Exploring Real LIfe

         Oliver had been thinking about doing it for quite some time. He knew it would be tricky. He would have to somehow deceive the surveillance systems into thinking he’d taken his “Daily Dose,” as the managers called it. His Dose was formulated specifically for him, taking into account his genetics, state of mind, and God knows what else. Although, that was just an expression these days. They had been told there was no God.

         Despite the effects of the Daily Dose there was something inside him that wanted to see the world with a clear head and an open mind. They were warned every day to stay on the Daily Dose protocol for their own good, but Oliver wondered if that was really true.

         As he awoke that morning, he carefully followed his daily process, walking into the bathroom, removing his night clothes, evacuating his bowels and bladder, showering, and putting on his work clothes. There was a time when he had been shy about being naked in front of a camera, but that ship was way out to sea.

         He poured a glass of water and pushed the button on the counter, as he did every day. Out popped three small pills. That is where his deception came into play. As he picked up the water glass with his left hand, he lowered his right hand to cradle it. As he did that, he deftly poked the three pills into the overflow drain hole at the front edge of the sink. Putting his right hand to his mouth he took a drink and swallowed, just as he always did. But this time he swallowed only water.

         Oliver half expected to hear bells and buzzers, but he soon realized he had gotten away with it. At age 30 he was about to experience his first day as an adult without medication. He was excited and also afraid, like any explorer who is entering uncharted territory.

         He ate breakfast, as always, and left his apartment to catch the bus. It wasn’t called a bus these days. It was a social transport. But, to Oliver it was just a bus. He didn’t feel any difference in his mind or body yet. He didn’t know how long it would take for the drugs to leave his system. He knew that whatever he did he could not let on that anything was different. That was the whole point of The Daily Dose: no one could be different. Being different causes different thoughts and opinions and questions about how the managers run things. That could not be tolerated.

         On the bus Oliver sat in his regular seat. He looked out the window instead of straight ahead. He caught himself after a few moments. He thought about how boring the town was. All the houses looked the same. Only a few cars were on the road. Only managers have cars. He wondered why that was. That is when he realized his Daily Dose from yesterday was fading away. Questioning the managers was dangerous thought that was prevented under the spell of the Daily Dose. It could not be tolerated.

         As he picked up his work bag, he felt a sense of energy and clarity. For the first time he could really see the people around him as if they were in hyper focus. He wanted to smile at them, and talk to them, but he restrained himself. Then the morning buzzer rang, and they all repeated the Earth Pledge.

         “We will forever praise the earth and pledge our lives to preserving her or him and beg forgiveness for our ancestors’ harmful ways.”

         For the first time in his life Oliver made the sobering connection between the disappearance of God from society and the rising of the earth as a deity. Long ago he once read that in early history religion had been used to control the masses. Here it was happening again.

         He and his crew climbed aboard a smaller social transport and were taken to the edge of town where a huge solar array seemed to flow to the horizon. Their job was to clean and polish the glass on the panels. It was hard work, but according to the managers it needed to be done. For the earth. Or, Oliver paused, did it? Was it useful work or busy work to keep him and the others occupied and too tired to put up a fuss at the end of the day?

         Oliver started to feel a little nauseated. He wondered if his body really needed something that was in the Daily Dose and if by not taking it, he would die. He took a few deep breaths and reasoned that the feeling probably came from the overload of reality he experienced.

         His body was tingling in an odd way. He had a sudden urge to see Alba. She was the woman he’d been assigned to as a mate. They could only meet for an hour each week until the Managers decided it was time for them to “join together.” It wasn’t called marriage, officially, but that’s what it was. Oliver really liked Alba. They had held hands, which was all that was allowed. Right then his mind and body felt compelled to embrace her so fully that they would intertwine. It was a feeling he had never had before. It was a wonderful and painful feeling.

         He couldn’t go to her, of course. Leaving a job site was grounds for reeducation and, undoubtedly, a modification of his Daily Dose. Maybe once they were “joined together” he could tell her of his exploration of freedom from medication. She might contact the managers to report him, though. If that happened she would be told it was the right thing to do.

         As the day passed, and after the bus ride home and the same dinner again Oliver thought about what he had discovered in his exploration that day. His vision was clearer, but what he saw was not beautiful at all. He could hear everything, but nobody was talking. Just the media kiosks with the same optimistic pablum. His mind’s perceptions were so much clearer, but his thoughts only frustrated him and, if he acted on them, they would only lead him into trouble.

         His heart and his passion for Alba were awakened beyond belief. And now, as he sat in his room, his heart ached, and he was profoundly sad. He had finally soberly explored his life and the world he lived in without the filter of The Daily Dose. Oliver concluded that the life he lived was tremendously sad and meaningless. The drugs kept him from knowing that.

Now that he knew the truth about things… some of the truth, anyway, he wondered if he would continue his explorations into his drug-free world the next day or if he should go back to a “Daily Dose” life that was safe and comfortable and devoid of meaning.