Back To the Beginning

Mike Henley was bitterly cold as he stood sentry duty. Winters in Afghanistan were often harsh. This one certainly was. Like soldiers had done for centuries, Mike wondered what the hell he was doing freezing his ass off in a foreign country many miles from home. Mike allowed his thoughts to briefly turn to Julie, his wife and the love of his life at home in Fort Benning, Georgia. In a few weeks his tour will end. He and Julie planned to spend two weeks in the Caribbean where the sun and waves and mostly time with Julie would wash away the pain of being away from her.

The piercing shriek of the alarm system that signaled incoming missile fire smacked Mike back to reality. He was but a few yards from the bunker that would protect him from the missiles that frequently rained down on the camp. He dove for the entrance but was seconds too late. Mike was almost at the entrance when the force of the blast propelled him headfirst against the walls designed to protect him. His protective vest absorbed the shrapnel that would have ripped into his torso but did little to save his arms and legs from the hot metal particles that swarmed through the air.

Julie Henley had just returned from Fort Benning’s elementary school where she volunteered three days a week when she heard the ring of her front doorbell. Opening the door, she gasped as standing on her porch were two uniformed Army officers. One she recognized as Mike’s commanding officer, Colonel Blakely. The second she knew better. He was her husband’s unit chaplain who she often heard at Sunday morning services at the post chapel. Only partially regaining her composure, Julie invited the two into her living room and the three of them sat down.

Every Army spouse knows there is no more dreaded sight than Army officers arriving at a military family’s home especially when a service member is deployed to a combat zone. All too frequently, the officers were visiting to tell the family that their loved one had been killed in combat and to begin coordination for the service member’s remains to be returned to the United States.

Once all were seated and seeing the obvious concern on Julie’s face, Colonel Blakely began, “Julie, your husband is alive. He was, however, seriously wounded. He has been taken on a medical evacuation flight from Afghanistan to Ramstein Air Force Base in Germany where there are more extensive medical facilities for his care.”

Attempting to fight back tears, Julie asked for more information about Mike’s wounds.

Colonel Blakely went through a detailed explanation of how Mike had sustained wounds from shrapnel to his arms and legs. While these would take some time to heal and would likely leave some scars the medical staff was not concerned about any long-term effects on his arms and legs.

“What they are more concerned about is the fact that Mike has not yet regained consciousness. He was very close to the blast that slammed his head into a wall. He is breathing on his own, but the doctors won’t know a great deal until he regains consciousness.

Julie’s tears began to flow. When Julie could once more speak, she asked, “May I go see him?”

Colonel Blakely spoke. “Julie, Mike is one of our own and the Army takes care of our own. We have planned for you to fly to Germany on a military cargo aircraft tomorrow at 0700 hours. Escorts will pick you up here and take you to the airfield and meet your plane at Ramstein and take you to the hospital. You will be with Mike tomorrow in Germany. Can you do that?”

“I can,” replied Julie.

When the two men departed, Julie made the required phone calls to friends and family members telling them about Mike and where she was going and promising to call again as soon as she had more information. Neighbors assured her they would look after her home while she was gone. She packed a carryon bag and tried to rest, but knowing Mike was hurt made sleep impossible.

Colonel Blakely was correct. Julie was picked up promptly and escorted onto a C5 Galaxy cargo plane that flew nonstop to Ramstein Air Force Base in Germany. Escorted off the plane and into a government car, Julie was at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center, less than 24 hours after being notified of Mike’s injuries

Arriving at the hospital, Julie was escorted to the Intensive Care Unit where Mike was being cared for. His primary physician, Dr. Calvetti, was on duty and introduced himself to Julie.

Julie did not mince her words, “How is my husband, Doctor?”

Dr. Calvetti spoke quickly, “I’m glad you are here; we have had some improvements but also some complications. First, your husband has regained consciousness, which is very positive. The complicating part is that he appears to have amnesia. He remembers nothing about the incident and not even his name. The tests we have been able to run show nothing that we would describe as permanent brain damage. It is possible that his memory loss is temporary. It is also possible that it is permanent. His other wounds from the shrapnel are superficial. They will heal”.

“May I see him?” asked Julie.

“Certainly,” replied the doctor “but be prepared he likely will not know who you are. Talk to him, answer any questions he has, and be very patient.”

