Don't Tell A Soul

“How are you today?” he said into the rearview mirror. The woman in the backseat of the car didn’t seem to hear him as she stared into her phone, her thumb methodically scrolling social media. He rolled his eyes and looked back at the road. He was used to this by now. He was just a background decoration in this person’s life. A warm body who steered their life to another destination. It used to be easier to engage with people, as he took them on their journeys. Of course, people also used to be more aware of their surroundings, of the more sinister things in the world, which made it much harder for him to blend in. He liked a good challenge though, and the distractible nature of humans served him well. He noticed she didn’t have earbuds in, and smirked at the rare opportunity he had, so he pulled out his auxiliary cord and adapter. He held them up, waving them behind his shoulder until she looked up, surprised. “Wanna DJ the ride?” he asked, flashing a warm smile. 

Iris relaxed and a small smirk cut through her blank stare, as she took in his warm, dimpled, innocent grin. “No thanks,” she said, “but I appreciate the offer.” He set the cord and adapter in the passenger seat, and watched deftly, always timing it right so his passengers never caught him lingering. He watched her eyes fall to the back of his seat, on their way back to her phone. She read the sign that he’d placed on the back of his seat. “What’s this about?” she asked, giving a chuckle. “Well, it’s pretty self explanatory, but I’m happy to discuss terms in more detail, if that helps,” he said slyly, showcasing his dimpled grin again. “Well, it says ‘Spill the tea, get a discount.’ So what kind of discount are we talking about?” 

“What’s your name?” he asked, knowing it was best to keep prey – passengers – from controlling the conversation. He’d played this game for millenia now, and rarely lost. “Iris,” she replied, warily. Modern passengers didn’t like giving their details, even to their drivers, who already had all their info in the app they used to schedule these rides. “Nice to meet you, Iris. I’m Dolus. Names are important, you know,” he said, making eye contact with her in the rearview mirror. “Yeah, I guess that’s true,” she shrugged in reply, “My mom would probably agree with you. She said my name means rainbows, or something. But for real, what’s this sign about? I thought drivers couldn’t give discounts, just the company itself, and nobody really gets those on ride sharing apps.” 

“Normally, you’d be correct, Iris,” he said, “But I’ve got a special promotion code that I can give out, that you can use on any ride in the future. All it’ll cost you is a true story.” Iris thought for a moment, “What if I don’t have anything worth gossiping about?” She settled back in her seat, phone still clutched in her hand, but forgotten for a moment. “Everyone has something they could share. Unless you don’t ever see or speak to other human beings. I know in a big city like this, surely you do.” He smiled, keeping his tone nonchalant, and patiently waiting while she contemplated. 

“Well, I could tell you what the Kardashians are up to,” she joked. Dolus frowned, his reply more harsh than before, as he pressed forward in his mission. “Is it gossip, if everyone already knows of their sadness and turmoil, merely because they choose to share too much of their lives on national television? I think not. People deal in different things, Iris. Some deal in money, some in power. I deal in secrets. In gossip. I deal in the thing you know you’re not supposed to share, but you share it anyway. What’s the story inside that’s itching to get out? Let it out, and I think you’ll feel quite different afterward." His gaze remained intensely on her as he said the words.

She felt an odd shift in herself, and felt like she wanted to share secrets with this total stranger. She could pretend to herself she wasn’t a gossip, but everyone knew the truth. Even her own mother said Iris would never let privacy or boundaries get in the way of a good story. Plus, she thought to herself, in this economy, who couldn’t use a good discount? Nobody will know. What harm will it do? She told herself these half truths, repeating that same excuses she always gave, to assuage her own guilt. She wasn’t a gossip, she was just a truth teller. A story teller. She just shared tales that happen to be true. Besides, she'd probably never see this stranger again. 

“Well, I don’t know nuclear codes or anything,” she started, hesitantly, “but I do know a few things. For one thing, my sister hates her husband but is trying to convince herself she doesn’t. They got married way too young, but you can’t talk her out of anything. Now they’ve got kids, and it’s complicated you know? I guess I feel bad for her, but I’ve never been married, so I’m not sure what to tell her. Oh! Also, my boss’s wife is definitely leaving him, because he was on the phone in the breakroom, thought nobody was in there, but he was talking to a divorce lawyer,” she leaned up as she emphasized the scandal, and Dolus raised his eyebrows and took in her words excitedly, knowing she would relish in his reaction to the gossip. “But who wouldn’t leave that guy, he’s a jerk! I mean, really, who makes people come into work on a Saturday morning?! It’s inhumane, that’s what it is. Serves him right, he’s probably just as awful at home.”

