WE ARE THE RIVER

WE ARE THE RIVER

By Joy Strouse

From the sky, the Magothy River is a brown lizard that crawls through trees, camps, and houses big and small, until it opens its mouth and spills its algal contents into the Chesapeake Bay. Its water is dark and cool and home to my brother and me.

I grew up in a small wood-frame house surrounded by pines and sycamores atop a clay-laced bank that overlooked its sandy shore. Twenty stairs wound down the bank to a wooden pier that we shared with our neighbors. Their house was further up the lane and could barely be seen through the trees.

Because of the clay and algae, my baby sister and I were never allowed white bathing suits. Just a short swim would stain them brown. Because the water was opaque, I couldn’t see the fish and seaweed that bumped against me as I swam. By August, sea nettles were inevitable and mom kept meat tenderizer on the pier for our stings. Those things didn’t bother me.

Our fleet consisted of a 14-foot day sailor and an old wooden canoe pulled up on the beach instead of big fancy Yachts moored in slips with electricity like the folks across the river. I didn’t care.

This was my home and in my eyes, nothing could be better than life on the Magothy.

In the mornings, the raucous call of crows served as our alarm clock and in the evening the whippoorwill’s song was our lullaby. In summer when the sticky heat enveloped the state, I had the shade of tall trees and the wet of the river. In winter, we had a skating rink right in our backyard. Instead of play-doh, I created sculptures with the red and yellow clay I dug from the cliff beside our pier.

My brother, Billy, and I shared a room when I was little but when he turned fifteen, and I was nine our parents thought we were too old to share. They moved my bed into my baby sister’s room, but on stormy nights they would find me snuggled in next to him.

My mother would shake her head and say, “You are too old, Miss Maggie, to share a bed with your brother,” and shoo me out.

“But why?” I’d whine. I never got an answer from her.

She died that year, just after my birthday dinner. I blew out my candles and she cut the cake, smiled at me and collapsed on the floor. The 911 guys took her to the hospital and she never came home; heart attack they said. My tenth birthday broke her heart.

After that, taking care of Tammy, my baby sister, fell to me and Billy became what he called ‘Chief Cook and Bottle Washer.’ Billy was also a ‘Jack of All Trades’ and did jobs around the neighborhood: split firewood, sanded and painted boat hulls, repaired piers, and other things that needed fixing.

The teenage girls were crazy over Billy with his broad shoulders, big brown eyes, and dark curls. Heck, everybody loved him, me most of all.

Daddy worked construction and most days came home exhausted, and after he ate supper with us, he crawled into a bottle, and passed out on the sofa until dawn. On weekends he tried to be our dad, but you could tell without mom around his heart just wasn’t in it. His heart broke with hers.

When school started, Tammy was only three, so I’d get her dressed and take her to Miss Elaine, our neighbor, who moved in that same year. When I got off the bus, I’d come get her and hang around there some. Miss Elaine was young and real pretty with long blond hair, straight and shiny, unlike my dark mop that frizzed up in the humid air. She took pity on me living without a mom and would give me fashion tips and share her makeup and nail polish. Her son, Henry, was a year younger than me and rode my bus. He was skinny and wore glasses that always slid down his stuffy nose. He was quiet, mostly I think, cause kids picked on him, called him snot nose on account of his allergies, until Billy got wind.

He climbed on our bus with us one morning and announced, “You mess with Henry, you mess with me, capeesh?” (He heard that in a gangster movie and it became his word)

Anyway, the kids may not have known what capeesh meant, but they got Billy’s message loud and clear. Billy, at 16, was pure muscle and nobody messed with him. After that, Henry loosened up a little, and him and me became friends. We set up some crab lines off the pier and Miss Elaine gave us chicken necks for bait. That first week in October, we caught enough crabs for Miss Elaine to steam up for supper. Nothing like the smell of blue crabs and Old Bay Seasoning steaming in the pot! Daddy drove up to the store and got a watermelon and ice cream, and we had a regular party. Billy got out his archery set and showed Henry how to pull back, aim and let fly to the target. After a few times of scraping his arm, he got the hang of it and Billy told him he was a natural. Henry beamed like a headlight.

