Such a Finite Thing

“We’re running out of time,” came a raspy whisper from the bed as I tapped my foot anxiously running my hands over my knees.

Time…

Time…

Time was such a finite thing, and now after only fifty-two years of life, my mother had so much more time behind her than before her. I watched her labored breathing from across the room; the blue comforter rose and fell with her irregular breaths. The green top she wore was fresh and clean having been cleaned up this morning. A beige hat sat on top of her head that was once covered in fiery red hair that fell to her waist in wavy ringlets, but it had been shaved five years ago at the beginning of her treatments.

The only sound in the room was her labored breaths and the oxygen tank helping aid her frail body. I stood adjusting my flowered top, my socked feet not making a sound as I walked over to sit on the edge of her bed. I took her frail, chilled hand in mine her fingers had turned blue in the past twenty-four hours.

Her eyes left the window, her blue gaze cloudy as her eyes met mine. I smiled a small smile as I rubbed her hand until a simple smile spread across her face.

“Is he coming, Johanna?” mom asked again, the third time since lunch and it was only three o’clock.

“We’ll see,” I said to her softly, “Go ahead and rest, mama. I’ll wake you if he comes.”

She turned back to the window, the warm summer sun shining on her ghostly white face. A sigh left her lips as she closed her eyes, finally resting once more. I pulled my hand away to stand and walked back to my corner picking up my cellphone from the cream armchair. 

We don’t have much longer… I typed in the text message box.

I bit my lip anxiously as I hit send, the message being delivered in seconds. It soon flipped to 'read' as three dots appeared, a response on the way. I tapped my foot again watching between the three dots to my mother as the phone vibrated in my hands.

Trying our best. Love you…

I looked to the chestnut framed photo on my mother’s nightstand, the last photo of us all together. It was three years ago when Sawyer, my younger brother, left after basic training overseas to either Europe or the Middle East. His smiling face in the middle beamed his arms around Hailey, my sister, and I.

Mom had taken the photo in front of the house right before our uncle took him and our cousin to the airport, both joining the Army together. Mom was in remission then cancer having given her body a moment of reprieve before returning four months ago without remorse.

“I’m sorry,” the doctor had told us on that rainy day in March, “It’s only a matter of time.”

Time…

Time…

It was such a finite thing.

The sound of the front door opening caused me to hold my breath as I quietly slipped out of mom’s bedroom into the hallway leading to the living room. I sighed when seeing it was only my husband walking in with takeout bags in his hands, still in his uniform with a smile under his brown mustache. His hair was squashed under a baseball cap and his hazel eyes looked gray in the dim light of the room.

“Good afternoon, love,” he said softly, his deep voice reverberating in the still house, “I brought you something to eat. I figured you probably forgot.”

I smiled, nodding my head softly taking the bags from him and placing them on the coffee table. From the sofa, I could still see mom in her bed asleep once again. Peter removed his boots and blue jacket draping them over the kitchen chair as he came over to sit beside me.

“Has Hailey made it in?” he asked me gently.

“Not yet,” I said shaking my head, “We’re running out of time, Peter.”

I pulled out two hamburgers handing one to Peter before unwrapping one for myself. Quickly, I took a bite, having not eaten since a few bites of oatmeal this morning. 

The sound of mom rustling in the other room caused me to lay down the sandwich quickly going down the hallway back to her room. She was pulling away as if being pulled by some force from the window. She made a sound of resistance as I went over by her side to offer comfort.

“No, Jason,” she whispered roughly, “It’s not time.”

Time…

Time…

We were running out. Jason, my father who died in an accident when I was ten years old, had been gone for nearly twenty years. Tears came to my eyes as she struggled to stay with us; I knew she didn’t want to go, not yet.

The sound of the door caused my head to jerk upwards as I saw Peter stand quickly disappearing from my sight. I brushed a loose strand of my auburn hair from my face, my hand quickly returning to my mother’s as she harshly objected to things I could not see. She wanted to stay; I couldn’t blame her.

Hailey, my sister appeared around the corner throwing off her coat onto the nearest surface before running in and sitting on mom’s other side. Mom’s eyes twinkled and relaxed as she gazed at Hailey’s face. She looked so much like our mom that the resemblance was uncanny, except for her auburn hair was like mine.

“Mama,” Hailey began looking between us, “We have a surprise for you.”

I turned my head to see my brother, Sawyer standing in the doorway holding his camouflage hat in his hands as he quickly came beside me laying his large hand over mine and mom's intertwined hands. Mom’s gaze turned to him shining with pride. She removed her hand from Haileys bringing it to caress Sawyer’s face. His blue eyes and red hair resembled my mother perfectly, her darling redhead.

Mom looked from Sawyer to me to Hailey once more a gentle sigh escaping her lips.

“We’re running out of time,” she rasped, “I love you all.”

Her clouded blue eyes closed and the comforter draped over her stopped rising. The hand I held in mine went limp and her face slacked, death having taken over. Tears came for each of us as we held her for a moment longer.

Time…

Time…

Such a finite thing…