Loss for the world

The 19-year-old boy sat in his room, staring at the wall. He had just dropped out of college, and he knew his parents were going to be disappointed. His father had always wanted him to be a lawyer, just like his older brother. But the boy knew that law wasn't for him. He wanted to do something else, something that would make him happy.

He knew his father would never understand. His father was a traditional man, and he believed that the only way to be successful was to go to college and get a good job. But the boy didn't want to live his life according to his father's expectations. He wanted to find his own path.

He knew it would be hard to tell his parents, but he knew he had to do it. He took a deep breath and walked downstairs. His parents were in the living room, watching TV.

"Dad, Mom," he said. "I have something to tell you."

They turned to look at him, their faces full of concern.

"I've decided to drop out of college," he said.

There was a moment of silence. Then his father spoke.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "You can't drop out of college! You're going to be a lawyer, just like your brother."

"I don't want to be a lawyer," the boy said. "I want to do something else."

"But what else could you do?" his father asked. "You need a good education to get a good job."

"I'll figure something out," the boy said. "I just need some time to find my own path."

His father shook his head. "I don't understand you," he said. "You're throwing away your future."

"I'm not throwing away my future," the boy said. "I'm just trying to find my own way."

He turned and walked away, leaving his parents sitting in the living room, staring at each other in disbelief. They had always wanted the best for their son, and they had worked hard to provide him with a good education and a comfortable life. But now, it seemed like he was throwing it all away.

They didn't understand why he was doing this. He had a bright future ahead of him, and he was giving it all up for what? To "find his own way"? What did that even mean?

They were worried about him. They wanted him to be happy, but they also wanted him to be successful. And they didn't see how he could be successful if he didn't follow the path they had laid out for him.

They sat in silence for a long time, each lost in their own thoughts. Finally, the father spoke.

"I don't understand him," he said. "I thought we had raised him better than this."

The mother nodded. "Me neither," she said. "I don't know what to do."

The father sighed. "I guess we just have to wait and see," he said. "Maybe he'll come to his senses eventually."

The mother shook her head. "I don't think so," she said. "I think he's made up his mind."

The father sighed again. "Well, there's nothing we can do about it now," he said. "We just have to hope for the best."

The mother nodded. "I hope you're right," she said. "I hope he comes to his senses."

The father and mother sat in silence for a few more minutes, each lost in their own thoughts. Then, the father stood up.

"I'm going to go for a walk," he said. "I need some time to think."

The mother nodded. "Okay," she said. "I'll be here when you get back."

The father left the room, and the mother was left alone. She sat there for a long time, staring at the wall. She didn't know what to do. She was worried about her son, but she didn't know how to help him.

The boy knew it would be hard to make it on his own, but he was determined to find his own path in life. He knew that his father would never understand, but he hoped that one day, he would forgive him.

As the years passed he became successful without going to college and pursuing his dreams despite what his parents told him. 

Ultimately, his success, while achieved on his terms, doesn’t negate the inner journey he had to undergo. Success can mean different things to different people, and while the boy may have achieved financial or career success, the question of whether he made the right decision is deeply tied to his internal world: Did he grow into the person he was meant to be? Was he true to his own desires?

The message here is that self-authenticity—rooted in choices we make for our own growth—isn’t easy, but it’s often necessary. Pain and struggle are part of that growth, and time, patience, and self-compassion are crucial in finding out who we really are and what we truly need to thrive.

This reflection highlights the complexity of success and the journey toward self-authenticity. Success, especially when achieved on external terms, doesn't necessarily mean that one has aligned with their inner desires or true self. The boy's internal journey, shaped by the challenges he faced and the choices he made, raises deeper questions: Did he grow into the person he was destined to be? Did his achievements reflect his authentic self, or were they shaped by external pressures or societal expectations?

The idea of self-authenticity here emphasizes that personal growth often requires confronting difficult choices, enduring pain, and navigating struggles. It suggests that growth isn't always linear or painless, but requires time, patience, and self-compassion. In the end, true success may be found not in external accomplishments but in the alignment of one’s actions with their genuine desires, values, and needs. This deeper understanding of success, rooted in self-discovery, challenges the conventional notion of success and invites a more personal and introspective approach to fulfillment.

Every new June summer comes around but life still feels like same but the changes within me feel like I should go an adventure, Feelings start to fade no longer feeling the same affect of his sense of touch no longer feeling attraction to him just feeling a sense of withdrawal and a sense of something new coming along that feels right but isn’t the right time yet because this person needs to work on themselves and needs time to heal from God himself and only from Jesus Christ, Plant darkness is rise within us the sins we carry the heavy burdens on our hearts, the pain and anguish that doesn’t seem to fade away no matter how much we pray for the pain of trials and tribulation doesn’t seem to go away is it really producing growth or causing is to sin even more?

Wanting to embrace that inner childhood again the times playing on the swings, monkey bars the innocent little child all seems to fade away the only thing left is our memories the feeling of the past, the bad and good memories we take with us until  our  know memories fade as we age,  Inner child I want to resurrection that feeling of carefree and freedom of just doing whatever I want to not follow the rules of society to withdrawal myself from the human race to create my own ideal life in my own image and to escape from my own reality to live in my delusional fantasy of my life and to never have to worry about pain, hardship, sorrow, finance or anything to just be free and careless. 

Screaming souls that are dying from all the pain and distress of having no one to be true too it hurts knowing you’re carrying it all and nobody is willing to help you or they simply don’t know how to either everyone struggling and dying from hardships of life physically and spiritually, 

Screaming souls that are dying from all the pain and darkness that distress our souls are crying out from it all. It hurts to carry all of it on my own and nobody isn’t willing to help or simply don’t know how to its all too much struggling from the same pain the same circumstances and my soul just is like an punching bag taking all of these hurts it feels inevitable like there is no escaping it no matter how hard you try or pray it comes back to haunt you in your dreams and desire its like it can’t escape inside of you because the darkness also live’s within you too.

4o