Henry and me got to feeling comfortable enough with each other to talk about important stuff. I told him sometimes I missed my mom so much my body ached, and how I felt mad at my mom for leaving me. Then I’d feel mad at myself for feeling mad at her Henry said he felt that about his dad when he left, but a year later, his dad came back and that was worse.

He was methodically opening Oreos when he gave me the full scoop. He unscrewed three and stacked the empty sides, “My daddy was mean when he came back. He used to hit Mommy and me. Worst part was I never knew when the shit storm was gonna rain down. It came outta the blue,” he licked the full sides, one by one, “Mommy got a prestaining order,” he said with authority and a white tongue. “Means he can’t come around us or they’ll lock him in jail. If I see him I’m sposed to yell and run.” He stacked the 6 bare cookies, neatly aligned them, “I got Billy now,” and slammed his fist down with amazing force, crushing them to bits.

Life moved along just like the river, glowing gold in fall, growing sharp and icy at the edges in winter and swelling with hope in spring. On the last day of school, Billy met me and Henry at the bus and we ran down the lane, throwing books and lunch boxes as we went. Down the wooden stairs to our pier, we ran, and with a manic holler, jumped off the end, fully clothed. Henry didn’t even take his glasses off, just held em on his face over his big-toothed grin.

Summer was here and the living was easy! I could hear Miss Elaine singing that song as she brought Tammy down to swim with us. Billy threw us up in the air one at a time, and we smacked through the surface and submerged. When we popped back up, Tammy squealed with glee.

Finally exhausted, Henry climbed the ladder and I climbed on Billy’s back and let him carry me up to the calescent planks of the pier. Miss Elaine brought down Pretzels and Cokes and I laid back in the sun content as could be, wet and warm and smelling of the river, a rich alive smell. Billy had his boom box tuned to WKTK and “Footloose” came on. Miss Elaine started dancing right there on the pier in her bikini and she pulled me up to dance, and Henry got up too. Billy just watched, mesmerized by Miss Elaine’s moves.

We heard daddy’s truck pull in and Miss Elaine told me to go tell him come to supper, she was frying chicken. We all went to put on dry clothes and met back at the picnic table for supper. Daddy brought a jug of wine over, instead of his regular whiskey and he even put on a clean shirt, combed his curly hair and shaved his stubbly chin!

The boom box was playing and after supper, Miss Elaine pulled daddy up to dance and then Billy, who looked mighty self-conscious and probly wouldn’t have done it except he’d been nipping from the wine jug all night.

I saw him pouring some in his cup and he put his finger to his lips, “Shh, capeesh?”

He held the cup out to me, and I took a sip. It was the worst thing I ever tasted! Billy laughed at my scrunched-up face. He downed the rest of the wine and twirled me around until I fell into daddy who was dancing with Miss Elaine and we all laughed.

When it was bedtime, Henry asked could I stay over in his tent and they said sure, so we zipped ourselves in with sleeping bags, flashlights and twinkies. It was the best day I had since Mommy died, for sure, and I fell asleep smiling.

About Midnight, I guess, I heard a noise mixed in with the whippoorwills, kind of a moaning sound. Henry was snoring softly, with half a twinkie in his hand. Real quiet, I unzipped the tent to investigate.

I got to the stairs to the pier and stopped short. The moon’s light just reached to the bottom step and glinted on Miss Elaine’s blond hair. She was crouched down. Her head was thrown back, eyes closed and mouth open, and she made that moan again. The wind blew the treetops and the moon peeked a little farther and shown on the back of a curly head. It was him she was crouched on.

I quick tiptoed back to the tent and never said a word.

The summer wore on and I kept an eye out for the clandestine meetings. A couple times I snuck from my bed after our families had been together. I was eleven now and knew about S-E-X. I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t make myself turn away. I’d crouch at the top of the stairs, watch their silhouettes barely visible through the trees and a heat would rise in me that I couldn’t control.

