A Mother's Love

Trigger Warning: Mentions of death and kidnapping

On a cold October morning, a car sped up the driveway of 3235 Merryway Lane. It came to a screeching halt and a young woman leapt out and hurried towards the front door of the modest house. Adeline pushed open the door, knowing that it wouldn’t be locked, and called out in a loud voice as she stepped into the foyer. “Mama? Are you alright?” 

“I’m in here, darling.” A familiar voice called back. 

Adeline followed her mother’s voice to the living room and was surprised to find her mother sitting in her recliner chair with a foldable table in front of her. On the table there were two plates with sandwiches on them. 

“You’re just in time for lunch, dear.” Mama said as she gestured for Adeline to sit. “What’s wrong? You look worried.” 

“Of course I’m worried. Paula called me this morning to tell me that you had another asthma attack. She said that your lungs are getting weaker by the day. Speaking of which, where is she?” Adeline looked all around but her mother’s home aide seemed to be nowhere in sight. 

“Oh, I gave Paula the rest of the day off.” Mama replied. 

“You did what?” 

“Oh, Adeline, don’t give me that look. I’m not some child who needs constant supervision.” 

Adeline sighed. This was a constant argument between the two of them. “Your doctor said that you shouldn’t be alone anymore. I know you didn’t want to go live at a nursing home, so that’s why I hired Paula. You need to let her do her job.” 

“Adeline, please.” Mama’s face grew stern. “I’m not in the mood to fight. All I want is to have a nice, simple meal with my favorite daughter. Is that too much to ask for?” 

Adeline couldn’t help but smile. “I’m your only daughter.” She pointed out as she sat down across from her mother. 

“You’re still my favorite.” Mama smiled back. She nodded towards the food. “I asked Paula to make some turkey sandwiches before she left. I even told her to put exactly three pickles on yours because I know that’s how you like it.” 

Adeline laughed as she picked up the sandwich and took a bite. “Tell Paula that she’s an excellent sandwich maker.” 

She finished her sandwich and frowned when she noticed that her mother had only taken a small bite. “You need to eat, Mama.” 

“I’m not hungry, dear.” Mama replied. 

“You need food.” Adeline urged her. “The doctors said--” 

“--Adeline, I know what the doctors said.” Mama cut in. “I also know what my body is telling me, and I know that I don’t have much time left.” 

“Mama, don’t talk like that.” Adeline pleaded. 

“I’m not going to eat.” Mama said. “But I want you to stay, at least for a little while. I needed to see you. I needed to say some things to you.” 

“Ok, I’m listening.” Adeline knew when her mother was being serious, and she knew that she needed to listen to whatever it was that she was about to say.

“I’m so sorry dear, that you never knew your father.” Mama said softly, her voice heavy with regret. “How I wish that I could have given you a little brother or sister…” 

Adeline reached out and patted her mother’s hand. “You were more than enough. I never needed anyone else.” 

“I’m glad you have Peter.” Mama replied. “I’m glad you found someone who will love and cherish you for the rest of your life. I’m glad that you won’t be alone, loneliness can drive you mad.” 

Adeline smiled as she thought of her beloved fiancé, who was currently out of town on a business trip. He had promised that this would be the last trip he would take before taking some time off so they could plan their lavish wedding. 

“You’re going to make a beautiful bride.” Mama continued. “I can just picture you now, walking down the aisle in your dress and your veil.” 

Adeline knew that her mother wouldn’t live long enough to see the wedding and she blinked rapidly to try and stop the tears from forming in her eyes. 

“There’s pudding in the fridge,” Mama spoke up. “ I had Paula go buy some from the supermarket the other day. Why don’t you go get some, it was your favorite dessert after all.” 

Adeline got up and went to fetch it, and when she returned she was surprised to see that a box was now lying on the table. Mama wordlessly took off the lid and pushed it towards her daughter.

“What’s this?” Adeline swallowed a few bites of pudding as she shuffled through the contents of the box. Inside was a multitude of old newspapers stacked on top of one another. “I never knew you to be a historian. How long have you been collecting these?” 

Mama said nothing. 

