Serenity

I pained me to even look, but I on the contrary couldn’t help but to. I watched as my family waved their goodbyes to me through the train window that separated us. I can’t even believe that I was once upon a time excited about this, because right now, I was sick to my stomach. Would this be the feeling I’d be waking up to for the next year? 

Three months ago, my life flipped, changing everything. I had just started college and was trying to get a head start on my future career and studies. Choosing communications as my major, I enrolled in extracurricular writing classes, online writing contests, and even joined the school newspaper. I just wanted to be as well prepared for the road that laid ahead for me as possible. 

So it should be no surprise that I was one of the first to sign up for a seminar featuring a famous author that was coming to our school. Laura Jane, a best selling author who started her career at just 16 years old, had lived in the Bay Area, across the country, and was hoping on taking a few “prospects” that she could transform in the course of a year. The hope was that those prospects would be established writers within the next 365 days, with writing deals of their own. 

To my surprise, the room was so full that we had to move to the auditorium. I had grown up surrounded by people that didn’t seem to be intrigued by reading or whatever it entailed. I guess I imagined college would be the same; people wouldn’t care for this major. Boy, was I so very wrong. 

Laura was an eccentric spirit upon first glance. Her ear to ear smile was like second hand nature to her. She greeted everybody with a warm hello, and she knew how to adjust to whomever she was speaking to. But then again, I suppose that’s something that a successful author should know how to do. 

“And what’s your name, young lady?” Laura greeted me as I was finally given the chance to speak to her. I was at the front of the line, which again I say, is probably no surprise. I tried to match Laura’s warm smile and grace, but I don’t think anybody could ever be capable of doing such thing. “I’m Serenity” I introduced, “Serenity Martin.” Laura nodded at my words, “Serenity” she repeated with a nod, “the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.” 

Laura went on to ask me things like “what do you want out of your major?” and “if you were given the chance to write on the big stage, what and who would you write for?” I was previously nervous before actually speaking to Laura, but she was a literal breath of fresh air. These answers came naturally to me, and I felt comfortable making eye contact with her, which I typically never do. 

I could talk to Laura forever, and I swear it felt like I had been, but when the timer went off I realized my five minute meeting with the writing prodigy was up. I tucked my lip in, made a quick, silent prayer, then shook Laura’s hand and left the room. I wouldn’t know whether or not I was one of the several kids that had been picked for at least two weeks. 

The two weeks of waiting came a lot faster than I thought it would. I blame that on the fact that I’m in college, however, because those deadlines hit you insanely quick. It started off as a regular day, I had an 8am and then a 10am class and that would be it. I never got to go to my 10am class, because I was called down to the dean’s office instead. 

I remember trying to backtrack on all that I’d done recently, wondering what this encounter could be about. I was a quiet individual, I didn’t hang around crowds and never bothered anybody. I was the top of my class in terms of grades I assume, given I was a straight A student. So maybe I was being presented with an award or some kind of certification. 

It wasn’t until I heard the words “Congratulations Ms Martin, you’ve been accepted as one of Laura Jane’s prospects,” that I even remembered the whole two week wait. “It’s been two weeks already?” I asked my dean, to which he nodded. “It has” he informed me, “and you have a month to accept or decline this offer. The sooner you accept, assuming you want to, the sooner you’ll be on your way.” 

I probably should’ve consulted with my parents first, but I was so elated in that moment, that I didn’t think to do anything other than say yes. “Yes!” I answered, “of course I’ll take it.” 

I lived on campus, so I quickly made the 20 minute drive home to tell my parents and two little sisters what was happening. My father had always been stern and cautious, so I wasn’t exactly sure how he’s react. But my mother, she was an accepting soul. Whatever you wanted to do, she was down to support. As long as you could make good of your promise. 

But for once, my parents were on the same page—both supportive—with my dream. “It isn’t easy to make it out here” my father insisted, “so if you’re given a chance as big as that, you absolutely should make use of it.” My mother agreed, adding the fact that I was already away from home and that the distance would only make a small difference. 

The hardest people to talk to about this transition turned out to be my two little sisters. Hailey was 15, so she was more understanding. “Just make sure you come back rich” Hailey joked, promoting a laugh out of me. Jayda on the other hand was only 6, and constantly reiterated that I was “mean sister,” because I was leaving her. 

And as I stared outside this train window, Jayda was all I could think about. She was in an ever-changing period of her life. From 6 to 7, a lot could change for her. She’ll lose teeth, she may not like Dora anymore, and she could be taller the next time I see her. I felt a tear roll down my face as I thought about that. I loved my little sisters more than anything. 

“Serenity” I thought, remembering Laura’s words as I turned my head away from the window and the train began moving. “The state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.” 

I smiled. I got this.