Her

The alarm went off as it did every morning at 5:30; a sound he loved and dreaded at the same time. It was time to get to work, but four hours of sleep a night was tough to live on. The weekend was coming though. He could finally see her, go on Bill’s boat for a few hours on Sunday and relax. “Only to start it all over again on Monday,” he thought to himself. 

As he started his daily five mile run, he began contemplating life. It definitely was lonely at the top. As the Senior VP of Overseas Operations, managing $6M in business every month across four separate units, 15 countries and 5,000 people was not what he expected. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done, and he was starting to wonder if the mega salary and bonus were worth it. He wondered if it were possible to get off the hamster wheel and settle down. He had been working since he was 15. This is what he did, this is who he was. He had grown his career to be everything he wanted. And, now that he had met her, he could truly have it all.

The train ride into the city allowed him time to reflect each morning. He used to take the 6:30 train because it was not crowded. He could take the time to plan his day, returning calls that only required voicemail messages, emails that came in overnight from Hong Kong, and setting his calendar before walking into the office at precisely 7:25. But, a fateful morning last fall changed everything for him.

The 7:30 train is where he first saw her. It was a fluke really. He was running late because his neighbor’s cat got out, and she was distraught. He might have been a workaholic, but he was not heartless. Yes, Emma was nice enough as a neighbor. They had gone out a couple of times for drinks, but it would never work. She was a writer, or an actress, or something that couldn’t possibly make her any money. She had no drive, no ambition. She could never be his partner in life - in bed, sure, but not in life. They were still cordial to each other in the hallway, but it was uncomfortable. They found Cuddles under the stairwell chasing a bug. An hour later, he was finally on his way. He would conduct his 7:30 staff meeting virtually on the train, call his assistant Stephanie to move the rest of his calendar around as much as possible, and the day would not be a total loss. Little did he know that while he would dial in to the call, he would be completely distracted during it.

She was loudly negotiating a contract that morning. No one seemed to pay her much attention though, because everyone was focused on their own business. He was thankful for the existing buzz, “By the time Staff is done, I’ll be walking into my office. No harm. No foul.” But, he couldn’t help notice her perfectly pressed, gray suit contrasting against her glossy, red hair. Her hands waving wildly as she told the person on the other end of the phone, “Are you kidding me? That is not acceptable as a starting point!” She was a force to be reckoned with, a force he had never encountered before. They made eye contact. She smiled. He was hooked. 

He continued taking the 7:30 train just to see her; purposely moving his staff meeting back to 8:30 to do so. He learned that she was a corporate attorney for a large advertising agency. Each morning they would share their previous day’s experiences asking for each other’s advice, sometimes laughing about an outrageous request from a vendor or associate. She worked on Park Ave, he was in midtown. They only had 40 minutes together, but it was the best 40 minutes of his day. Winter was magnificent because she would edge closer to him to keep warm all the while enthusiastically describing her latest conquest. Her energy was all he needed to start his day. She made him better. They started meeting for lunch once a week in the spring, her red hair gleaming in the sun. When she agreed to meet him for dinner and drinks after work, he knew this was it. He wanted to take their relationship further. Bill’s boat this weekend, fly down to the Key’s next weekend, plan a trip to Paris in the summer. This relationship would be everything for both of them. Two hardworking people together reaping the fruits of their hard earned labor. They would be the ultimate power couple. 

Before her, all of his other relationships seemed to start and end the same way. Boy likes girl, girl agrees to go out with boy, fast forward to drinks, they sleep together and eventually one or both of them lose interest. It’s a cycle that started in high school. Megan was a great girl, captain of the cheer squad, incredibly good looking, and willing to follow him to Georgetown for college. She became too clingy, and they broke up after the first semester. He met Sophie his senior year. She was great too, but he lost interest when she started spending more time on her honors thesis than with him. After graduation, he and Bill had some fun picking up girls at bars, but one night stands really weren’t his thing. He met Lisa that way, but she turned out to be a cheating psychopath one year into the relationship. This one though, this woman, she was different. She was on his level. She understood his priorities. She was just as focused on her career as he was. She was driven, beautiful, successful and talented. She was different, yet everything he was missing in his life.

Over drinks, they talked about work, family, and friends that had been so important but somehow never stayed close. During dinner, they got deep into conversation about the future. This was it. This was the time for him to tell her how he felt. “I just don’t have room for anything else in my life right now. It’s why I love what we have. No expectations. No rules. We meet up or we don’t. It’s easy and perfect, right?” He was crushed. They were not on the same page like he thought they were. They were not meant to be partners in life. He nodded in agreement, thinking of a reason to leave, actively seeking a way out of that restaurant.

After dinner, they walked silently down the street together. He ‘remembered’ something that he left at the office. “OK, see you tomorrow,” she winked and kissed him on the cheek. He vowed to never take that 7:30 train again, and as he walked downtrodden toward his office, he thought, “Will I ever find love? Am I destined to be alone forever? What is wrong with me?”