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Black Crime Suspense

THE WARNING

I’m walking on the sidewalk, and the florist’s shop is beyond me when I suddenly see that face among the passers-by coming in the opposite direction to me. A face with pronounced cheekbones, a long nose, and a small mouth. And blue eyes. It is little to say that it is a face familiar to me. That face is mine. It had also a mole between its nose and mouth, like me. But look what is happening to me this morning: to meet my double, I think embarrassed. I take a few more steps and I find myself facing the man ….with my face. “ Good morning. I am finally getting to meet you” My double says to me nonchalantly.  I am about to open my mouth but I remain paralyzed, speechless.

“ Look, I’m not your double. I’m REALLY YOU” the one with my face says. “ I’M YOU, but a live in another world,” he says. “ It took me a long time to be able to reach you and meet you”              “ “How could you say that you are me? I am me!” I protest, resentful, thinking that my double is a great prankster and is making fun of me. “ Don’t get upset” he says calmly and he takes me by the arm. “ Come, it’s not good that we stay here in this coming and going of people. Let’s go to a quiet place. Because I have to talk to you” he says. We walk arm in arm towards the park. “ Are you relaxed now? Are you ready to listen to me?” “ I’m ready”. As I say these two words I didn’t feel relaxed….I felt rather like I was lifted off the ground, and become light like I no longer had a body, and there was a whirlwind in my head.                                                                                      

 “Then listen: I, who am you, but live in another space-time dimension, a thinner dimension than the one you live in, have come to warn you of a danger that threatens you,” The man with my same physiognomy said, standing in front of me. “ Do you want us to sit down or do you prefer to walk?” He asked, pointing to a bench. It was a mild day in May, the park smelled of flowering trees and of grass. “ Let’s walk,” I said. While, how strange, despite he had mentioned a danger that threatens me, I could not feel fear. I felt like I was wrapped in a cotton wool, I felt like I was in a dream.

“ I see you’re not surprised. Don’t you want to know what it is?” he asked. “ Of course, I want to know,” I say. He stopped walking, comes in front of me, and puts his hands on my shoulders.

“ You have to know that someone is planning to kill you,” He tells. “ I can’t believe it. I have no enemies” I say, sure. “ Maybe it’s true you have no enemies but someone wants to get rid of you….so he will not have to give you back the money he owes you,” He says. Oh, the only one who owes me a large sum of money is my business partner who is also a close friend. And I never pressured him to pay me back the money I lent him, I could not help but think.

“ Ah, I can’t believe my friend Tommy is planning to kill me,” I said. “ He’s my friend and he has no reason to do it,” I said quietly. “ You’re wrong since one reason he has: the money that sooner or later he has to give you back,” my other me says.

“ Since you warned me of the danger I’m running,  can you also tell me if I will escape it or if my fate is already decided?” I asked amazed and still incredulous. “ But what I am asking?” I think as I do the question. “ Oh, I can’t tell you this because I don’t know,” he says, “ I think it will depend on you….” He added, looking at me sneering. “ Will it depend on me? And how? In what sense?” I ask. “ You have to get rid of your business partner before he gets rid of you, “ He speaks in a sibylline way. “What do you mean by getting rid of him? Are you perhaps telling me that I have to kill him?” I ask in dismay, but while I pronounce the question he disappears. It seems to me that it is logical that he disappeared as dissolving in the air since he comes from another dimension. I get ( perceive) A FEELING OF UNREALITY. But do I really exist? Who am I? Where am I? I  ask as I touch myself to make sure of my body and then I touch the trees, step on the grass, and breathe the air to make sure I am right here in the park. Strangely, however, I can’t feel fear thinking about what my other me announced to me. I can think about what he said to me in complete calm and peace. “ So this is the situation,” I say myself coldly “ “There is my (business) partner and friend Tommy who is planning to get rid of me, and if I manage to escape it depends on me. So if I don’t want to be killed I have to kill him before he kills me”. That seems to be the most logical solution. It’s like solving a math problem at the elementary school level. Since I certainly can’t go to the police to report Tommy….They would think me be crazy and I would be locked up in a mental hospital. Ah, of course, I could decide to forgive the debt to my business partner, but it is a very big sum of money and I don’t feel like doing that. Then, any security measures? Hire bodyguards? Too complicated and then I should give an explanation to my wife, children, and friends….. I have to act, act as soon as possible while there is still time. Now I have to decide how to act. Of course, I can not expose myself and risk ending up in jail convicted of murder. First I take into consideration that I could cause Tommy’s death through an accident. But resorting to an accident the police could trace the investigation back to me and, besides, Tommy could survive. I have decided: I have to hire someone to do the dirty work for me, and when my business partner will be killed I’ll have an iron alibi.  Of course, if the investigations will be able to arrive at the killer, this one could reveal that I ‘m the instigator. Oh, I have to resort to a top-notch killer to avoid risks. Besides I can afford it because I’m a very rich man.

 When using every caution, I contact a professional killer my wife, my children, and I too end up in the hospital for food intolerance. I suspect him, Tommy, who seems to intend to get rid of not only me but also my family.  I have to act fast, I say to myself. I meet the professional killer and we make arrangements. When he will shoot with his high-precision carbine, from outside, at Tommy, who will be in his office, I will be talking on the stage at an important conference.

The day and the hour have come when my high-prized professional killer will rid me forever of Tommy and the mortal threat he poses to me and also to my family. I’m sure ( confident) of the success of my plan as I was speaking at the conference, in front of so many people who will be my alibi. Here, right now, at 5:15 P.M. the killer is shooting Tommy who will die.

I’m on my way home from the conference. Before I crash against the truck that has overtaken me I realize that the brakes of my car do not work. No! Incredible! It must have been Tommy who, even if he is dead by now, has made it in time to kill also me

May 05, 2023 15:42

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4 comments

Kira Carver
21:12 May 10, 2023

Hi Mara! Looks like we're in a critique circle together. First let me say, I love the futility of your character's plans. I love the idea of both your character and Tommy killing each other at the same time, very dramatic. I also admire how you're able to describe your character so quickly and succinctly. The only note that really sticks out to me, is that you might want to brush up on your grammar. For instance, there should never be two characters speaking within the same paragraph. When one character responds to another, there should ...

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Mara Masolini
12:30 May 11, 2023

THANK YOU KIRA for your appreciation and also for your suggestions. I know my English is not what it should be. Even if it is not my native language this is not a valid excuse since I have decided to write in English Thank you again

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Kira Carver
14:06 May 11, 2023

Actually, your English is quite good considering it isn't your first language. I always admire when people are determined to perfect another language, so please don't be hard on yourself. At least you're bilingual, which is more than I can say! The only thing that made it hard to read was the dialogue arrangement. But, again, even beyond that, you did a wonderful job with your story.

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Mara Masolini
09:37 May 12, 2023

THANK YOU KIRA You are very encouraging

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