Iris continued on, her words spilling out of her, as the car cruised smoothly down the busy highway. At first, it was the shallow secrets of those around her, but soon, she was spilling information she’d sworn she’d never repeat again. Devastating secrets, given to her in confidence. Untold secrets that could end marriages, ruin careers, and destroy families. A small haze formed in her mind, as she recounted the pain, misfortune, and unethical behavior of others. She felt almost drunk with the intoxication of her words, as they spilled out like murky, toxic sludge into clear blue ocean waters.

Iris paused suddenly, as Dolus pulled over to her desired destination. She felt shocked at her own words, and the alarming depths of the secrets and stories she told. She glanced at her phone and realized she’d been talking for 15 minutes straight, but once she’d started, it seemed like the words just poured out of her. She suddenly felt more tired, yet weirdly amped up at the same time. As if there were a war inside her, one side pressing her to continue, and another side – one that felt more responsibility to those who put their trust in her – urging her to stop talking.

She placed her hand over her mouth, glancing up at the driver. Dolus was breathing in more deeply, almost as if he were sampling the air in front of him. Inhaling the secrets as if they were oxygen. He glanced up at her, making his breathing more even, now that she had made eye contact and broken out of her trance. He brought out a sinister smile that didn’t reach his eyes, and said, “Wow, you had all that pent up in there, see? Feels better to get it out, I’m sure. Here’s a bottle of water.” Iris felt confused, but took the water from him, hearing his words as if she were under water. A buzzing sound had built up in her ears. 

Every time, he thought, smugly. He brought out his own phone, and hers buzzed as a notification popped up in her ride sharing app, “10% discount on your next ride” came across her screen. Iris looked at it, and tried to shake her head, as if she could physically loose herself from the confusion she felt, and told herself she just needed another cup of coffee. “Five star ratings are appreciated! You’ve been a great passenger, Iris. I think there’s a SevenBucks right around the corner, if you’re feeling the need for a little caffeinated pick-me-up.” Iris hesitated as she stepped out of the car, several questions burning in her mind, but feeling unable to grasp at them. “But… How do you know, Dolus? How do you know people don’t just make things up to get the discount? How do you know my stories were true?” He smiled darkly, his brow casting a shadow over his eyes, as he turned around in his seat to face her. “Truth has a certain ring to it. A certain… air about it, you might say. After a while, you start to see what’s really inside people. You see what they’re truly made of, and not just what they want you to see.” 

She started to ask another question, but Dolus interjected, offering a soothing balm to the fears he could sense rising in her as his smile widened, “Don’t worry, my lips are sealed.” Iris tried to focus on his face, but found her eyes unfocusing, and the shadows in the car seemed to shift and move the more she tried to look at the details of his features. It seemed like the bright daylight outside couldn’t pierce the shadows that filled this vehicle. Her dark reverie was broken by the sound of Dolus’s phone pinging. He looked down at it, and flashed his dimples at her as he looked back up at Iris. “Have to go, I’m afraid. Another passenger to pick up. Another story to hear.”

Iris found herself standing on the sidewalk, as the crowds of people milled around her, and the car pulled away to its next destination. Her mind seemed to clear a little, the further away the car pulled into traffic. An odd numb feeling mingled with the haze that didn’t go away, but just shifted to the back of her mind. She started walking, remembering the coffee shop around the corner. A pick-me-up, Dolus had called it. I could definitely use that. She took a deep breath, and forced herself to move ahead, the haze lingering. Her phone buzzed in her hand, and she deftly fell back into her normal flow of weaving around people seamlessly, while being fully focused on her phone.

She tried to recall the conversation with the driver, as she waited at a crosswalk, but the details had already begun fading from her mind. Beside the numbness that had taken root in her soul, she felt shame. She knew she’d said more than she should have, but… well was there an excuse? Who would know, she’d told herself. Another voice seemed to speak from the haze, but it sounded much like her own voice, soothing and excusing her actions. Others have done much worse, I’m sure. But is that who I want to be?... A text interrupted her train of thought, and she shook off the nagging guilt, but couldn’t shake the feeling that she was missing something important. Some part of herself.

***

Back in the car, Dolus breathed in deeply, enjoying the lingering scent of the human soul that had been spilled out as a gift to him. The humans thought they offered up mere words. Trivial stories of others’ pain or scandal. Instead, they offered him sacrifices without knowing. They placed their very soul on his altar and slaughtered pieces of it – along with truth, fidelity, trust, love, and connection.

Humans longed to scratch that deep, satisfying itch that gossip gave them. They wanted to feel important, loved, and seen by others. If people felt unimportant in their own story, they'd often resort to telling the stories of others. He’d seen very few individuals who were able to resist his temptations, but there were some who knew the cost and refused to pay it. His phone pinged, and a familiar name came up on the ride sharing app. “Oh good, this one tells such interesting stories,” he chuckled to himself. Someone was taking advantage of their discount code, for another ride with Dolus, the god of deceit.