5 comments

Creative Nonfiction Science Fiction Suspense

Theodore, a therapist, has the power to enter into his subconscious. He can review memories he long forgotten as well as recent ones he just made. Working as a therapist, he can also bring others into his mind if they are connected to him by touch, emotion, or through experience. However, the longer Theodore stays in his subconscious there is the danger of him being trapped there. Being aware of this fact made Theodore's job all the more dangerous.

He has a patient who believes himself to be a killer. His name is Asher and he recently got into an accident. Upon waking up in the hospital, he witnessed someone in the bed next to his own being removed. He concluded the person was someone in the same accident with him and they did not survive. He doesn't remember that night, only through flashes does he recall little details.

There is heavy rain, with thunder rumbling in the distance. He's running from someone or something. Lightning strikes nearby as Asher trips in the mud. He turns to face who was chasing him, putting up his hand in defense, when all fades away at that point.

Asher believes he killed the person in his hospital room and because everyone is pitying him, they won't admit it. His lawyer suggests if he really did kill someone, it would be best for him to revisit his memories to learn the truth of the night. Otherwise people would only look at him as a mental patient that just survived some horrific accident and was traumatized. Asher agreed and made a visit to Theodore, who is known for solving multiple cases, using his subconscious mind as a blank sheet for others to tell their story. Asher, a young man with wavy deep-sea green shoulder-length hair, dressed in an ivory ruffled shirt and black pants.

When he expressed his concern to Theodore, he begged him to take his case. However, Theodore is hesitant, and thinks it over carefully. He was warned by his bosses to take a break from using his powers so often to avoid being unable to undo the damage. When hearing the young man's cries though, Theodore could not ignore it any longer. He agreed to take his case and would work with him to uncover the truth. Asher is relieved hearing that and they immediately get to work to figure it out. Theodore connects with Asher on how desperate and sincere he felt to find the truth. His feelings of wanting to right the wrong he might've done is strong enough Theodore could feel it. When the two connected, Theodore and Asher awoke inside Theodore's mind.

All around them is a static field of emptiness with the ground below them materializing upon Theodore's arrival. Asher is completely stunned by what he sees. Theodore doesn't waste time telling Asher they are there for a limited time, as he can't guarantee they'll be able to return to the outside world. Understanding this, Asher concentrates solely on revisiting the memory; what he could remember, and let it play out for what it was. Asher and Theodore watched as the world around them reshaped itself to display Asher's memory.

It was a cold wet day, the sky was roaring with life as thunder rumbled and lightning strikes. The clouds were draining rain, drenching the world in a heavy shower. Asher's breathing is uneven as he is running. It's so dark he can hardly see in front of him. He is running through a narrow street, looking behind him occasionally as if he was being chased. Lighting strikes nearby, causing Asher to get startled, and trips in the mud. He turns to face someone who is chasing him, putting his hand up in defense when he is struck by lightning. His body trembles under the electric circuit going through him, and like a lighting rod, his hand shoots out lighting towards his pursuer, causing them both to collapse. A bright flash of lighting reveals to Asher that it was someone he knew trying to get his attention. Asher drops to his knees now, knowing the reason for the person's death and why he himself blacked out. He became a human lightning rod after being struck by lightning, killing his friend, who was nearby.

While it was true there were those with powers at birth, there were also those who did not receive their powers till much later, if at all. Asher hadn't received his power until that day and thought of himself as an ordinary person. So upon discovering his new powers, he felt guilty and ashamed. To gain something as important as powers were in their day and age, he had to lose something he treasured. Theodore returns the world to its static form to comfort Asher who learned he was no killer by nature. Theodore reminded Asher that even though his friend is gone, as long as he is remembered within our minds and hearts he will never truly disappear from the world or die. Asher feels a little at peace by Theodore's words, but is still upset about the truth. After some time to calm his mind, Asher tells Theodore he's going to enroll in classes to learn how to better control and use his new powers. Theodore is pleased to hear this and they return to their real world to conclude the session as a success.

Elsewhere, an individual is constantly checking a heart monitor as it shows signs that Theodore is still alive. His pulse begins to stabilize after a moment of it increasing irregularly. A man there is dressed in a lab coat, brown slacks and a teal shirt jotting down notes. His report is based solely on Theodore's activities. Theodore being a man in his late 40s had short brown hair, wore a velvet turtleneck and a pair of blue jeans. He has been unconscious for 10 years now after taking on a case. The patient had died from lack of nutrition by the time they were found, and as a result Theodore was on death's door. Unfortunately, no one knew exactly what went on in Theodore's mind, as finding people with mind management related powers was difficult and, in some cases, impossible.

Theodore was warned before his last case that if he used his powers anymore without rest he could risk the chance of being entrapped in his own mind. Unable to turn down the pleading man before him, Theodore accepted the case, and both were trapped in his mind. The man, unable to survive without proper care, withered and died before Theodore, who's body had adapted to long periods of fasting. Because of Theodore's power, the government wanted to preserve Theodore as much as they could until they could find a way to either transfer his powers or wake him from his eternal slumber.

The End.

October 11, 2022 00:12

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5 comments

Susan Catucci
17:16 Oct 22, 2022

I understand - I write because I enjoy it so much, I have no choice but to give it all I have. And I admit, without feedback, especially in a forum like this one which is geared for it, it can leave you guessing. We do it because we love the written word and it's up to us to believe in what we're doing, with or without the praise or criticism - certainly not for the weak of heart. And I, for one, would like to see what you come up with next.

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Ruby Pix
17:42 Oct 22, 2022

Oh my gosh, you are so right! Thank you! I know with writing it's easy to be to confident at first, before feeling the anxious creeping in. But after hearing your comment I feel better. I will continue to do my best and give it my all!

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Susan Catucci
17:51 Oct 20, 2022

I really enjoyed this. There's a lot to this story you that managed to convey quite completely within the tight constraints of the amount of words you used. It seemed so much larger than a short story. No waste and tons of substance. Really good!

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Ruby Pix
18:01 Oct 20, 2022

Oh wow, thank you so much! That means so much. I try really hard and sometimes it's hard to know if the story and all is good when I don't get too much feed back. So this made my day. I'll keep working hard and thank you again.

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Trebor Mack
00:49 Oct 16, 2022

I read this story twice, but, sorry, I couldn't make head nor sense of it.

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