Back to the Beach

The sun was hot, and the walk was a lot longer than I remembered.

I finally made it to the cliff edge and found the winding path that led down. It was much as I remembered it except even more overgrown. Tropical foliage pressed on both sides as I made my way down. At my age the decent was a bit treacherous but at last I made it to the edge of the ocean. Now it was just a long walk at the base of the cliff, a sharp turn and I would be at my destination.

The beach.

Seth and I had done the whole 'final road trip' thing between graduating college and starting our jobs. We had no plans and almost no money but rather than do practical things like finding a place to live we'd decided to take my car, point it in a random direction and go. We saw a lot of things, did a few we'd seldom talk about and in general behaved exactly like two people who'd just graduated and knew this was a last blast of real freedom.

We'd reached the point where we were going to have to turn back and rejoin the real world when we befriended a guy at a rundown bar. He became even friendlier when we stood him a few beers and was he duly saddened by the news that our last hurrah was about to end.

"Listen, my friends," he told us. "Before you go you have to go to this beach I know. The sand, the waves..." He nodded solemnly. "And almost no one knows about it. Spend some time there before you give up your freedom."

We promised we'd go and tried hard to listen to his directions. Somehow, in spite of the beers we'd had we got it down and found our way to the beach.

It was beautiful. Exactly what a deserted beach should be like. Warm sun, fine sand and waves that caressed the shore. We'd tried to convince a few local girls to join us but had no luck so we had the beach all to ourselves. Or so we thought.

A quick swim (the water was also the perfect temperature) and then we sat down for a beer or two. That's when a girl stepped out of the brush and started walking along the beach towards us. She stopped for a second when she saw us, then shrugged and kept walking. In the forty years I've known her since that day we have never discussed the fact that the first time I saw Cheryl she was a little drunk and completely naked.

She was doing the same thing we were doing, one last fling. The next thing I knew she was riding back with us in my car. Six months later she and Seth were married. A year after that I married her friend Claire.

We talked about going back but never did. The excuse was that we didn't think we'd be able to find it but I think the real reason was that we were afraid it wouldn't live up to our memories. After a while it never even came up, until Seth was dying.

I visited him in the hospital about a week before he passed. There was no question about the future for him as the cancer had spread pretty much everywhere. We talked about family, sports, the usual thing two men talk about to avoid the important subjects. But then Seth got serious.

"Steve," he said, "I want you to promise me something."

"Sure. What is it?"

"Promise me you'll go back to the beach."

"The beach?" That was the last thing I'd expected.

"Yes. Promise me you'll go back."

"That was a pretty steep climb." I said. "At my age, I don't know. And can I even find it? Is it even still around? It could be a tourist trap by now."

"It's not. And you'll find it. Just promise me you'll go."

What else could I say? I promised.

But shortly after his funeral I had health problems of my own. A heart attack, a minor stroke, a long recovery. I never expected I'd make the trip back to the beach.

And yet here I was, making the final turn and expecting to see pretty much anything. It could be like I remembered. It could be washed away. It could be a tourist thing now, except I wasn't sure there was another way to get there. Anyway, I was expecting almost anything except what I found. 

"Steve! You finally made it!"

"Seth? Seth?"

Seth grinned. "Here I am. Looking pretty good, huh?"

He did look good. He'd always kept himself in shape but his body was not that of someone in his sixties. The grey was gone, too. He was pulling my arm.

"See that little shack over there? Food and drink. I bet it'll have whatever you're looking for."

I shook my head. "I don't understand. You-"

Seth laughed. "Don't worry about it. We're here, and isn't it just like we remembered?"

It was (except for the shack). I had no idea what was going on, but a drink sounded really good. In the shack was a cooler filled with my favorite beer. Ice cold. How? Chicken legs. Nice and hot. Again, how?

I walked back over to where Seth was sitting in a beach chair. He grinned. "Great, huh?"

I sat down in a daze. "Is Cheryl here, too?"

"Not yet. She'll be here before long. Claire, too. She'll love it, don't you think?"

"She does love the ocean. In fact, why didn't I bring her with me? It's funny, but I don't really even remember the trip."

"Don't worry about it. The important thing is you're here."

We talked a bit about what had happened since, well, since what exactly? Seth was dead, yet here I was sitting on a beach with him, drinking beer and eating chicken. I finished and decided I wanted a bit more so I went back into the shack. The beer cooler was still there, but the chicken was gone. In its place was a big bowl of fruit. I walked back.

"Seth, I think I'm going to go for a bit of a walk. Stretch a little."

Seth laughed. "Don't wander far!"

I walked back to the trail, as fast as my old body could go. I didn't know what was going on but I needed to get out. As I walked I kept wracking my brain. Was this a dream? It didn't feel like one. But Seth was dead. Then, as I got to the top of the cliff I remembered. I remembered sitting down on the steps in our house, the crushing pain in my chest. Pitching forward...

Behind me I heard the waves crashing on the beach. Ahead of me was emptiness.

On stronger, younger legs I turned around and went back down the trail.