Danger in the Woods

Kacie walked between the pine trees, sunlight trickling through the needles. A bit of smoke tinged the air, a remnant of the Canadian forests that burn each year. Each step she took she felt her heart lighten. Nature brought her to center. Something she definitely needed, more than ever.

She spoke to her mother that morning, as she washed their breakfast dishes by hand. Her mother always played Fox News in the morning, something that Kacie tuned out. She never cared for those talking heads, and her professors told her they were horrible people. She didn’t think her mother was a horrible person, but she never wanted to listen to the blathering heads.

Especially this morning, as her eyes for the first day in seven were dry this morning. Her fiance broke it off with her a week ago, dumping her in a rambling text message and then blocking her after he finished his message without giving her a chance to respond.

She spent the next week in bed, alternating between crying her eyes out, and binging Love Island. Her mother brought her food, leaving the tray at her door. Thankfully her mother didn’t speak, or ask what had happened. That morning, Kacie emerged, and her mother made her favorite breakfast, strawberry pancakes with powdered sugar and turkey sausage.

“You going back to school today, Kacie?” her mother asked, the real question she wanted to ask left unsaid but no less put forward.

“I don’t think so. I just need to get out of my room. I’m going for a walk. Catch my breath,” she bit into a strawberry, the tart sweetness mulled by the confectioners sugar.

Her mother paused briefly mid-wipe, before she responded, “You know, there is going to be an event on campus today, maybe you should find your way down there. Gonna be a lot of nice young men at that event.”

Ugh. That was the last thing that Kacie wanted. “Sure thing Mom. I’ll be back this afternoon. I’ll get some lunch while I’m out.”

“Take the yeti. You need to make sure you have plenty to drink.”

Kacie filled the cup with ice cubes and diet coke. She grabbed her Willy the Wolverine hat, and her well worn New Balance sneakers. The concrete sidewalk melted into brown needles before the sun broke over the distant mountains.

She sucked a deep breath into her lungs, rich natural air clearing out the deep pain she still felt in her middle. Kacie caught a tear, and wiped it away quickly. She didn’t want to think him right now. She rather think about birdsong.

The forest felt alive today. She watched two blue jays chasing each other between the branches. A robin chittered at an owl poking its head out of a hole in a tree. A squirrel munched on a walnut, staring at Kacie until she stepped on a stick and it scurried up a tree, and chastised her from the first branch above her head.

The sun kissed the back of her arms as it poked through the trees. Kacie rubbed her arms, her thin blond arm hair sticking up after she stopped her self-hug. She leaned up against the nearest tree, and reached into her backpack and took a drink from the yeti.

She wiggled her shoulder blades against the bark, scratching an itch between them. She slid down and sat at the foot of the tree, breathing in and out through her nose. For the millionth time, she played through the message her fiance, no ex-fiance had sent to her.

“Kacie, this isn’t working anymore. I know you think that this is coming out of nowhere, but its not. I fell in love with a beautiful young woman who lit up every room she came into, and was a pure joy to be around. I saw myself grow old with you. I truly did,” tears started again, as they did each time she replayed these words over and over again.

“I asked you to marry me, and to my eternal joy, you said yes. And then, things started to change, and not for the better. An ugliness has taken root in you, and I don’t know where it came from. This pours out from your pores, from your mouth, and from your eyes. There have been times I have been frightened to speak to you, tell you how I truly think, to be open with you,” a hawk screeched in the distance, punctuating his words.

“My dear Kacie, you became a different person in the last three months. My old Kacie is lost, and I can’t find her. You aren’t the same person, and now you aren’t someone I spend another moment with, much less marry. I hope you find your way back again.”

Those words burned into her soul. After she read that message, she broke her mirror. She didn’t want to even look at herself. She was blindsided. She didn’t know that is how he felt. He never said anything. Never once. He never told her before this. Why didn’t he?

She looked at her hands, her blue nail polish that matched her hair looking chipped and dulled. Kacie rubbed her eyes, and sighed. She was tired of tears. Her textbooks said that his was the behavior of a weak and cowardly man, one who lacked emotional intelligence and an abuser. How did she not see that before? And if that was the case, why was she the one who was crying?

A twig snapped near Kacie, and she snapped her head up to look at who caused it. A young man stood not thirty feet from her, frozen in his steps. He had on long green pants, a black shirt the bore an American flag with an eagle and a backpack. Behind him lay a long handled case that he apparently had lain against a tree.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

He mumbled something, and then cleared his throat. “Are you alone here?”

Kacie looked around, “Except for the birds.”

He breathed out, releasing some unknown tension. “Good, I can take a moment. What’s your name?”

“I’m Kacie. What’s yours?”

“They call me Tyler.”

“Do you go to school around here, Tyler?”

“No, I went to State for one semester.”

That was a bit weird. There was something off about this kid. “Oh, you must have come here for that event on campus today.”

He shifted on his feet. “You could say that.”

“I wouldn’t even be down there. I don’t support that kind of stuff. Such hateful rhetoric,” as the words left her mouth, a strange smile crept over Tyler’s face.

“Great. Me too. I don’t think that its going to be a problem any more. I’m glad you think so.”

A shiver worked its way up from her bowels, crawling up her spine and causing her eye to twitch. She felt wrong as he said that. “Cool. So you have a girlfriend so something?”

