Jimmy's Questions

January 16

Are you there God? It’s me, Jimmy.

Today in school Mrs. Warren read us a story about a king who lived a long long time ago and used pigeons to get cherries from a far away mountain. My mom’s pigeons don’t usually carry messages but since pigeons fly up into the sky I figure they must get closer to heaven where you are. I picked Ivanhoe to carry this letter because he’s my mom’s strongest pigeon. He’s the boss of the food bowl and he won’t let anyone eat until he’s finished. Even if he hasn’t been to heaven before I’m hoping he can find you. Like how other birds know to fly south in winter because that’s what you made them to do. When you write back you can just tie your note under Ivanhoe’s wing and let him go and he’ll come back to me. But I guess you know all that because that’s what you made pigeons to do.

I’m writing to you because I have a few questions. My mom says everyone has questions. My dad says you have answers. At least, he says you know everything. So you must have the answers to my questions. So here goes.

1. Why does my dad have cancer? Is he going to get better? If we pray harder will he get better faster? 2. Can you make Tony’s parents be nicer to him? My mom says Tony is mean to me at school because his parents aren’t nice to him. He wasn’t always mean. Maybe his parents were nicer back then. Anway, if you could take care of the parent problem that would make things easier on me. 3. Can you make my sister grow up faster? My mom says she’s growing up and that’s why she cries all the time. My brother is growing up too but he doesn’t cry about it. If growing up makes people cry I don’t want to.

Since you know everything I guess you already know all of this. Which brings me to another question—lots of them, actually. But I’m tired now so I’m gonna stop and finish later.

February 1

Dear God,

My mom says that’s the proper way to start a letter. She says I can’t send you a message by pigeon because it doesn’t work that way. She says you can’t get to heaven from here, even by pigeon and also if I let one of her pigeons out to fly around the hawks will kill it and she doesn’t have any pigeons to spare.

I guess I already knew that but I was hoping. My teacher at church says you’re kind of like that too. Even though you already know things, you like for us to tell you. I asked my teacher if that’s because you get lonely and he said no you just like the sound of our voice. Maybe because you made it. My mom says my brother’s voice is cracking. It sounds really funny sometimes but my mom says we have to not laugh at him. You probably get lots of chances to hear my sister’s voice. She used to sing a lot. Let it go and i’ve got a dream and it sounded really nice. Now she mostly cries and complains.

My dad is better this week. My mom said it’s because something is wrong with his blood so he wasn’t able to get kemo this week. Having something wrong with your blood sounds bad but my dad seemed kind of happy about the kemo. He even went outside and played catch with me for a while. Only he didn’t catch much because I’m not very good at throwing and he’s not very good at running anymore.

Tony’s parents must be worse because he threw a paintbrush at me today in art class and got green paint all over my favorite spiderman shirt. I was really mad. The teacher sent Tony to the nurse and me to the principal’s office. The principal said just because my dad has cancer doesn’t mean I can beat people up. I don’t know what my dad has to do with it.

I don’t think I want to say anything else about that. You already know anyway.

Jimmy

February 13

Dear God,

My mom says even if I could use one of her pigeons to send a message this letter is way too long for a pigeon to carry under its wing or on its leg. She said the Egyptians wrote short messages in tiny writing. But she told me to keep doing it and she will make sure you get the letters.

She also says her pigeon Squeaky who doesn’t fly is smarter than Ivanhoe because Squeaky finds a way to do what pigeons need to do even tho he can’t fly. It looks to me like pigeons mostly need to stay alive. My mom said Squeaky used to be really scrappy even though he was the smallest pigeon, until his wing got hurt and he couldn’t get away from Ivanhoe. Now he lives in a separate house with Ekaterina.

My dad had kemo again yesterday and he’s been in bed all day today. I thought the kemo was supposed to make him better but it seems like it’s making him worse.

