THE BIG DAY

‘Noma are you ready? Your set is up next. Remember, all eyes are on you. You cannot afford to mess this one up; they are all counting on you, let’s go chop! Chop!’ my manager said clapping her hands.

‘Wait!! I just need a minute. I'm not feeling good, I can’t breathe’ i replied clutching my chest. I need to...

Before i could even get the words out, I vomited all over the floor, some of the vomit even spattered on my high heels.

‘No! No! No! This can’t be happening I thought to myself’  ‘I don’t feel so well’ i said now clutching my tummy.

Everything was spinning, my head felt so faint, i was growing weaker by the second. This couldn't happen right now, this was supposed to be my day, and I felt everything around me slowly starting to grow dark

‘Noma! i heard someone calling my name. The sound of my name was faint but I could hear it growing louder and louder, was it my manager? Everything was ruined.

‘Noma! I felt someone shaking me while shouting out my name. Damn girl wake up! The shaking grew more intense; i opened my eyes and woke up with a jerk on the bed panting heavily.

I looked around my room and felt around the bed; thank goodness i was in my room! What a nightmare. I checked the time; it was just a minute past midnight, ‘sigh’ meaning it was only a couple of hours left before my performance ooh lord! I felt my anxiety starting to kick back in.

‘Having a nightmare’, Destiny asked.

I looked back at her in shock. My mind seemed to be doing a number on me, how could I forget that this was not my room and I was a long way from home. I began to sort everything back together in my brain.

I completely forgot that i was sharing the room with Destiny. I could only imagine what she thought of me right now, my face morphed in embarrassment. Destiny was kneeling right beside my bed, probably feeling sorry for the pathetic girl who couldn’t stomach the thought of performing in front of a huge crowd.

What a nightmare! I scoffed at myself. Since when did I get a manager, the thought alone made me let out a little chuckle.

‘Aaaah Yes! Yes!  I replied in a squeaky voice. ‘Thanks for waking me up’, i couldn’t bear to look Destiny straight in the face. I just settled on giving a straight answer while staring directly at my toes, I slowly raised my head and looked back at her, I realised she had been waiting for me to reply all this time.

'Its okay girl, it happens to all of us. I used to have those a lot you know. I remember my first audition at school, I literally froze on stage. I couldn’t do it but I got better with time; not to mention my official first audition it was even worse’, she said whispering. I couldn't sleep, not even a wink. I still get nervous a bit but I decided a long time ago that I was never going to let fear stop me from pursuing my dream and here I am today, taddddda!’

I laughed a little at the last confession; the mood felt a bit lighter than before.  I could finally breathe.

‘Don’t be too hard on yourself, trust the process and go with the flow. When you get on that stage and you finally sing that song trust me girl, nothing will stand in your way.

'Thanks Destiny' i replied

‘Now get some sleep' we have a long day ahead of us. Tomorrow we are going to have to sing our lungs out’ she said laughing. She made her way back to her bed across the room.

‘I would say goodnight, but it’s already morning, tomorrow then.'

‘Sure’ i replied.

 Destiny seemed like a nice person, I thought to myself. We found out we were both auditioning for the singing competition when we were paired together to share the same room. We had barely talked the previous day because everyone was tired from the five hour road trip. When we arrived at Hose hotel we had gone straight to our rooms in pairs and showered. After dinner everyone had gone straight to bed.

I knew Destiny was now asleep from the slight snoring. I just couldn’t, my stomach was still tied up in knots. I felt anxious about my performance. I didn’t want to go back home after just one audition. I wanted to make it to the finals and make myself proud and my sister Lucy. It was just her and I against the world and i couldn't have it any other way. Unfortunately she couldn’t come and watch my audition because of work, I was a bit disappointed but I understood.

Ever since I can remember I have always wanted to be a singer, my only problem was that huge crowds terrified me. The thought of performing in front of judges and all those people watching with their overly keen eyes made me shudder.

'Ooooh No! I jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom in full speed. I quickly sat on the chamber and unleashed the fury that was happening in my stomach, hopefully for Destiny’s sake the toilet was sound proof.

Who am I kidding, talk about embarrassing; who gets a case of diarrhoea on the day that she is supposed to perform. I sat on the toilet sit after finishing my business. The growling sound made me clutch my tummy and tightly close my eyes.

‘Fingers crossed, I hope I won’t vomit like in my dream’ I thought to myself.