His eyes glazed over for a moment. “No, yes. She is transitioning, but we are in love. I’m so lucky to have her.”

That shiver tightened into a knife. “That is so awesome. You should be proud of that. You can look past all that and love who you love.”

Tyler glowered at her, and she pushed herself against the tree. Suddenly she wanted to leave, and not be here. “How dare you? Past all that? What a bigoted way at looking at our love. What kind of person are you? How dare you speak to me like that?”

She straightened her legs, scraping bark off with her backpack as she stood up. He stayed where he was, but Kacie felt a darkness emanate from him. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. I apologize.”

“You better. You need to think about what you said. Otherwise, you might find yourself on the wrong side of things. And somebody might do something about that.”

Kacie looked around. She saw no one else in the forest. No one to come to her rescue. She could run, but this kid could catch her. He looked fast. Could she fight him off?

He also had a backpack on. He could have weapons in that. All she had was a heavy metal cup filled with diet coke. “Please, I’m not feeling safe. I didn’t mean anything about it.”

Tyler exhaled deeply. “You better watch yourself. You don’t want to be a bigot don’t you? Bigots get what’s coming to them. What are you doing out here? You aren’t one of those people are you?”

Her stomach started to twist on itself, shooting daggers throughout her body. “What people? I’m just here to grab a bit of nature.”

He glared at her. Tyler took a step towards her, and his pale fingers clenched into a fist, his knuckles pushing his skin into points that bleached out the color. “I’m starting to not believe you. You first appeared to be a good person, but a good person doesn’t look past the hate you expressed. I think you might be from that event back there.”

Kacie held up her hands, palms out. Once, her ex-fiance raised his voice to her. She couldn’t remember right now what he was angry about, but she remembered that he was afraid of him for a moment. Now, she knew that wasn’t real fear. She thought she knew malevolence. She never saw the look in her ex-fiance’s eyes that she now saw in Tyler’s. He had done something evil. “What can I say to you to help you understand I’m not a bigot?”

He licked his lips, obviously considering her words. He didn’t unclench his fist, but he took no further steps toward her. “I don’t know. Your words were violence to me. Not accepting my relationship, or her affirming care. You are just like him.”

“I’m like who? I never said I didn’t accept your relationship. I just met you. I don’t know your girlfriend. Why are you doing this to me?”

A bit of spittle appeared at the corner of Tyler’s mouth. “I punch bigots. I do more than that. How dare you question me?”

Bile rose up Kacie’s throat. And then she knew why her ex had left. She had told him not three weeks ago those exact same words. How dare you? She went on a rant that her professor explained about the gender pay gap. Her ex listened quietly, and then started to say that it wasn’t real. She felt betrayed, and slapped him on his shoulder and said those words.

It all started flooding back to her. Many of the things Tyler had said to her, she had repeated. Had her ex seen that same malevolence she saw now? Tears welled up in her eyes. Not for what she lost, but because she didn’t know what she became.

Tyler looked confused. A fat tear streamed down Kacie’s face. She pushed the knife away that pricked her guts. Her ex had enough, but wasn’t strong enough to say it to her face. She also didn’t threaten to hurt him. She just wanted to make it back to her mom, feel her arms wrapped around her, and make the bad go away. To get there, she needed to do better.

“Listen asshole. I apologized, and I’m not going to do it again,” Kacie took two steps toward Tyler. He stepped back, stumbling at bit over a twig.

“You hear me? I’m sick and tired of you Tyler. You are a wretched person. I don’t care who you love. Go have a nice life, but leave me out of it.”

Tyler started to open his mouth, but nothing came out. A distant siren crept through the trees, and then Tyler unclenched his fists. He, without responding, turned on his heel, and started to run through the pines.

Kacie watched him until she could no longer see him, vanishing behind a shroud of shadow underneath the canopy. Her knees trembled, and she dropped to the forest floor, heaving diet coke into the browning needles. Every part of her body hurt, shaking from adrenaline. Sweat dripped from her forehead, and her skin felt cold.

She could hear the birds again. Chirping and singing. The squirrel poked his head back out, looking relieved.

***

“Mom, are you here?” Kacie tried not to slam the screen door, but she didn’t catch it when it swung back.

Silence greeted her, and her stomach fell out, again. Then her mom’s voice came from the back. “I’m here on the porch.”

Kacie rushed out, her mother sitting in a patio chair and a pitcher of Arnold Palmer next to her. “Mom!”

“Kacie, what’s wrong? Come here child!”

She leapt into her mother’s arms. Kacie felt warm, safe, and content. The horror of the afternoon melted away. “I met someone on my walk Mom. Someone horrible.”

She squeezed Kacie tighter. “Oh no. I’m so glad you made it back home safe. Did you want to call the police? Did he hurt you?”

“No, he just scared me. But I stood up to him, and scared him off.”

“My brave girl! I am so proud of you!”

***

Kacie snuggled under her covers, searching for a new episode of Love Island. She wasn’t crying anymore, but she felt like she was coming out of her own personal woods. She found the latest video, and clicked on it. She pulled the blanket close and a smile crept over the face. Turmoil began to fade away. Then there was a knock on her door.

“Kacie, can I come in?”

“Yes, Mom. What’s up?”

“I just want to make sure you are safe. Something horrible happened on campus today. Oh my God, something horrible just happened. My God, Kacie, my God.”