The Last Step!

As usual, Candria was upset - the fact was, she had had no reason for despondency and chaos in her life. The clouds were pouring enormous rain and thundering to manifest its achieved eminence in threatening the rational creatures and obscuring the almighty of hope – Sun. The stormy wind made her ajar window slam – open and shut. The world enjoying the first rain of the season with Falafels and the Merlot but what happened to Candria? She couldn’t up with dealing with her despair.

   Candria was in the mid-21s but wrinkles on her face looked of the 30s, her grey hair was prominent, brown eyes looked secretive, and the cracked lips had left the blood clot. She lost in some old entwined memory that could have superfluous pain or spurn or deceive.

 Anam her neighbor - a juvenile and jubilant blind girl of 14, she was not tired of romping with her younger sister and both were exuberantly enjoying the rain. Candria’s eyes stuck on the lively.  

   “Honey! Your hot sandwiches have served with Merlot-Daddy’s gift for today; he is crazy about the rains and never thinks about the broken wallet - to spend for a blissful rainy day, he is insane, isn’t he?” chuckled her mother.

 She suspiciously hid the half-opened sleeping pills bottle behind her back, her blanched face was more frightening than the thunder outside since she didn’t want to see the anticipatory grief on her mother’s face, so she escaped.

    “Humans are bastard! Isn’t it mommy?” she asked might so to distract the mother’s attention from her paled face.

“Huhu! But why are you asking that? What happened dear? You are pale.”

“Nothing mommy! Just some sort of old memories, it is hard to believe – if humanity exists? How they behaved with you, like animals? Argh!” she grunted.

    “Shrug it up dear! That was passed - forget it lest you will miss the joy of the Merlot; once the rain stops. Enjoy Honey!” she kissed Candria’s forehead and left the medium-sized uncluttered room, fraughted, and looking mundane; having no sign of joy. 

 Candria was confused, either she jumped out through the window or she could hang herself with the fan, slashing her nerves was not the best idea because it will leave the blot of blood; she didn’t want that her mother and new father relive her death, again and again, in future.

Human anatomy comprises of a bad guy and a good guy: one brings the ray of hope, peace, harmony, and wisdom and the other brings the black clouds of despair - both are an insanely insane adversary of oneself. If a good guy dominates then the person like – Jesus Christ emerges, if bad then the insane like Candria who was ruminating; how to finish her life subtly and effectively?

   The inner bad girl gave the best idea to jump out of the window, it was easy and subtle way indeed, there would be no chance of escape after falling from the 10th floor and she subdued the voice of good girl inside; she had almost died within Candria. Candria wanted to take the pills - so the bad girl shrugged and said, “Whatever! But take superfluous pills so there should be left no escape; the inner veins should be intervened and forever” and smiled a ludicrous glory of her victory over the good girl. The good girl laid unconscious.

 Candria started taking the pills: subtly and one in a go. She was in the amid of proceeding her life-killing process—the disturbance in the street broke her focus; the pandemonium delayed her exit. Poor! Blind Anam hit by a car, her left leg crushed under the wheels; she was crying, screaming, struggling, and panting to make herself move. Candria’s eye filled with pity for the young blind girl. 

       Candria tried to ignore and concentrated back to increase the count of the pills, but inside her heart was aching for Anam, "she was already blind and if she couldn’t walk, how will she live further?" she buzzed to herself.

  The good girl asked in a cracking voice, “Candria, you remember, what should be the motto of a human?” Candria again felt the disturbance in her lame chore.

     “Don’t listen to her Candria, it’s moot - she will try to thwart in your decision, but you focus on - what happened in the past? ” grumbled the bad one.

  Candria’s eyes deluged with tears, and a flurry of grief ran down her body. She started again gulping the pills.

“After the death of her husband, Candria was the only source of motivation to live - to her mother. She worked hard to fulfill every demand of Candria. She accepted the atrocities for the betterment of Candria. She married again to give Candria; love of a father. Candria was a cheerful and lively girl—passionate about her career and dreams—to be rich enough for a World Tour with her mom.

But something happened with her in a phase—she became the victim of pomposity. She abandoned herself from the world - her life thrived mundane, and the smile barely exists on her face. The hormones of exuberance dried inside her body.

She killed herself - a handful of sleeping pills made her sleep forever. Her mother couldn’t maneuver the aghast; she felt an ache in heart and got a heart attack. She passed away in the extreme grief of her dead loving daughter - it was obvious - these things happened when we live for someone or somebody, souls attached with an invisible string of yearning; if one broke then other will surely drown to Davy Jones’ Locker,” said the good girl, “this might be an article tomorrow; people will read and feel some pity for your mother, they will criticize your awful step and move ahead. Nobody will try to reach the vault of the predicament that forced you to take such a sordid step. You will not be the victim of adversities and atrocities lest you will have the sin of death of your mother; think about your mother, giving up is not a fucking solution. You should give a fight and give those monsters a lesson.”

“No! Candria. She is inveigling to you. Never forget you have black skin and those white chunks will never accept you, neither reckon your existence. You will be starved for love, peace, respect, and serenity. They will ridicule you. They will rape you again and you would do nothing except crying your head bump in a pillow,” the bad girl beseeched.

  “Candria! Don’t forget your new dad is white, he loves you and your mom than anything. All whites are not monster, delve thy self in this world—every people are not a bastard! ”

  Candria crestfallen of her old dreadful memories, the situation impasse–she couldn’t move either side, their overwhelming debate piqued her; none ready to give up.

   Candria grunts and shouted, “shut up! Stop fighting like bitches. Kill the absurd discussions. I will decide myself - what to do?”

        The original Candria resuscitated finally, she knew what is good and what is bad?”

   She got up and moved out and slammed the door on their faces and summoned herself to the street – where Anam was playing. The rain was heavy, Anam had taken to the hospital but her blood had ensanguined the street. Candria closed her eyes—so to feel the rain.

   “Draphongo her boyfriend. Both had had a euphoric life with each other. Life was handsome without stress – full of tranquillity. But with the time when they went to college—the situation changed, and so he. He was changed in an aghast way. He became anti for black.

He joined the group, “SAY NO TO BLACK” and she didn’t matter to him anymore – she was just an ordinary black girl to him - who should leave the country. 

     When she tried to talk to him, he slapped her, pulled her hair, and raped her with his squad. She thwarted badly by the group—she couldn’t come to college and she couldn’t take part in the college activities. It felt all world was against her color. They treated all

black girl as a sex slave—the white bastard raped them whenever they wanted.

Candria was raped many times and couldn’t raise the issue because the group was powerful; irrigated by the higher authorities of the country. Candria left her studies and decided to die. She was accustomed to the atrocities - that was irrevocable.”

   She was wet when the water droplets ran down on her face. She rejuvenated herself. She had seen already - ought to live dedication in Anam’s eyes - gave her enormous positivity.

She reviewed her past in a recap. Her melancholy washed away in the rain. She had the acumen to decide. So, it was her life and so she decided not to end it like losers - even after dragged under vicissitudes. She felt that the change is a cardinal part of this delightful journey. Move on with the changes - is a cult for life's vision.

She donated her cornea to Anam, luckily Anam could see with the corneal transplantation.

  Candria feels the thrill of living for others, whenever she sees Anam playing and thriving well, she feels the gratification - the true vision of life, glints in her blind eye!

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