Christmas Eve

I was sitting on the bench near the railings of the cruise ship I am in. The breeze of cold air touches my skin. The near calendar strikes to December 24, 2020. It was nearly Christmas Eve already. I released a deep sigh as I saddened myself with the thought of my family in the Philippines. It’s been five times already that I will celebrate my Christmas away from my happiness, my family. I stood up and went to the railings to feel the coldness of the air as it fits the sadness of my heart. I took out my phone because the vibration intervenes my forlorn. I excitedly opened the message hoping that it was coming from them. The sadness doubled up when it was my crew mate telling me that the celebration was about to start. Again, a deep sigh was only my companion.

As the celebration goes along, a dull smile and laughter from me vibes with their ecstatic and ear-wrecking happiness. I cannot really be truly happy because I am not able to talk with my wife and children this Christmas Eve.

Countdown commenced. And as the timer says it’s 30 seconds before Christmas, my phone vibrates. I nonchalantly get it out my pocket but to my surprise, it was my wife! I answered the video call and tears are approaching to fall when I saw all of them on the opposite end. My wife, my children, my parents and siblings, and my wife’s parents. They are all complete reciting the countdown with us. The time slowly ticks and turns. It feels like could 9 in every second which counts.

 It goes…

10… smiles are everywhere.

My children, my wife, my parents, my in-laws, my family. They are all smiling at me. Bliss and paradise- the feeling which I am in.

9… My children looks so excited as they utter their I love you’s.

It sounds music to my ear. I feel like floating. I feel like they are with me at the very moment.

8… Happiness envelopes my soul.

This is what I long to feel hours ago but here I am now, the happiness is overflowing.

7… I can see my children’s smile as they see me.

The long years of being away with them was gone. I blink and blink as I feel the warm tears approaching to fall.

6… All I can hear are their laughter and voices.

Those are all melodies to my ear. I love every second that ticks.

 5… My parents and hers look excited, too.

I love them very much. I dearly love them all.

4… I do not bother my surroundings.

I focus on them. Smile was drawn on my face.

3… Here it is, here we are, sticking together, through thick and thin.

2… Confetti explodes earlier together with my tears.

I love everyone of them, I love being one of them. I cannot contain the happiness I feel because I celebrated the Christmas Eve along with their presence. I love you’s from the other line fill my ear. This scenario is what I am waiting hours ago. The sadness was taken away with just one call. This time, I can already sense the presence Christmas with me and where I am. I can already feel the true meaning that this season brings. The joy, the laughter, the stories they tell, the excitement, the virtual hugs and kisses, the I love yous and their eagerness to make me feel that even I am alone, they are still there willing to give me their warm embraces, their loves. The noise that makes me irritated and sad a while ago became music to my ear. The dull smile became the most beautiful smile I can ever give.

They are far yet feels so near. I love being their man. I love being the anchor gripping and holding their hopes of better future. I love this Christmas.

1… A bullet from nowhere left me unconscious.

(wife from the Philippines point of view)

1… (hears a gunshot)

We are all bothered as the video calling was interrupted by a gunshot. All we can see is a pitch black screen and men shouting for my husband’s name. “What happened?” We are enveloped with fear instead of happiness for the celebration of Christmas day. We waited for a call but to no avail. I nonchalantly sit and went black.

“Carlo…” A crew mate interrupts me from reminiscing the saddest part of life.

It was 2 years ago when that incident happened. Same day, same hour, same celebration. The culprit was still in prison. It is only because of the presence of alcohol. He accidentally pull the trigger and left me unconscious for about 4 months but here I am again, aboard a cruise ship, starting my life as a seafarer. It feels like back to the very beginning. It is only less than a month which I decided to work again and now, it is Christmas eve again. My wife called me over the phone and we celebrated it like there’s nothing happened.

The celebration of Christmas Eve was over. I closed my eyes and slept.

7 am. I opened my eyes and feels so energetic to face this Christmas Day with great valor and enthusiasm. We are acknowledged to celebrate this day out of work. Instead of going out and have fun with my crew mate, I sat in my cabin and dialed a number. After some rings, my youngest daughter answers the phone excitingly. I would rather sit here and talk to each of them the whole day than mingle and have fun without them. They are my happiness. They are my safe haven. Karil, my youngest, joyfully tells me and recounts all the gifts and money she had received last Christmas Eve. Bienne, my eldest, laughs and hugs her as she talks simultaneously on the other line. She gladly recalls the bliss she felt when she got the highest score in their English test. I can saw my wife at their back preparing something for breakfast. I can imagine the taste of her cooking. She was a lovely wife who gave wonderful children. I cannot wait for the moment I will come to embrace them again and shower them kisses. It will be a week for now. It made me thrilled and excited thinking that I will spend my whole month caressed with their sweetness and hugs.

A call from my crew mate interferes my moment with them. I bade with them goodbye and promised to call after.