A Letter to my Past Lover

Thanks a lot, Theo,

Sorry for writing so late; I know it has been three years since we last talked. I still remember you and have flashbacks of our little memories. You’ve probably have sent me so many letters, and I might not have received them, or it is just so hard for me to open them. I haven’t forgotten you, Theo, so don’t worry. I will be honest, I do miss you a lot, sometimes I wish you got to stay with me until the holidays, so I had more memories of us. 

Remember the promise I made you? I know I promised you to go to London and visit you, but sadly, things happened, and I couldn’t go, and I’m sorry for breaking a promise that you were so happy to hear. So don’t be sad now; I will make you a new promise, once I have the financial things settled, I will go to London and visit you, bring you flowers, don’t complain if you don’t like them. Just kidding, if you complain, then I’ll get you something else, no worries. I hope you miss me too because I miss our talks, even if they were short, as long as I said hi, it was enough for me.  

Thanksgiving is approaching, and I want to thank you for making me realize that I am a nice person and making me love myself. Sorry for saying it now, but it took a long time for me to understand what you meant back then. I still remember the last conversation we had, the way you instantly knocked some sense into me when I called myself ugly, and you said I was beautiful. Sometimes I wish we had more time to talk on that day; I should have told you I loved you one more time, even though you knew. It was hard for me to move on from you; getting the news wasn’t easy for me to take; I had so many thoughts in my mind, I wanted to follow you, but I didn’t have the courage. So many of my friends that you knew told me to move on because it has been a long time, and I needed to continue. I know they were right, but they didn’t have the same connection we had, and you know that. When you love someone so much is hard to move on, I didn’t get over the love I had for you until a year or two, slowly processing everything but not forgetting you. 

Remember the song you sang to me that you and your sister wrote? Well, I don’t know if I told you this, but I record it, so I can hear you sing when I have a memory of you, or I need some closure. Like I told you before, you’re a great singer, remember I told you that you sounded like Ed Sheeran, you’re reaction was funny. I’m sorry for everything I did, for making you feel worried; I should have just waited for you to talk to me instead of running away. I guess I was scared to feel rejection again, especially after my experience, but knowing you loved me back, was a sense of relief. I remember you telling me to wait because you were just out of a messy breakup; I told you I was willing to wait forever for you because you were so special to me. 

After three years, I’ve been through so much, too much to tell in this letter. You know, I thought I wasn’t going to any other guy that would be as sweet as you, or that would treat me like the way you did, but now I know you’re taking care of me, even if I can’t see you. I’m currently in a new relationship, and he treats me like you did and is sweet as you; sometimes, I feel like I can see you through him, the same personalities. I don’t know what you’re doing, but if you’re working with God, side by side, to make me happy, I thank you and say thank you to God too. I know you’re probably knocking some sense into me when I don’t feel confident in myself, or I don’t feel pretty; now, just thinking about it makes me feel like you’re whispering it to me. 

Theo, I miss you, and I miss your sister; say hi to her for me; I hope you two are together and happy like you should be. I’ll never forget about you two; sometimes, I wish I could get one more day to talk to you, so I can say hi and say a proper goodbye. I miss you saying my nickname; nobody has called me that nickname in a long time, but when I hear it from someone else, it is just not the same if it isn’t you. Writing this letter to you makes me tear up because I remember all the memories we had. I’m sorry for not staying up late to talk to you, I know you needed me, and if I could go back in time, I would stay up until the following day. I know I’m saying sorry a lot, but I just need your forgiveness because I feel like I failed as your friend.

Well, I have written all that I can; I will be handing this letter to my angel so they can give it to you personally, so you know I still care about you and still have you in my heart. I will never forget you or forget the times we spent together. Have a lovely thanksgiving Theo, smile for me because you deserve to smile. I love you Theo, sorry for not saying it sooner. At this point, you know that I miss you so much and that I will keep the promise I have just made to you; I won’t break it. Just know that I am happy and smiling every day and will continue to love myself just like you taught me to. I hope I get a letter back because I need to know if you’re alright, but I know God is taking care of you for me. Till we meet again, love you, Theo.

Sincerely, 

Tati