Blades of Glory: Rising Above the Ice

Championship day. My time to shine. I would do anything to skip class today and practice for the ice skating championship. My team needs me and I can’t do my best if I’m in class. I’ve been the lead skater representing our team at championships and helping coaches choreograph the younger students’ routines. The only good thing was tomorrow was the last day of school but the bad thing was today is one of my finals in Algebra 2. After this year I can finally be homeschooled which gives me a lot more time in the day for ice skating. I wasn’t able to be homeschooled in previous years since I’d always end up on the waitlist. I started skating at 2 years old and have been spending about 30-40 hours a week skating on top of almost 35-40 hours of school. Right after the school day was over, I would head straight to practice for about 8 hours. Ever since I was 4 years old, I never wanted to step off the rink. The adrenaline beforehand and throughout the entire routine is one of my favorite parts of skating. 

Mom reassured me to push through the exam and before I know it, I'd be at the competition. My mom was my top supporter, I hated disappointing her and I took all of her opinions to heart. I did not want her to think that I could not balance school and ice skating. She always reminded me that it is difficult and to not be hard on myself, but at the end of the day she is one the reasons I keep going, so failure today was not an option. I prepared for today’s final every 15 minute break I got in between ice skating practice and made sure to spend time on each concept throughout the whole year. I got to the exam room, we had 90 minutes for 40 questions and when the teacher said to start, my brain immediately thought of competition. I tried my hardest to block it out and told myself that if I don’t do well on this exam my mood will be down before my routine at competition. I was prepared for all the multiple choice questions that the teacher asked, but there were a couple extended response questions that had multiple parts and combined concepts throughout the year. I told myself that at least there was partial credit and those were the only few questions that I was unsure about.  

Mom picked me up after school and asked me how the exam went. I told her that I knew almost everything except some of the extended response sections. She asked me what I think I got but I told her I couldn’t tell her. That was always my response to that question because I really couldn’t tell and I feel brain dead after exams. She brought me lunch and a bunch of snacks to eat in the car as we headed to a competition which was in an hour. She brought my duffel bag which had my competition outfit, tights, and skates. My mom always helped me get my bag and outfits ready beforehand so I wasn’t stressed the day of competition. I procrastinate and focus on my routine instead of also getting my things ready, so my mom really keeps me in check and reminds me that all the details matter, not just the routine. 

I started stretching and doing warmups on the ice rink. All the competitors share a corner of the ice rink. The whole competition arena is decorated with white twinkling lights and winter trees covered with snow all around the ice rink, making it feel like a winter wonderland. This is one of the largest national championships of the year so they go all out with decorations. I am the first competitor on the stage which gives me an advantage since I won’t have anyone to compare myself to. The only disadvantage is I don’t know what score I have to beat in order to win. 

My short program routine is a darker piece and my outfit is dark blue that transitions to black at the bottom. The music was dark classical music to match my portrayal of a moody and dark evil princess. This was one of my favorite routines I’ve ever done since I love portraying dark characters. The most difficult part of this routine was the quadruple lutz. It was my favorite signature move, but I have to make sure I have the right speed going into and out of the turn. I have been working on perfecting this move for years and I always add it to every piece I do.

Coach came over and walked through the routine with me. I rehearsed it on solid ground with her and she told me to focus on the technique, but also to not forget to sell the story of the routine. She reminded me that I always do great because of my passion and I make it look easy, so today will be no exception. Skating has always been when I’m my most confident because it’s a way for me to express myself in ways words can’t. Perfecting each move and having the right momentum and speed into and between every turn was my favorite part. To make it seem like anyone can skate and anyone can do a quadruple lutz. 

It was finally time for me to perform my routine. My mom and coach were both by the entrance of the ice rink cheering me on. My name was announced and I skated in circles to the center of the stage as the audience applauded. I positioned myself in my starting pose of the routine, one blade fully on the ground and the other blade on its tip. Both arms gracefully reached out to my side to complete the dark composure. The music began and I started building my momentum for my first easier jump, a basic salchow. I started to skate backwards to approach the jump correctly and when I got closer to the edge of the rink and the proper speed, I propelled myself off the ground with my right foot, trying to get as much height as possible, before landing on my left foot. I was happy with how it turned out and the adrenaline from it helped me build my momentum for the next jump, the loop. This was very similar to the salchow except I had to land on the same foot I started with. I got about the same height on both jumps so I couldn't be happier.

It was finally time for my signature move, the quadruple lutz. The quadruple lutz looks and feels like the fastest jump for me, so I had to build up speed before going into it. I had to get the most height to do this correctly since it was 4 turns in the air before I landed on the ground. I skated around the rink doing a couple easy three turns and loop turns, matching the beat of the music to the timing of the turns. This started to help me build speed, so I kept skating until I finally propelled myself off the ground putting my foot over the other and tugged my arms close to my chest completing the four turns and landing effortlessly. I transitioned to the center of the ice rink to complete my routine with camel spins close to the ground, one leg being stretched out and the famous biellmann spin, where I was stretching my leg behind me up into the air and spinning. I finally started slowing down to end my routine in the same position I started with. 

