Best Boy

Today was the day. After months of planning and preparation, this was going to be the best day ever. Or, possibly, the worst day ever. This was the day Carlo was finally going to tell Megan that he liked her. He had practiced the confession dozens of times, but ultimately decided he was going to wing it with the help of his only guy friend, Max. Max had already confessed his love to dozens of guys, including Carlo. Max was also the only person who knew that Carlo, despite public opinion, was not gay.

Carlo seemed gay in every way. He wasn't sure how he did it, but ever since sixth grade he'd begun to emit a strong homosexual presence. Many people had described it to him, and he'd even tried to hide those characteristics but found that to be more mentally taxing than just allowing others to view him as gay.

He didn't feel embarrased by it. He never had issues with the comments on his higher voice, the amount of female friends he had, or even the fact that he preferred skinny jeans and trendy tops. Thos were just things that he liked about himself. He knew his slang terminology fit the profile, and sometimes he used it just so that he didn't have to think about what else to say. It was easy to let people think he was gay, he even became more popular.

The one problem was that he couldn't just casually ask any of his girl friends on a date, even though he really wanted to. Especially Megan. She had been his best friend for forever, she always hung out with him, and if she hadn't been the first to call him gay he'd think she liked him.

Despite her good looks and her incredible personality Megan had stayed single the entire time he knew her. That was all fine until last week when he found out that another guy had asked her out. Carlo felt pressure coming, but also saw a great opportunity when Megan complained about that she wanted to say no, but didn't have a good reason to. This was perfect, and was the perfect time to put into play the Max plan.

Max was a professional at this, he knew exactly what to say to oget a guy to fall all over him, and he knew every romantic spot. Carlo knew that Magan liked to go to the mall on Saturdays with a couple girls from a different school and figured he would be able to show up and whisk her away to one of the restaurants that, according to Max, specialized in romance.

This would all work out perfectly, especially because it would give her enough time to let the other guy know that she had a boyfriend now.

A boyfriend! Carlo was finally going to have a girlfriend and it was going to happen today!

Meeting up with Max beforehand, he got help picking out the right flowers to take with. They also set up a phone call between them so that they would be able to split up and find her quickly, and then Max would coordinate the best time for Carlo to sweep Magan off her feet. Everything was going to plan and Carlo felt a zing of prepared anxiety whish through him as they stepped through the doors of the mall.

Greeted by bright lights and brighter music, they set off in opposite directions. After a short while, Max's voice came trhough the earbud in Carlo's ear. He'd found heer already! It was time for him to start making his way over, the girls were already close to the restaurant.

As Carlo walked down the hall he made sure he looked good in the windows as he passed each store. He ran over the things he wanted to say in his head and felt the world tune out around him. Panic surged from his brain to his heart which began to thud in his chest heavily. This was it. No more would he be able to pretend like his feelings weren't there. He'd have to see her every day after this and that could either be the most amazing thing or the worst thing in history. It was time for the school to know, for Megan to know, that he wasn't gay and he loved one of his best friends.

Suddenly, Max's voice cut through his haze, telling him that there was a problem and that he shouldn't come right now. Confused, Carlo asked why and sped up. Max kept warning him, but the warning dulled out into the back of his mind and his feet hit the floor faster and harder. As he reached the group of girls, he looked around for a disaster, but just saw Megan happy and in the middle of window shopping. He began to continue forward, but saw Max wave him over out of the corner of his eye. Begrudgingly he headed over the hiding place in the store across from the girls.

When he asked Max what was wrong he wouldn't say. He just kept telling him that they should leave and try another day. Looking out of the window, Carlo saw the girls stopped right in front of the restaurant. He was afraid, but he knew that if he didn't do it now he might not ever.

Standing, Carlo ignored Max's complaints against going over and walked a steady pace to finally tell Megan that he liked her. He could imagine tomorrow already, waking up to having a girlfriend, kissing her, knowing that he could finally stop just being her gay best friend.

When he finally got close enough to say something, he saw one of the girls grab Magan's hand and lead her into the restaurant. He wanted to be the one who took her in, but he was so excited that he just sped up as he felt a goofy grin settle across his face. Walking in, he prepared to fully send this declaration and held his head up, ready for the best moment of his life.

The inside of the restaurant was decorated with comfortable lighting and beautiful pink and white carved tables and booths. There were fireplaces with shallow couches and beautiful plants nearby. Looking for Megan, Carlo ventured into the room. She wasn't at any of the tables near the front so he started back to the booths.

Nearing the end of the first row, he saw her bag on the floor beside the bench. Steeling his nerves, he straightened the flowers and stepped forward to see her.

He saw her, but she was with that other girl. He felt like something was off, he could see a spark in her that hadn't been there before. As he was trying to understand what was happening and before he could do anything about it, they leaned in for a kiss.

His mind exploded with questions and his heart dropped to his knees as they began to wobble. He backed away, afraid of being seen. Turning, he heard Megan call his name. He couldn't decide what to do, his heart wanted him to turn and kiss her, to make her like him more! His head wanted him to run but his legs couldn't move. He felt himself lower down into the chair near him. He vaguely noticed as she sat down in front of him.

He looked up and saw her smile, but he couldn't return it. He was crushed, and he couldn't believe he'd been so stupid. Why would she like him? And why did he still feel like he deserved her? This was so stupid! He could hear her talking to him but he couldn't comprehend. Suddenly, he felt her hand on his and his attention snapped back to her.

She was asking if he was ok. He didn't know what to say, couldn't even begin to tell her what he felt. All that he could do was hand her the flowers he was wringing in his hands. A look of understanding came over her face and he hoped that she'd realized enough for him to explain that he wasn't really gay, but the words kept coming out wrong. She set down the flowers and held his hand again. There wasn't anything to say so they didn't talk. Finally, Max came in, desperate to know what had happened and, seeing what had, asked Carlo if he wanted to go home. Nodding, Carlo rose from his position.

Walking out, Carlo heard Max telling him that it would be ok, and that he could still care for Megan, it would just be different now.

Carlo didn't know what to think about thta until later, as he stared at the cieling over his bed. He remembered when Max had told him that he liked him. Carlo didn't see Max any differently afterward, and Max had continued being his friend. Just because Carlo didn't like him didn't mean Max liked him any less, but knowing that Megan would never like him still seemed too hard to know and keep up their friendship. But he knew it was worth it, deep down, he knew that Megan was still just as important to him as she had been before.

But he also knew he couldn't keep pretending to be something he wasn't, he had felt angry with Magan that she hadn't told him she had a girlfriend, and he knew that Max must have felt the same way about him being straight. From now on, he was going to ask out the girls he cared about, he was going to be who he was unapolagetically. Being ok with his personality was different than proudly being who he really was. Who cared if everyone thought he was gay? He was going to othe the gayest straight guy of all time if that was what it would take to be happy and date who he wanted! And he was going to continue to be best friends with Megan, even if it hurt, and he was going to be ok.

Carlo was going to be ok.