Memories & Time; Love Doesn't Have a Face

     As dinner service winded down. Rocco got the attention of his Sous Chef working grill. A modern early twenties white boy. 

“John, I'm stepping off to do inventory, then prolly dip out. Food for thought though real quick. Point of contact is working, yes? Tonight was seamless. Every night should run this smooth.”

     John turned from the grill. Tonging twin filets medium rare. Placing them on a sizzler. Then tossing it into the window.

“I agree Chef, your system has worked and it proved tonight to be the way.”

     The lead on middle, Scott chimed in unison. Rocco acknowledged Scott by pointing and nodding. As he walked off he slid a piece of paper and a pen to John.

“Add yours and Scott’s. Make a list of everybody’s poison. Cucina alla café a kitchen coffee is necessary.”

     Elated by the Chef’s request. Scott eagerly wrote down his poison thanking Chef. Though Rocco was talking to his Sous. He appreciated Scott, an elderly burnout, also known as a lifer in the craft. Rocco winked at Scott. Signifying he knew that Scott knew the meaning of a kitchen coffee. John felt validated by Chef. Though never having heard of the term. Wrote his down then slid the list down the line. Delegating Chef’s request to the team. As the excellent Sous he is. 

     Rocco flew through inventory. Most nuances he breezes through. Just like the skill they came naturally to him. However upon entering the office to retrieve his laptop. He realized the duality of the passion for his craft. The dreaded dopamine drop. Sensing he was unprepared. Fearing it might be heavy. He quickly re-entered the line. Which eased the down. Swiping the list unseen as he went to the bar. 

     Rocco set up the laptop at the stool closest to the swinging doors. First opening the windows to all three proveurs. Then furnishing his credit card. He aptly placed his card on the list. Setting it by the bartender's register. Writing on the bottom.

“Jamie,

Kitchen coffee’s please and thank you. I’ll take them back. 

-Chef-”

     Rocco was done with the first proveur in minutes. Joshen is all paper products, togo stuff and office supplies. As he was placing the order for the produce. Jamie walked over to him. She’s an early twenties slender mid height blaisan. Working her way through nursing school. 

“Chef, your money’s no good. I’m putting it on my spill tab. Roc since you got here my food has shown up on time. My dude you're for real. Your family meals kick ass. We are all deeply appreciative of what you’ve done.”

     Rocco didn't look up from his labor. Though smiled so she could see. As he was finishing the produce order. He replied through one voice(soul,mind,heart).

“Youngin’ though I appreciate your feelings and opinion of my effect on the house. I believe I should inform you. I've only just begun. I have goals and where we all are now in cohesiveness and skill. I feel we can achieve my goals. Tonight is only the beginning.”

     Jamie thanked Rocco again and aptly put together the list. To Rocco's reluctance Jamie shoved him forward as she carried the tray. 

“You were busy and should be doing your outs. This is an unnecessary extra, kiddo.”

     Jamie who finally is drinking the Kool Aid. Ignored the Chef's request. Happily following behind with celebratory drinks for the back of the house(BOH) team. Once through the doors Rocco surveyed the team cleaning up. Through one voice again Rocco addressed Jamie and then shouted.

“Jamie you wanna help then run for me youngin’.”

“Gladly.”

“Listen up! Stop what you're doing and sworm me around expo please and thank you.”

     As they came Rocco continued through one voice.

“Tonight was a seamless success. When this happens and I believe it's going to be recurring. From the Chef the team is to be rewarded. With a cucina alla café a kitchen coffee. This practice goes all the way back to medieval times. Created by the first Chef of kings & king of Chef's. The influence of my philosophy, the great Chef Carême. After a successful service. Only after a successful service will the team be awarded a shot or a beer. I’ll call your name and take your reward. I'm proud of all of you, thank you.”

     Rocco did just that. Jamie happily handed all five drinks. She disappeared as they toasted. They all had beer, Rocco began to ruminate in his head. Stepping back he was noticed by the cook on salad/dessert station. Nita a mid forties Latina single mom. Who is still a looker but the years of partying are now seen in her face. Walked over to Rocco.

“Chef, you good?”

“Yeah it’s just the dopamine drop. I love this shit. You all did excellent and it’s just the beginning. In Ohio we are not on the Michelin map. Yet Marc Bona, a respected Michelin critic lives in Shaker. I want his attention Nita. I felt close once but I pissed it away.”

“I've neva worked for a Chef as passionate as you. That's tha caveat of bein’ fa real.”

      Rocco shrugged and finished his Bumbleberry. Walking off he responded still speaking through one voice.

“Maybe, regardless, I'm going to finish the order and possibly leave. You should also think about finishing up Nita. You and Scott are first out, but relish in your success. More will come.”

     Back out in the dining room. Surveying the tables as he walked over to the bar. The produce order needed to be placed in 5 minutes. Sirna & Son’s has a deadline for orders to be placed for Tuesday deliveries. Reopening the page Rocco realized all he had left to do was click place order. The list was already checked laughing to himself he did just that. Sysco on the other hand is a different animal. The analytics of ordering appeases Rocco’s INFJ mind. Going through the past months' orders. Sipping a bottle of water finding a match to the current inventory sheet. Rocco choked laughing so hard. His action startled Jamie and caught the attention of the front of house(FOH) manager George.  

“Chef Rocco, nice, please tell me you’re placing Sysco order.”   

     Still putting himself back together. Sighting how synchronicity makes him laugh. Confused by the statement. George requested a case of New Amsterdam Gin. Rocco nodded as he was going through the comparison nuance. He began laughing again, just before George left. Rocco saw it appear in the old order he was looking at.

“It’s already on the order, Georgio.”