Yours,

Jimmy

P.S. My mom says “yours” is how they used to sign letters in the old days. But not with pigeon post. They only had room for the bear nesesities like send food.

It’s kind of a funny way to end a letter.

April 12

Dear God,

My sister had a birthday party yesterday. Her friends came over and they talked a lot and stayed up really late and kept us all awake but I didn’t mind because it meant I got to play longer with my legos. Also I ate three chocolate cupcakes with sprinkles on them and then I didn’t feel so great but the cupcakes were still really good. And my sister was super happy and didn’t cry. Maybe that’s because she’s growing up. So maybe my mom is finding a way to get these messages to you.

Oh—Squeaky and Ekaterina had a baby. At first it looked like a tiny naked ugly duckling and now it looks like a baby porcupine with penguin wings. My mom’s worried maybe it won’t be able to fly, the way Squeaky can’t. I said I thought she said it was OK that Squeaky couldn’t fly and she said that’s true but the baby would probably like it better if he could.

Thanks,

Jimmy

May 1

Dear God,

Tony hasn’t come to school for a long time. At lunchtime today Mrs. Warren told me to stay when everyone else left the classroom and I thought I was going to get in trouble for spending a long time sharpening my pencil at the trash can when we were supposed to be doing a math worksheet but I didn’t want to. But Mrs. Warren didn’t say anything about the pencil sharpening. She said Tony isn’t coming back because he went to live with a foster family. She said they’ll be nicer to him than his parents. She said normally she wouldn’t tell me that but Tony wanted me to know because I was his friend. I didn’t know we were friends. I don’t think throwing a paint brush at someone is a very good way to be a friend. But I am a little sad because now that Tony is with a nice family maybe he would stop being mean to me and maybe we would be friends. I wonder if he was sad to leave home. I would be.

Sincerely,

Jimmy

P.S. Squeaky and Ekaterina’s baby is growing really fast. It looks almost like the grownup pigeons just a little smaller.

July 1

Dear God,

Today my dad told me he’s not going to have to have any more kemo. I was happy because now maybe he won’t be so tired all the time and he can play football with me more. But he said he still might not be able to play with me much because the reason they’re quitting the kemo is because it isn’t working any more. I asked him why and he said there are a lot of things that only you know. He said we don’t have to know why. It’s enough to know that you love us and do what’s good for us. I said I didn’t see how him having cancer is good and he said it’s like how the kemo is good for him even though it makes him sick. Or how Tony’s going to a foster family is good for him even if he’s sad to leave home. Or how Squeaky’s not being able to fly makes him smarter.

My dad said a lot of stuff. It was kinda confusing and I don’t remember it all. He said he might be going to see you. I know what that means but I don’t want to talk about it. My mom says I should keep on writing letters to you but I don’t know if I will. I think I’m kinda mad. So in case you don’t hear from me for a while that’s why.  

Jimmy

P.S. I still want to be friends.

December 21

Dear God,

It’s been a while. But my mom says I should wrap up our corespondens. So here goes. 1. I guess you know my dad’s not here any more because he’s there with you even though I prayed really hard for him to get better. I’m still kinda mad. I guess you know that too. But it’s good that he’s not hurting. It was really hard to watch him be sick all the time. 2. Tony’s back at school this year. He’s staying with his parents part time and his foster family part time. His parents must be nicer now because he’s not mean to me any more and I think we might be going to be friends. 3. My sister doesn’t cry much any more, which is weird because you’d think she would cry more with my dad gone. But she helps my mom a lot and drives me to school in my dad’s old pickup. Maybe growing up is okay. My brother’s voice has stopped cracking. Yesterday him and his friends asked if I wanted to play football with them. I was a little afraid I might get hurt and I did but not bad and it was really fun.

Oh, and Squeaky’s and Ekaterina’s baby is grown up and he can fly just fine. He’s really scrappy just like his dad. He even gives Ivanhoe a wollop if that old bully gets too close.

So thanks for everything I guess.

Yours,

Jimmy