When I finished the crowd was cheering and flowers were thrown out to me. I noticed there were nervous looks on the audience members faces, so I was very confused as to what was happening. I looked to where my mom and coach were and my mom also looked worried, but proud and coach wasn’t there. I skated over to her and took off my skates. She hugged me and told me how amazing I did, but I knew there was something wrong. I was too out of breath to ask immediately but I saw coach arguing with the competition’s director. The director comes over to me and tells me I’m disqualified today and for the rest of the season. My hopes and dreams flashed before my eyes and I was completely shattered inside. I was confused and I didn’t know how to react. My name had a red line on the leaderboard instead of showing my score. The director explains my drug test came in showing I was abusing drugs to improve my endurance. I was very confused. The competition directors approved our drug tests the week before our competition and I already was approved to continue. Coach keeps stating to the director that there is a mistake, but no one’s listening to her. 

The three of us are leaving the competition, coach telling me that this is sabotage. Someone has taken the original copy of the drug test and changed it. The drug test showed that I tested positive for Meldonium, an illegal drug for athletes that helps with metabolism. We all arrived at my house and coach immediately told me to find the second copy of the drug test. Everyone was always given two copies when they got their drug test done. Mom and I always placed the second copies in a box in the attic filed by date. When we went to the attic and went straight to the file it should be under, there was nothing there. My heart sank and I started to spiral wondering where it went. We took out every paper from that box to make sure we didn’t place it in the wrong file. We spent around 3 hours looking through each one and nothing.  

Coach exclaimed that we must tell the directors to call the drug testing agency because there is a mistake. This is nothing else but sabotage. We couldn’t think of who would want to sabotage me, but at the same time I didn’t care, I simply wanted to be back in the competition. Coach called the director she spoke to at the competition and the director surprisingly agreed to check the drug agency’s copy. The three of us went to the agency right away and they showed us what they had on file. It was, to my relief, the right copy, showing that I didn’t test positive for any illegal drugs in my system. We got the copy and brought it to the director, who took it inside to compare. He came back looking very perplexed and agreed that something was wrong here. He also told us his final decision. He would be ending the championship and the rest of the season until a new system is in place for drug testing. He told us that if mine had a mistake or sabotage, other people in the competition might have this issue as well, so it wasn’t fair for anyone. 

My initial reaction was happy that we got it figured out, but the intrusive thoughts in the back of my mind started to come up. What was I gonna do for the rest of the season? I can’t wait until next year to compete again. The idea of not having a competition gave me extreme anxiety. I would still have practice as usual, but the joy and adrenaline of going out on the ice was gone for the rest of the year. 

Mom, Coach, and I all headed back home again and coach sat us down talking us through her game plan. She said I was still going to have the same schedule in terms of practice, just less stress and intensity since I am not competing. I wouldn’t have to rush to practice right after school for a while and as long as I spend 4 hours practicing a day instead of 6 when there was competition I would be fine. To me, it felt like I had too much free time in the day now. I’m so used to having a constant busy schedule I didn’t know how I was going to fill my time. Mom told me to view this as a recovery season with less intensity and stress, I just saw it as boredom. 

Now it was the final day of school. Which also reminds me that I’ll have 6 more hours of free time in the day, since next year’s homeschooling doesn’t start until fall. I ended up doing amazing on my Algebra 2 final, getting an A and I was extremely happy and excited to tell my mom when I got home. The last thing to do on my last day of school was go meet the principal before I transitioned to homeschooling. The principal told me how proud he was to see a young athlete in his school achieve big things and have great ambitions. He heard about the ice skating season ending due to the incident that took place. The principal told me that the true display of a person’s passion is how they turn to it and discipline themselves when their passion seems as though it is fleeting. He stated that this is how you can really tell if someone is really ambitious or not. I smiled and asked if he got this quote from a movie or a book. He chuckled and said it was actually his own and something he lives by daily. He encouraged me to be creative and think of ways I can still use my passion for skating so it doesn’t feel like it’s all over. He also reminded me to stay focused when homeschooling and the skating season starts back up again because even though it’ll be less intense for school I still have to manage my time well regardless. I told him that I really prioritized both school and skating and that I would visit him in the future. 

I bid farewell to in person school forever and went home. I really thought of what my principal said and started brainstorming ideas. I thought of a few really dumb ideas at first. Hosting my own imaginary competition, staying in the studio the majority of the day, but then finally a lightbulb came on. My heart burst with excitement with the idea, but I told myself to calm down to make sure it was realistic. My idea was to host my own classes where we train the younger kids on our team. I always was an assistant to coaches as I helped them, but now I could choreograph their routines on my own. I asked coach immediately and she said yes and that she was proud of me for wanting to help them with competition season being over. She also told me that after I helped them for a few hours, it would be my turn to practice one on one with her on new jumps, spins, and turns that are seen at the Olympics. I was extremely excited for summer and was proud of myself for not letting the season being over affect me. In the end, things happen for a reason and even though an incident that comes up feels awful at first, the right positive mindset can get you through anything. I realized that this incident happened to push me to the next level of my skating career and also is training me to help the younger skaters out there. The past season is over. The new season is just beginning.