One night in early August, I was perched at the top of the stairs. I couldn’t really see them, but I could hear them on the beach, splashing mingled with their sex sounds. I was so enraptured, I didn’t hear Henry come up behind me. He tapped my shoulder and began to speak. Quick, I threw my hand over his mouth and rushed him up the path.

“Ow, that hurt,” he whined when I removed my hand, “What’s going on?”

“Shh, go back to bed, I’ll tell you in the morning.” I pushed him toward the back door. Just then, footsteps sounded on the stairs, and I pulled him into the bushes with me. Moony-faced, Miss Elaine went right by us, and into the house. By the time I snuck back through the trees to my house, everybody was sleeping soundly.

The next day, Henry met me on the pier. “They been at it, haven’t they?” he said all nonchalant.

My jaw dropped, and I stared at him.

“I know about doing it. Mommy and Daddy did it ALL the time. Daddy saw me looking once and told me the facts of life.”

I snapped my mouth shut, “Well, I know all about it but what did he tell you?” I pretended not to care and pulled at a crab line.

“That men get horny like toads and gotta do it, or else their dick will wither.” Henry’s shoulders went up in a shrug.

“Henry Meyer, that isn’t true!”

“You’re not a boy, so how would you know?”

I didn’t want to be outdone in the S-E-X knowledge department. I had to quick think of something. I blurted out, “Then yours would be withered, I guess!” I blushed crimson.

Henry started laughing, “You look sunburned!”

I started laughing too, relieved to be off the dick discussion, and cannon-balled into the river to cool myself down.

After that, I stopped my late-night spying and tried to wipe the whole S-E-X thing from my mind.

Labor Day would be here soon and I had to get in all the summer days I could.

The last day in August was hot and humid. The thermometer read 101. Nightfall didn’t lessen it much. The air was still and sticky, and my sheets clung to my sweaty skin. I got up to put some ice on my neck and saw Billy’s door was open, the room empty. I wandered outside. Since I couldn’t sleep, I may as well have an investigating peek, I told myself.

I snuck through the trees between the houses and heard conversation from the pier, Miss Elaine and a deep voice I didn’t know.

I took two steps down.

“She’s my wife, you son-of-a-bitch!” the voice hollered. There was a scuffling and Miss Elaine cried out.

A splash.

I ran down the stairs, blind with panic.

He was a big man and had Miss Elaine by the throat. Her dress was half off and she was red-faced and choking.

Without a thought, I charged him and grabbed around his legs.

He loosened his grip on her and pulled me off him, easy as if I were a gnat, “What we got here?”

“Don’t!” Miss Elaine rasped out.

Then I was airborne over the water and the canoe pulled halfway up the beach. I had just enough time to register a form rising from the river toward the pier.

Billy.

A sudden pain seared through my skull and the world went black.

It must have only been a couple seconds, because when I could see again, through water blurred eyes, Billy was just grabbing the man’s arm. He spun him around and punched him in the face in one fluid motion. Blood squirted from the guy’s nose like a fountain and his eyes went big. Billy had surprised both of us!

The two men went at each other, fists flying as Elaine scurried to the beach.

The next sound was a ziiiip, pure and strong. I could hear it above the fray. An arrow sliced through the night, its tip finding purchase in the big man’s shoulder. Again, his eyes went big and he huffed out air as he spun toward the river.

Billy took advantage and landed an uppercut to the man’s chin.

The big man sprung up with the impact, then slowly sunk to his knees. Billy rose tall and landed a blow to the bloody man’s head and another arrow…ziiip…

Everything slowed. I could see it all at once.

Henry on the stairs; the canoe, its bow splashed in red; Miss Elaine, blood on her hands; me beneath her, floating face down…

Ziiip…

Billy clutching at the arrow in his chest as he fell from the pier with a splash.

Then rose again, beside me.

From the sky, the Magothy River is a brown lizard that crawls through trees.

From below, it is dark and cool and home to my brother and me.