My pure form of happiness....flight

My pure form of happiness…...flight

To fly, to feel the winds, chase the clouds, to see another side of our world, chase the birds, experience the storms, but above all be lost in the vast ocean we call the sky. Ever since my mind started to develop independent thoughts I was captivated and obsessed by man’s desire to fly. I read up on man’s attempt to imitate birds' flight by attaching wings to their body. There were several tries over the last two centuries made without success. Often these flights end in death. For the present I would have to accept that man was not capable of flying like a bird. As a teenager I used to lie in bed and dream about the flights I would be able to take as an adult. My favorite flight plan was across the great savannah lands of Africa where I could watch the herds of animals travelling to their water holes. These dreams were so intense I often had difficulty coming back to earth.

My school life floated between concentrating on the teacher’s lessons and my dreams about flying. How many times did I hear my name, “ Harold are you with us, or dreaming about something? Your head seems to be in the clouds.” At the university I was determined to try and relate all my obsession with flying to the reality of the world around me. From my readings on the subject of man as an individual being able to fly clearly stated that our body weight and bone structure would prevent us from strapping on wings that would give us the necessary liftoff power to fly. Through a friend I was told the university had an agreement for their student with the local gliding club. The next day I presented myself at the club.

Can you imagine my excitement when I first sat behind an instructor in a glider waiting for a small plane to drag us up into the sky? For me it was like leaving the realities of this world into my constant dream world. As the small plane pulled us up towards the clouds I experienced my first sensation of seeing the village and town from above. The dream I had for years became a reality. Then without warning the plane in front of us disappeared and we were left in the magical domain of the winds and thermals hidden in the skies. We were in free flight. I had left the real world and was totally submerged in my dreams. This must surely be the closest man gets to imitating birds. The silence is breathtaking. Chasing the thermals is exhilarating. Circulating the thermals to climb into the blue only to glide on to the next must be a sensation the birds feel. When we were finally on the ground I asked to be allowed to remain in my front seat of the gilder to recreate the flight in my head. For me the beauty of flying was as if I had left this earth for those precious moments in the world of my dreams. I signed up that evening to become a member of the club.

Then followed a few years in which I perfected my skills in completely dominating the activity of gliding. Within a year I took the glider up solo. A year later I was awarded the club's yearly prize as the most admired glider pilot of the year. I had chosen a career in banking that required a relatively light office presence that allowed me the time to spend in the air. I knew I could never fulfill a position that required heavy responsibilities as my mind was often floating with the clouds.

As the years passed by, the idea of man being able to fly without the assistance of some kind of motor was continually evolving. There was the invention of the paraglider and later the wingsuits, an offshoot of hand gliding. Probably wingsuiting is the closest form of man attempting to fly like a bird. In my constant effort to try and fly like a bird I tried all these latest inventions. The adrenaline rush was spectacular. It clearly represented what one could imagine a bird felt when diving, but these inventions lacked the ability to sore like a bird. Only my glider plane achieved that sense of freedom to climb amongst the clouds and then turn and fall from the skies. I just had to wait until somebody solved the conundrum.

Five years after leaving the university I was well installed as one of the top bank employees. In fact upper management had just made me a regional manager. This gave me some additional time and space to live in my dream world. The career move incited me to propose marriage to a young attractive teller at the bank. During our short fiance period she was very enthusiastic about my passion for gliding. Each time I took her with me the flight always concluded with laughter and smiles. Once married her interest in gliding was dropped like a heavy stone in a pond. She was much more interested in the mundane things of life like possessions, career development, impressing friends and neighbours. She thought my passion for flying was a hobby that was taking up too much time away from family life. I realized with this remark I had made a terrible mistake. All my talk and my dreams out flying meant nothing to her. She had not the capacity to understand I had and was living in two worlds…dreams and reality. In my dream world of flying I felt alive, free and profoundly happy. In the humdrum days at the bank I craved those feelings.

I started agonising about what I should do. There was no way I wanted to continue living with somebody that had no idea of what was important for me. I still felt an attraction for her but there had been a serious misunderstanding. Flying in the sky amongst the birds and clouds was not only my permanent dreams but that part of me that allowed me to accept the realities of life. Should I divorce her for irreconcilable differences ... .a weak and pathetic reason? Have various affairs with a number of women…distasefull given my vows to love and cherish her? She was deeply planted in the real world where as I lived half of my time in a dream world only accepting the real world because I could not fly like a bird.

After careful thought I devised a plan that would take me into my dreams with the person I vowed to protect. Sadly I realized that in my lifetime man would never complete the possibility of man flying like a bird. I asked my wife to accompany me on a day's gliding trip. At first she was very reserved about going but at my insistence she agreed. The day I chose the weather conditions were not ideal as there was the possibility of a storm coming in. We started out in bright sunlight with the sky full of puffy clouds dominating the sky. After an hour's gliding I did notice dark and angry clouds forming to the west. Two hours later the storm struck with a force of all the heavens displeasure. We never return to reality to tell the tale. I died in peace in a world of my eternal dreams. My wife, bless her soul, was freed of all the pressures and stress of reality.

David Nutt October 2025