Julie followed the doctor a short distance to the ICU. The unit was state of the art in medical technology and a nurse sat near Mike monitoring him 24/7. Mike turned his head slowly toward the approach of the doctor and Julie.

“Staff Sergeant Henley, there is someone here to see you,” announced the doctor.

Julie stepped forward and took Mike’s hand and leaned over the man she had loved since they first met. Mike said nothing and there was no recognition in his eyes.

“Mike, it’s me Julie. Do you know who I am?

“Are you another nurse?” Mike asked in a quiet voice.

“No Mike, I am your wife.”

“My wife? I’ve never been married.”

Julie’s tears began to flow and Dr. Calvetti called an end to the session. Julie managed to smile at Mike as she left with the doctor but inside, her heart was shattered into a million pieces. She was now a total stranger to the only man she had ever truly loved.

Dr. Calvetti took Julie to his office. It took her a few minutes to regain her composure. The doctor was patient.

Julie spoke first. “Where do we go from here, Doctor?”

“We are at the beginning of what could be a very long process with little change or improvements that could come around very quickly. We will not know from day to day what Mike’s mental state will be. It’s possible that he will never fully regain his memory. It is equally possible that his full memory will return soon. You may very well be the most important part of his recovery. If further testing comes back OK, tomorrow, I’ll have Mike moved to a private room. Talk to Mike whenever he wants to talk. Be truthful with him but always patient. Don’t allow him to get agitated. Tell him things that he does not know. Reintroduce him to his life. It will be very hard, but I and the staff here will be with you every step of the way.

“You’re probably exhausted after your flight. I understand that you have a reservation at the Guest House. I think your driver is still waiting. He can show you to the Guest House. We’ll see you tomorrow. I think with you here, Mike is in the best of hands.”

The driver drove Julie to the Guest House which was within walking distance of the hospital. She was given a comfortable room and told about the Guest House restaurant where food was available 24 hours a day. Julie was very thankful for the courtesy the military had shown her. She could not have imagined being taken care of any better.

The next morning Julie arrived back at the hospital to find Mike had already been moved to a private room. A nurse was attempting to feed Mike oatmeal when Julie arrived, which Mike was adamantly refusing. Julie offered that she would be happy to try to feed Mike but there would be a greater chance of success if they had served grits and toast with some scrambled eggs and black coffee. An inquisitive look crossed Mike’s face but he said nothing. The nurse departed and returned sometime later with the requested meal and thanked Julie for taking over. Mike begrudgingly allowed Julie to feed him but still seemed confused about the whole process.

After breakfast, Julie sat near Mike while he watched the news on the room’s television. His facial expressions were those of someone not really comprehending what he saw and heard; and occasionally he dozed off into a light sleep. The room stayed busy throughout the morning as nurses came by to check Mike’s status from the medical equipment that monitored just about every part of Mike’s body. Two nurses removed the bandages from Mike’s arms and legs and replaced them with clean ones giving Julie her first look at the wounds to Mike’s extremities. The wounds were ugly, but none appeared deep. Julie prayed a silent prayer of thanks that Mike would have full use of his arms and legs.

The afternoon was a little less hectic. Mike watched more television including some sports channels. Dr. Calvetti stopped by speaking briefly with Mike. He smiled at Julie on the way out while whispering, “Keep up the good work, you are doing great.”

Julie stayed with Mike until late. She considered staying throughout the night but realized how exhausted she was. She softly spoke, “Mike, I’m leaving now, but I will be back in the morning. Sleep well. I love you.”

“OK, thanks,” was Mike’s only reply.

The following day was very similar to the previous day, but Julie decided she was not going to wait too patiently. It was time to try a few things. She read where the hospital had a reading room where patients and family members could check out books. Mike had always been an avid reader and Julie found two books that she knew Mike had enjoyed. Julie’s plan was “More Reading, Less Television.” Mike was agreeable to Julie reading to him and seemed to like the books. Julie had been hopeful for some recognition of the books, but it was not to be.

As the first week passed, Julie looked for more things that Mike might recognize. Family members emailed photographs of their home and places they had been. Occasionally, Mike would show some interest in a particular place or photo but only briefly.