 After washing my hands I looked at myself in the mirror, deciding on whether to open the door and get back in the room or to wait a bit.

What is happening to me? The mirror didn’t have the answer either. I felt a tear slip from my right eye; I watched it roll down my cheek. I can’t believe I’m going through all this because of a performance! How pathetic Noma. What am I really afraid of? I asked myself. Just great I am now talking to myself, fantastic. I looked at my hands, they both felt cold and sweaty all of sudden. I rubbed them on my pyjamas but they still feel damp.

 I got back into our room, I looked over at Destiny and thankfully she was sound asleep. I quickly slipped under my covers and started to count down numbers till I felt my eyelids growing heavy.

‘Hey wake up, its time’ Destiny said

I yawned and got out of bed. This was it, the big day. It had finally arrived, it was here. I was excited but my excitement was short-lived when I thought of what lay ahead, all the nervousness and the uneasy feeling in my stomach came rushing back.

‘I have already showered, the bathroom is free’. Breakfast is in two hours so you better hurry we don’t want to be late plus we have got to get our makeup on ‘point and on sight’ Destiny said laughing.

I couldn’t help but laugh in turn, ‘Alright girl I will be quick’

‘You can do this, You can do this, Let’s do this I told myself over and over again while looking at the mirror. I sang my song two times in front of the mirror and somehow I managed to smile through my mock performance.

After showering and dressing we made our way to the dining room for breakfast. It seemed we a tad bit late, the place was already buzzing with noise and from contestants, and it was quite huge.

After breakfast we were taken to the screening room. In the screening room they checked your documents and gave you a performance number. All you had to do after screening was wait for your name to be called upon.

When it was now my turn, i made my way to the front and collected my performance number. I could tell that my hands were trembling , I couldn’t even feel my own step. My knees and legs felt Jelly.

I quickly got verified and made my way to the rest of the line waiting to go into the judges room and perform my set piece. Destiny and I had somehow gotten separated by numbering she was contestant forty-five and I was twenty. We had exchanged numbers so hopefully we would keep in touch; she was such a nice person.

I plugged in my earphones in an effort to calm my breathing, why was my breathing rapid all of a sudden; I felt my pulse racing at an alarming rate.

Closing my eyes, I attentively listened to my song~Like a sparrow by Jeffrey Coleman, it was an all-time classic. I had fallen in love with the song from the very first time I heard it, it had been stuck in my head since.

‘Contestant number eighteen you are up next’ the presenter announced.

Say what now! I am not ready yet. I know it’s not my turn but I am still not ready, just one more person and it’s my turn, this has to be a joke. I glanced around me nervously and everyone seemed to be minding their business, some even practising their singing.

I looked up and saw contestant 17 on the television screen, singing her heart out, She was not the best of singers out there buts she sure was promising. The judges all refused to see her through the audition, she had to go back home, that was not fair, they hadn’t given her a fighting chance.

‘You are still young; there is still plenty of time to hone your skills’ they said.

 Are you kidding! Was that supposed to make her feel better?

My vision blurred as I saw her coming out of the room crying her lungs out. I felt nauseous all of a sudden; I mentally scolded myself to pull myself together. I could tell the girl on my left also noticed that my breathing was coming out in huffs. ‘Just mind your business girl ‘I thought to myself. I slowly began to count from zero to ten to calm my nerves.

I watched as contestant nineteen made his way to the judges and spectators, I admired his confidence, his voice was out of this world, he awed everyone, I was jealous.

Finally my name was called; I stood up on wobbly legs and followed the presenter to the main stage. All the way to the stage I kept repeating a little mantra of my own. ‘I could do this’

‘Introduce yourself young lady and what are you going to be singing for us tonight? ‘one of the judges asked

‘I froze for a minute, I managed to fumble through my words,’ ‘My name is Noma Stevens. I am seventeen years old and I have always loved to sing. I live with my sister in Brisbane and I do hope you guys enjoy my performance’.

In that moment something clicked in my head. I can sing! I love to sing! Singing makes me feel good, i hope it will make the judges feel good as well.

‘I am going to be singing Like a sparrow by Jeffrey Coleman.

‘Take it away then Noma’.

I could hear Destiny’s voice telling me to block everything out and focus on my singing. In that moment I decided to focus on myself and blocking out everything around me, I closed my eyes and did what I love best, singing my heart out.