Fiction Mystery Middle School

“Charlotte, Will, dinners ready!” my mom yelled to us upstairs.

I closed my computer with a long sigh because I was almost done with my story.

“One more minute!” Will yelled back downstairs. 

My brother was a huge fan of video games and just couldn’t stop playing them.

“NO!” mom said.

“Ughhhhh!Fine!”He said. I could hear his loud footsteps from all the way downstairs because he literally sounded like a herd of elephants.

When he got downstairs he sat down but realized his food wasn’t there for him on the table.

“Moooom,give me my food.” he yelled at mom.

I knew that we had to come up to the island to get food so I knew he was going to be in big trouble.

“You wanna get grounded for the next month?!” mom said.

“I’m coming.” he said as he got up from the table.

I laughed, and so did mom. We all sat down to eat dinner and we were having rigatoni and sausage. 

Over dinner Will kept on talking about the new gun that he got on his weird little Fortnite game on Nintendo. 

I personally thought that video games were boring, but Will definitely did not. 

He also told us that there was a new Fortnite song and that it went like this:

“We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we bout to get down. 

Ten kills on the board right now,just wiped out tomato town.

My friend just got downed, I revived him, now we're heading southbound.

Now we’re in the pleasant park streets,look at the map, and go to the marked sheet. Marked sheet, marked sheet.We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we bout to get down. 

Ten kills on the board right now,just wiped out tomato town.

My friend just got downed, I revived him, now we're heading southbound.

Now we’re in the pleasant park streets,look at the map, and go to the marked sheet. 

Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today, you can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake.

I really love to chug jug with you,we can be pro fortnite gamers.

He said: “hey broski”, got some heals and a shield pot?

I need healing and I am only at one hp,hey dude-


The song got so annoying that I had to just yell at him.

“Go to bed now Charlotte.” My dad told me.

“Fine! Also mom, do you have a charger?” I asked 

“Yes, in my nightstand.” she said softly

I went straight to the night stand but while I was in it I found a photo. 

It was a photo of these beautiful butterflies called bella noches.

It means a beautiful night. I flipped the photo over and read the back.

It read:Go.Escape.Never turn back. They’re coming for you.

Those words shook me like turbulence on a plane. Thoughts stirred around me. Who was coming for me? 

Where do I need to go? I looked closely at the picture and saw another rare species. I knew exactly where I needed to go. The Great Indian Rainforest.

There was more writing on the back but it was really small. I brought the picture close to my face and saw that it read:When you first read this, escape the day after.

I grabbed the charger and the picture, and went straight to my room.

I plugged in the charger, and started to charge my ipad.

I shoved the picture under my pillow and hoped it wouldn’t fall in the gap between the headboard and the mattress.

When I woke up I checked under the pillow and luckily the photo was there.

I shoved the photo into my crammed backpack and zipped it up.

Will and I came downstairs and ate our breakfast. 

After we ate, we went back upstairs to get dressed and went outside for the bus.

When we got on the bus we sat down in seat 16. We had to put our backpacks on our legs.

I got off the bus very quickly and ran inside.

We had the last bus so we were always late for school. 

I still had to make a plan to escape and go to The Great Indian Rainforest.

I figured that while I was in class I was going to ask to go to the bathroom and sneak out a window and then escape.

When we were in the middle of math I asked if I could use the bathroom.

Math was my least favorite subject so I was glad to be getting out of there.

I headed straight for the bathroom and opened the window.

I had to climb up to get out and luckily nobody saw me while I was in action.

I fell down the wall then began my great journey to The Great Indian Rainforest.

I looked up where it was on my phone and followed a path. While I was on my way I decided that I would need food and water for the trip.

I walked into my local grocery store, rays, and bought food and water.

I grabbed three gallons of water and 5 protein bars and one party size cheeto's puff bag.

I went to self -checkout and paid for all my things. I put it in a big plastic bag and continued on my journey.

After a couple hours of walking I got tired and needed to sit down.

I found a huge tree to sit under and climbed one of the branches.

When I got up on the branch, I opened up my backpack for a protein bar and cheeto's.

I got out the big bag and pulled it open. I ate about twenty cheeto puffs and then drank some water.

Meanwhile at home, Mom and Dad were looking all around town for me.

They even called the cops to come look for me. 

I was very far away from town, So they wouldn’t be able to find me.

I checked my phone to see how much longer I had, and it would probably take me about one day to get there.

After I ate I hopped down from the tree and saw a group of people coming towards me.

At first I thought they were regular people but when they got closer they did not look normal at all.

They started to run after me and I ran too. I ran as fast as I could and then remembered the photos writing.

They are coming. The people chasing me were “they”.

What would they want from me though. My necklace. That is what they want.

My grandma gave it to me for my sixth birthday as a lucky charm. I am thirteen now.

They all caught up to me and tackled me down to the floor.

I remembered that in my backpack I had an alarm so I grabbed it and pulled the chain.

The sound was so loud, almost deafening, you could hear it from miles away.

It deafened all of them and they fell to the floor with me not even noticing that my necklace wasn’t on my neck anymore. It was in the hands of someone else now.

Someone that should not be carrying that around. I walked off hearing a loud boom in the distance.

Should’ve known that the necklace had a security system and would blow up if someone else other than me had touched it.

I walked off, putting my hair in a bun with my maybe explosive scrunchie. Maybe.

July 19, 2021 16:32

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11:37 Jul 22, 2021

This sounds like the beginning of a great novel :) Absolutely spot on dialogue! I definitely need to see where this goes and I hope you write a sequel. Just a few grammatical issues: “Charlotte, Will, dinner's ready!” “Ughhhhh! Fine!” (You don't need another: He said) “Mooom, give me my food!” he whined. (Is he really going to yell at her.) Watch capitalization: Nintendo Fortnite Try varying your sentence structure. You use: I verb, I verb I verb -- far too many times. Try using other words instead of "said" -- https://owlcation.com/...


Thank you for the comment! I will make the edits on my story and check out that website. -Breckin N ;)


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F.O. Morier
09:14 Jul 29, 2021

hello thank you for this funny and lovely story! Fati


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Tricia Shulist
12:43 Jul 25, 2021

Interesting story. Thanks for this.


Your welcome! It was super fun to write!


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