Mike’s physical health began to improve. When the bandages on his arms and legs were changed, the wounds showed signs of healing and appeared much less gruesome. Julie asked Dr. Calvetti if it might be possible for her to take Mike out of his room. She thought a change of scenery would be therapeutic. With the Doctor’s permission and the help of a nurse to get Mike into a wheelchair, Julie and Mike were soon a frequent sight moving along the hallways of the hospital. Together they found places with windows that allowed Mike views of the outside world. Mike seemed to smile more but the conversations between them were still limited. To Julie, Mike was her husband. To Mike, Julie was a stranger.

Near the end of the third week, Mike was allowed to walk short distances with the help of a walker. Every day, the distance increased and Dr. Calvetti ordered regimens of physical therapy. Mike grew stronger physically, but there was only minimal improvement in his recognition of the things he should be familiar with.

Julie had been in Germany for over a month when Dr. Calvetti asked her to come into his office. They spoke at length about Mike’s good physical progress and lack of mental advancement. Julie was surprised when Dr. Calvetti asked her if she would like to take Mike home.

“You’ve done tremendous work with Mike. No one could have worked harder to reintroduce Mike to his world.”

With a trembling voice, Julie asked, “Doctor, is Mike ever going to be the man I married. Will he be like he was before he was wounded?”

Dr. Calvetti paused for a minute, deep in thought. "I had been hopeful that he would be further along by now. I’m still hopeful, but there are no guarantees. I think it would be best if you took him home. The more familiar his surroundings, the more likely he is to progress. I would like to talk to him about you taking him home.”

Dr. Calvetti and Julie walked to Mike’s room and chatted with Mike before getting around to the real point of the discussion.

"Mike, how would you like to return to the United States. Physically you are well enough to go home. Julie has assured me that she will care for you just as she has been doing and to ensure that you get to your medical appointments that are still needed.

“You mean, I get to take my nurse home with me?” Mike asked.

The failure of Mike to understand that she was more than his nurse and was actually his wife who loved him dearly, wrenched Julie’s heart.

“Would you like to go back to your home at Fort Benning, Mike?” queried Dr. Calvetti.

“What’s at Fort Benning,” asked Mike? “I want to go home to North Carolina.”

The doctor looked quizzically at Julie.

“I can make it work,” said Julie. “That’s where we are from. My mother still lives there, and it is near Fort Bragg for any medical treatment Mike would need.”

Four days later, Mike and Julie touched down at Pope Air Force Base, North Carolina. Just as on her trip to Germany, everything was taken care of except waiting at the passenger terminal was Julie’s mother, Carol, ready to take them to her home for some good cooking and rest. Carol’s home was in Southern Pines, North Carolina, a short drive away. Julie had grown up there and Mike had been a frequent visitor when he and Julie had started dating. Mike was stationed at Fort Bragg. Julie’s Dad had passed away, but her mother had never moved from the small town she loved so much. The home was near a small park that overlooked a lake. Mike and Julie had walked around the lake many times.

Mike and Julie rested on the sofa where they had spent hours watching television and where he had slept often when visiting Julie. Carol cooked Mike’s favorite dish, meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and green beans. The three shared a wonderful meal. Throughout, Mike was polite but quiet. Julie thought she occasionally saw recognition in his eyes, but after a month of disappointment refused to get her hopes up.

After dinner, Mike asked if they could go for a walk. The day was unseasonably warm, so Julie quickly agreed. They walked the trail around the lake that they had walked so often before. When they came to a bench overlooking the lake where the two of them had sat together many times before, Julie suggested that they sit and rest for a few minutes. Mike looked at her and suggested, “Let’s go to the next bench. It’s more special.”

As they walked toward the next bench, a confused Julie asked, “What makes it special?”

“Well actually they are both special. The first one is where I wanted to ask you to marry me. When we got there, an elderly couple was sitting there, celebrating their wedding anniversary. They had been married sixty-five years. That is when I knew that I wanted a long marriage like that for us. We spoke to them briefly and then walked down to the other bench. That is where I got down on one knee and proposed to you. More importantly, that is where you said yes.”

An astounded Julie asked, “How do you know this?”

“Because, I remember, Julie. I may have a way to go but the most important things are starting to come back. And even if all my memories do not come back, we’ll start over and do it again. We’ll go back to the beginning and do whatever it takes. We’ll make new memories and when we have been married sixty-five years, we’ll still be making new memories. Even if I never remember anything else, I want to know that I am with you.

Julie placed her arms around Mike. They sat on the second bench in each other’s arms. Julie didn’t know if this was a continuation of her story with Mike or the start of a new story, but either way it was perfect.