     Rocco placed the order and closed the laptop. Sensing George’s confusion Rocco gathered his things and turned to him.

“How is it? Is what you were gonna say bub. It’s the third week of July 2024. The order placed tonight matched the third Saturday of last month. All I had to do was delete a case of spinach. The case of New Amsterdam was just above it. Synchronicity always makes me laugh. I don’t know why.”

     George, visibly confused, thanked Rocco and walked off. Rocco was putting the laptop in his backpack. When he noticed Jamie walking towards the door. 

“Ugh uh, kiddo hello buddy system. The fuck you going out in the parkinglot in Wooster at night. Meth whites out her cutie, buddy system.”

“You’re white Rocco, and you sound like my dad.”

“Second generation Italian- American by way of Little Italy in Brooklyn. My Grandfather became a citizen in 69’. My father was born in 57’ sweetheart. Also I’m not on meth.”

“Fair and true. By the way, some people say synchronicity is how God talks to us.”

“It’s one way there’s others, synchronicity isn’t the only one. There’s visions like I had when I signed the contract before I started here. There’s also dreams like I had on my journey to self discovery and discerning my purpose. As well as through emotions.”

     Jamie turned back before she entered her car. She spoke quite perplexedly.

“You think God talks to us through our feelings!?”

     Rocco decided to have another cigarette.

“This will be my third. And yes kiddo most definitely. The idea stemmed from discovering my culinary philosophy. Cause I’ve found that one's emotional imprint is an ingredient. How you feel alters the food you touch. My realization I’ll leave you with to chew on. Humans are a frequency the soul is not of the body. Emotions are a vibration from the source, or creator. Feelings are a current they come and go. They are also your everyones interpretation of said emotion.”

     Jamie smiled and got in her car. Rolling down the window she politely asked.

“Roc are you guru like on your off time like at home and with Addison?”

“I’m just me, kiddo. Only me all the time.” 

“So be yourself? I figured you were, tell Addison I said hi, later.”

     Rocco nodded and waved as he walked. He enjoyed his short walk especially in the breezy summer air. Checked his phone as he flicked the butt. Thinking I haven’t heard from Addison all day. He shrugged it off it’s Saturday night. She’s out with friends. His inner voice chimed. Bellowing again you’re a chef and you work all weekends. As the dopamine drop began to peak. Rocco’s feet took him into a local pub. Cognitively unconscious in the flow of dopamine drop. Rocco began to tie it on. After an hour of dive bar fun. Rocco finished the last 4 minutes of his walk home from work. As he smoked another cigarette.

     Meandering into his minimalist apartment. He didn't turn on the light as he quietly shut and locked the door. Sliding off his shoes. He assumed his friend Kramer was asleep. Still cognitively unconscious though now drunk. Rocco went into the fridge to get a bottle of water and the pedalite. Briskly he strolled in the dark sipping the pedalite as he did his evening routine. After one good swig of water. Rocco began to roll around in bed to find a comfortable spot. Which was on his stomach, left arm extended. Comfortable and drunk, the dopamine drop finally gone. Rocco relaxed his breath, easing himself into slumber. The bedroom door creaked open. Undisturbed Rocco’s subconscious figured it was Kramer checking on him. Their friendship spans their entire life. Which makes them like family. 

     After the door closed there was a slight thud and light plop. As the blanket shifted Rocco faintly smelt floral sweetness. Followed by Addison’s cold smooth touch. Easing into subconsciousness he slid back into her bosom. Upon kissing his cheek she smelt the booze. Knowing most smokers trying to quit. Smoke more when they drink, she inquired. Rocco showed four fingers. Addison kissed him again proudly. She attempted to play but was let down.

“Spicente bella(sorry beautiful) it don’t work when swimmin’ in dirty water.”

     Addison cuddled him deeper and decided to get some truth from him instead. After all en vino veritas(truth in wine). Sweetly she whispered.

“You didn’t text me all day. Are you thinking about ghosting me?”

     Rocco shook his head no.

“Figured you were out not to be bothered. We're both off tomorrow, see ya then. But you’re here now.”

     Rocco slid back farther into her leaning his head back. Which went into her right arm that her head was leaning on. Throwing her left leg over him. Addison began running her fingers through Rocco’s sleeping head. 

“So you missed me?”

      Relaxing his neck Rocco nodded. She kissed him again.

“Do you think about me when you’re at work?”

     A deep breath was let out of Rocco. To which his whole body relaxed.

“When I think at work. Usually in flow. Aware of how I’m starting to feel about you. It scares the fuck out of me.”

     Maligned by the answer Addison cuddled deeper. Whispering directly in Rocco’s ear.

“But you love me?”

    Rocco nodded, muddling the words absolutely terrified. Confused and concerned Addison pried further. Before Rocco finally fell into his drunk coma. 

“How are you in love with me and afraid?”

     Rocco rolled over, peaking in subconscious just before theta. His face buried in Addison’s chest, closing his arm around her. Facing as if he was staring at Addison’s heart.

“Love has no face. Been here fore bambina(baby girl). Starred in this movie, married young. Her name was Marie. 13 years ago uh cook then. Bad habits and behavior, a boy. Can’t be mad at er for leavin’. Ego’s death expects no one to drown with me. Moved back where I escaped from to be a chef. On the way I found faith in purpose. It gave me you.”

     Another deep breath Rocco moved his left arm under Addison’s right. Closing his arms around her he unconsciously pulled her into him. Fully relaxed he slipped out of subconsciousness. Feeling droplets of water on the back of his neck. Rocco’s auto response was to tighten his grip. Entering into theta Rocco heard rain. Smiling upon his entry he heard Addison’s voice. As if she was waiting for him.

“I love you.”