had thought.

“Just a scotch for me.” My “father” said and I had to stop myself from actually laughing. They were extremely predictable. 

“Uh, would you like a drink hun?” I asked the woman I was going to be marrying and she got up with me and walked over. 

“Let me help you. You are terrible at mixing drinks and I’m really craving a mimosa.” The mimosa surprised me a little. We both stood at the cart and made our drinks. “I love you so much, babe.” I looked at her and smiled. I could tell she genuinely did by her tone. I wish I could feel that right now. I wished so badly.

“I love you, darling.” I may have not meant it but I was going to attempt to kind of feel something. Even if this was just some sort of fever dream. I could at least enjoy it for the time being. We both grabbed two drinks, I poured myself a scotch, and we took them over to the couches and handed them to my “parents”. We sat together and my “fiancé” wrapped her arm around my arm. 

“So, are you two thinking of having children?” My “mother” asked. I chuckled a little bit at the question. That was such a mom thing to ask.

“Actually, I would love to have children. It’s just convincing your stubborn son.” My “fiancé” asked and they all laughed. I smiled. That part was right, I wasn’t a big fan of children and hadn’t wanted kids. I could see myself maybe having one or two in this life. They could have a good life here. 

“I actually would love to have maybe one or two children. In the far future, though.” I said, looking at my “fiancé” and she smiled so widely. That instantly put a smile on my face. I loved her smile so much. 

“Really?” She asked, eagerly and I nodded. She beamed and we turned back to my “parents” and they were smiling as well. 

“You guys are such an adorable couple!” My “mother” exclaimed. She clapped her hands together and reached into her large purse. “So, let’s start planning this wedding.” She tossed a binder onto the coffee table and opened it to the first page. This was going to be a long day. 

    We spent three hours talking about flowers, table arrangements, dresses, suits, all of it. Finally, when my “father” and I seemed completely uninterested, they sent us away and we decided to take a walk. We walked around the block in silence for about ten minutes before my “father” spoke up. 

“I’m proud of you. You really are making something of yourself. Assistant manager of a big company, living in a nice house, about to marry a nice girl. I am extremely proud.” I looked at him and smiled. My dad had never said anything like that to me. That could be because he was never present in my life but it felt amazing to hear. 

“Thank you, Dad.” I nearly teared up as I said it. I hadn’t called anyone's dad since I was in seventh grade. I always referred to my dad by his first name because we really weren’t close or anything and I didn’t respect him at all. We walked the rest of the way in silence and then made our way back to the house. The girls were still making wedding plans so I decided to make us some sandwiches for lunch. 

    We ate lunch together and spent another two hours planning things for the wedding. I mostly sat there and agreed to whatever my “fiancé” wanted. After they were done, my “parents” left and my “fiancé” and I sat on the couch cuddling. It felt so nice but I was getting so tired. I wanted to close my eyes but didn’t want this to end. It was so amazing. I had parents who genuinely cared, a fiancé who loved me, an amazing house, and an amazing life. I didn’t want it to end. I started crying a little bit and my “fiancé” sat up and placed a hand on my face.

“What is it, baby? What’s wrong?” She asked and I placed my hand on hers. 

“I don’t want this to end. Please make it real. Please, I don't want it to end.” Then I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

    I woke up and looked around. Tears were streaming down my face. I was back on my crappy bed, in my crappy apartment, in my crappy town. My fiancé was gone, my parents were gone, everything I wanted was gone. I placed my head in my hands and cried. I desperately wanted it to be real.