Lilee

God damn she really can pull off those gold aviator glasses. I mean, who do you know that can pull off blue light gold aviator glasses without looking, I don’t know, strange?! A bit out of place?

I have to admit, it’s pretty badass. Like, I kind of want to be her friend. Not necessarily to know all about her but to have her listen to me. Is that odd?

Lilee is often the quietest one in the room. They say those are the ones you should look out for. It’s the talkative ones that leave it all out there, but the quiet ones… they observe and speak with caution. 

She claims she’s still figuring it out, but every time she’s in a pinch, the universe swoops in and saves her. I guess now that I’m writing it out, I think the key to her overall brilliance is that she listens; and despite the gold aviator frames, she emits regal. I don’t know how else to say it. It’s her sense of style. Not that she’s incredibly chic, but she’s incredibly calculated, measured. 

We’ve worked together for two years and she keeps impeccable records of our files, her car always seems spotless, and even when her hair is a mess she is still put together. She’s just one of those women. Perhaps it’s her consistency and reputation that exceed her exterior qualities. I would like to sit in her brain for a minute, a week, or a month, instead of just wondering wondering wondering—was she built that way? Is it hereditary? How does that beautiful mind work? (Ok, I guess I do actually want to know all about her.)

Anyways, back to the universe swooping in and saving her. I’m not even sure if it’s fair to put it that way. Though, she’s definitely worked hard and been through it. Maybe it’s good karma, or maybe it’s her prayers? 

She says she listens to her inner guidance–her intuition. I want one of those.

Let me explain a little more. 

I don’t want what she has, but I want to grow like she has. Lilee loves things like natural light, so she’ll open the blinds in the morning to watch the sunrise. She takes her dog on hikes. She loves her friends. No, actually, she loves everyone. And she’s always sharing her food. 

Lilee is rich. Not monetarily, or maybe a little (a lot), but more than that she values the true luxuries of life. She enriches her time by imbuing it with magical things. 

Yes—those simple things are magical. 

And sometimes I wish it would be as easy for me. I hope one day my heart will be filled by the pure existence of natural light flowing through my office window. Did you know that our office manager allowed Lilee to bring her dog to work?!? Yes, our grumpy, irritable, cold-to-the-core manager (sorry if you’re reading this). And to be honest, I kind of want a dog now too.

Lilee is known to peel oranges and offer slices to everyone before eating one herself. She radiates happiness when she shares, and, clearly, I don’t know what it is but I find it hard not to stare. Sometimes I think she’s going through phases, but nope, she’s consistent with her giving. 

I heard she met a man who mirrored her soft soul. He loves the world as much as she does. I imagine them so delicate yet so…robust, enthusiastic, brilliant, resilient. How can I find that? Maybe I will. No, not maybe. I know I will. Lilee says that words cast spells so I’m trying to watch what I think and say because she must be right considering how she radiates each day. (I’m not trying to rhyme here, it’s just happening.)

Lilee is building her dream home by the ocean. I overheard her on the phone with her builder a moment ago. They were contemplating color palettes and types of flooring. I think she’s going with walnut hardwood floors in a chevron pattern. Her front doors are tall arched mahogany double doors. The floorplan includes a dining room to the left of the entrance, a sunken living room with a fireplace, and a kitchen with a large island farther back, closer to the floor-to-ceiling windows. The exterior is white stucco. Ugh. I could go on with the details...

Imagine driving home to that—I could melt. I can see it now though. I would drive home in my shiny car, wearing those baby blue heels Lilee loves, and walk through the door to find my other half cooking dinner. He’d be making me something special. Lemon ricotta ravioli (vegan, of course), my favorite, with a glass of chilled white wine waiting for me on the island, but before I even reach the kitchen, he’s already swooped me up in his arms. We feel like we’ve known each other forever, like we were together in a past life and found each other again. 

You know, even on her worst days she’s...Lilee. I remember this one time she was depressed for two weeks. I heard her crying in her office from up the hall. I walked in and asked if she wanted to talk about it, she shook her head no and I left. I guess, now that I’m writing this out, she’s not that perfect—just incredibly kind. 

I do admire her and try to encourage her as much as she encourages others. She’s the type of person you want to succeed because it will be a win for you too. Isn’t it crazy how beautiful she is? Inside and out. I mean I know she’s human but it’s the love behind the giving that’s the magic about her. Like I said, she values sunshine and people. Sometimes she’ll even greet trees. She’s connected in a way I someday wish to be. Maybe I sound a bit zany, but she’s just free. 

They say people are like mirrors, so maybe all of those delightful things I see in her already exist in me too. God I hope so. 

I think I’ll go buy some oranges and peel them today.