Moving on

Trigger warning: sexual assault, suicidal ideation

The rose tumbled from her fingers falling with her tears down below. How could he have done this to her? She had been nothing but loyal and had loved him with everything she had. What’s even sadder. It had happened a year ago. A year ago when she had come home to find another girl. A year ago when she discovered that her husband had been cheating on her. A year ago when she had given him the chance to choose her and work out their problems and he shattered her heart instead. Standing on the Golden Gate Bridge, looking down below. She wondered if it would be easier to jump. To gain a few moments of freedom so she wouldn’t have to hold onto this pain. She glanced around and saw only an old man who would soon pass her. “Now is the time,” she thought to herself. As the old man passed fireworks began going off. January First. New Years. There had been a New Year new you forced upon her last year and this year she wouldn’t be around long enough. The man stopped for a minute and looked at the girl. Saw she was crying. And began nodding his head. “You know when I was your age I lost my wife. Lost her today. A year later I’d stood at this bridge and cried much like u are and had a conversation much like this. I was asked a question. Do you mind if I ask you the same one?”

She was too numb to respond so she gently nodded her head.

“if you could have any wish. What would you wish for?” The man asked almost with hope in his eye.

“I don’t know” as she was about to continue the man cut her off,

”think about it. Don’t tell me right now but whatever you’re going through I know it’s hard but I also know it gets better. Give me one year. Think about your wish and then a year from now I’ll meet you right here and I promise I will make your wish come true. Will you do that for me? Please just humor an old man it would be nice to have company next year.”

Teary-eyed she promised she would. And they parted their separate ways. 

Chapter 2: One year since that strange encounter on the bridge last year. She sat wondering if that man would show up for the new year. She reflected on the last year. It had gotten better. She'd gone back to college and had struggled with money and life itself but there had been a lot of joy too. She'd reunited with old friends. Had partied had pushed herself to go outside and put on a fake smile for those around her. But the betrayal still lingered. The darkness still clung to her. And the depression wrapped her in its cold arms. She cried silently in the cold night. Only to feel a hand on her shoulder. And heard his voice "did you find your wish?" The girl thought shaky knew exactly what she wanted. She had wanted it for two years now. "I want to move on. I want to help others move on so that no one will ever have to feel like this again." 

The man smiled. With a twinkle in his eye, he said "Your wish is granted. You see I'm old and not long for this Earth but I wished the same thing you had. The man-made my wish came true and I've been guided to those struggling ever since. I've had many opportunities to help them move on and find their way forward past the pain they've felt. Now it's your turn." With a final smile, the man turned and walked away. Leaving her on the bridge. 

Chapter 3:

She sat there numb. Wondering if this had truly just happened. Had he just been crazy and conned her into living one more year? Angry, and feeling betrayed and used again, she climbed onto the rail ready to take the plunge when a small voice seemed to whisper "help her" confused she stood on the rail wondering if she was hearing things. Once more a small voice came to her "she needs your help. Just walk and I will lead you"

Her greatest strength and weakness took over and her curiosity leads her down the streets. Two blocks later she hooked a left because it felt right. Then a few more blocks and a couple more turns and there she was. Her roommate Brady sat in front of her sobbing with her dress torn. Her instincts took over and she asked Brady "what happened?"

Through tears, Brady explained how her boyfriend had dumped her tonight. She'd been walking home when a drunk had assaulted her. She'd been lucky an old man had found them before the drunk had been able to do more than stare at her. The old man had given his life for hers and attacked the drunk and she just ran. Together the two started crying again as they stumbled home to the apartment. 

Chapter 4: 

She didn't know what to do. It's been two weeks since her roommate had been assaulted and she still was struggling. She shied away from every guy who came near her. Physical contact scared terrified her. Brady needed help but she didn't know what to do. How was she supposed to help her move on if she couldn't move on herself? So she did the only thing she knew how to do. She researched. She flung herself into figuring out how to help people move on from a past filled with pain. She studied for hours called professional psychologists, therapists, chiropractors even! Anything she could find. If only she could've asked the old man but he had been right. His time had been near but his timing was once again perfect as he'd saved Brady from what would've been even worse. Her studying took a week before she decided on a plan. They would do it together. She and Brady would face their past and move on. It was a new year and it would be their year. She never felt so free as she did the first time she and Brady walked out of their first session with of all things a chiropractor. He was kind and compassionate but had developed a technique that allowed them to heal, to move on, they never forgot what they had lost. They didn't instantly get better. But they moved on. Thinking about it still hurt deeply but it didn't hold them back anymore like it once did. This was just the beginning for her. For years she went and found people who needed her help. When she couldn't help them she took them to those who were trained to help. Her wish came true. She helped others move on and become whole. She changed the world just by sitting, listening, and helping where she could. And no one remembers her name but I do. 

Chapter 5: 

I sat there. New Year's Eve. A night of joy and revelry but like any other, it was a night of pain for some. I'd run away from home without a dollar to my name and nowhere to turn to. I know what the inky depths of the bridge look like in the dead of night. I had no desire to jump but I questioned it. What was I supposed to do now? I had nothing left. I had no one around me. I was lost and alone and afraid. But she found me. She found me and she listened. So I told her. I told her about the abuse. How I watched my mother beaten. How I wanted to stop it but didn't have the strength. Didn't have the courage to stand up to him. I cried to her about the constant bullying that had torn me apart for years. I told her about my time on the street I'd spent starving still being beaten. I cried my heart and soul out for an hour. Then she asked "if you could have any wish? What would it be?" 

I answered barely thinking "I wish I could keep others from this pain. I wish I could help them find their way again once they have felt it." 

She smiled with tears in her eyes. And told me her story. Told me how she'd been here. Cried like this. And wished my wish. And now I'm telling you my story. Why you may ask? Because I am not the only one with this wish. I am not the only one who has been betrayed, heartbroken, abused, attacked, molested. I am not the only one who has felt alone, helpless, hopeless, defeated, and broken. And you aren't the only one either. We can help each other move past our pain and into a brighter future. It's a new year. A new me. Will it be a new you?