“These are all local papers.” Adeline said as she carefully flipped through the first page. “From…Portland? We never lived in Maine, you always said that you hated the New England weather.” 

Adeline and her mother had lived in about a dozen different places throughout her childhood. Every few years, the two of them would pack up their things and move to another state, sometimes even another country. They had lived all over the Midwest, the West coast, and even Alaska for a brief time. They had never gone anywhere near the East coast, no matter how much Adeline had begged for them to move to New York City.  

Mama remained silent, she watched intently as Adeline continued to read through the papers. 

Adeline hardly noticed her mother’s sudden lack of words. She was so perplexed by the newspapers. She didn’t understand why her mother had kept them, or what was so significant about them. As she continued to read through the pages, she stumbled across a headline that made her blood run cold. 

Kidnapping Case Remains Cold 

The community remains grief stricken as 3 year old Mariana Cross remains missing. The toddler was taken from her family home in the middle of the night two weeks ago and detectives are at a loss over her disappearance. It appears that the kidnapper managed to break open the bedroom window of the child’s room and abducted her straight from her bed. So far no suspects have been identified and police are asking for anyone who has information to come forward.

“I always knew that I wanted to be a mother.” Mama started to cough. “All my life, I wanted so desperately to have a child. I knew that I had so much love to give, and I knew that it wouldn't be right for me to keep it all to myself.” 

“Why do you have all these newspapers, Mama?” Adeline whispered. 

“I tried so hard. I was married to a man that I thought loved me, and we both tried. But no matter what we did or how many doctors we saw…it never worked.”

“Did you know Mariana Cross?” Adeline asked, although she was afraid of hearing her mother’s answer. 

“When I first saw you, you were at the playground. You were the most beautiful child I had ever seen, you were exactly what I had always imagined my daughter would look like..” Mama’s eyes glazed over as she snuck deep into her past memory. “Mr. and Mrs. Cross seemed like wonderful people, but I could see that they had their hands full with their other children. So I followed them home from that park that day, and I waited until the time was right to make my move.”

“Good Lord…” Adeline felt like she couldn’t breathe. “What have you done?” 

“The only thing I’ve ever done is love you!” Mama shot back, her entire body shook with fury as she struggled to talk in between her loud coughs. “I loved you, my dear child, with every fiber of my being. I raised you, I fed you, I clothed you. I gave you the best life I could, and I made sure that your childhood was full of joy and happiness. If I had a hundred lives to live, I would do the exact same thing each and every time. I wouldn’t change a single thing. I don’t regret anything that I’ve done.” 

“Then why tell me this?” Adeline demanded. She looked down at the paper in her hands that she had been clutching. Dozens of creases had formed and the words had been blotted with tears that had been silently falling down her face. “If what you say is true and you don’t feel any guilt or remorse, then why on earth are you confessing it all to me right now?” 

“I couldn’t leave this life in good faith, without telling you the whole truth.” Mama grew quiet. She leaned her head back up against her chair and slowly closed her eyes. Her last words were barely audible. “I love you so much, I couldn’t leave you in this lie.”  

Adeline rose up from her seat. “Mama?” As soon as the word left her mouth, she was hit with the instant feeling of anger. What was wrong with her? She had just learned that the woman sitting in front of her had kidnapped her. She had stolen Adeline’s life and bestowed the Cross family with immeasurable grief and heartache. She was a monster, a criminal, and yet in some twisted sense of fate, she was still Adeline’s mother. 

She took a step forward and pressed two fingers onto the old woman's neck. As soon as she confirmed that there was no pulse, she dropped her hand and let out a heavy sigh that sounded more a mix between a scream and a sob. She turned her back to the body, and quickly stuffed all the newspapers back into the box and slammed the lid on tight . The next time she would open it would be in the presence of a police officer. 

As she turned to leave, she suddenly remembered the half empty pudding cup that was still on the table. For reasons that she couldn’t quite explain, she grabbed the cup and shoveled the rest of it into her mouth. The sensation of the pudding sliding down her throat made her want to throw up, but she forced herself to keep it down. Once she was done. Adeline laid the cup and spoon next to the plate that was decorated in bread crumbs. With one final look at the remains of the meal she had just eaten, Adeline finally found the strength to walk away.