Fever.

I have a fever.

People hallucinate when they have fevers, right?

I came here to get a glass of water because I was thirsty, because of my fever. I came to the kitchen and grabbed my favorite glass from its spot on the counter. I walked to the sink, and that’s when I saw whatever was standing there outside. There used to be a door there, right? It’s just a window now, the door is gone. It must just be because of my fever, I’m hallucinating.

People hallucinate when they have fevers, right?

Then why do my feet hurt so bad? They didn’t when I walked in here. When I looked down I saw that I dropped my glass when I saw it, that thing. The glass shattered, and I didn’t even notice that I took a step towards the door-window. It’s like its eyes are drawing me in. I just want a closer look. Its eyes are so big and they’re the blackest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Why don’t I feel scared? Looking at the creature, the logical part of my brain says I need to get far away. It’s practically screaming at me to run. Someone should tell my brain that I’m just hallucinating. 

People hallucinate when they have fevers, right?

Even so, I’m tired. I should go back to bed. The clock on my oven says it’s 3am, I’m supposed to be up at 7 to get things ready for the funeral. But before I go to bed I should take care of my feet, they’re bleeding pretty bad. I have a first aid kit somewhere in here, I think it’s in the drawer by the window-door. The thing is gone. I slowly walk towards the drawer, and I’m kicking myself for grabbing a glass cup and not a plastic one. I don’t remember my favorite cup being glass, but I guess I never really thought about it. This is going to be a pain to heal. I find the first aid kit and sit on a stool to start cleaning up and bandaging my feet. Luckily, they feel worse than they look and it only takes me a few minutes to clean and bandage. I should probably sweep up the glass so that Manny doesn’t hurt himself. He’s not the smartest cat, and he’d probably see the broken glass as a toy. Where is he anyway? He likes to follow me around, especially at night. “Oh well”, I say out loud and move towards the closet that the broom is kept in, but I must’ve left the broom out last time I used it because it’s leaning against the wall. I quickly clean up the glass as best I can in the dark. As I’m walking towards the trash can I think I must be in a dream, where is the kitchen door?

People hallucinate when they have fevers, right?

I have to keep reminding myself that, especially now as I’m starting to panic. I was hoping to go back to sleep and forget all about this. My feet hurt, I’m sick, and I’m thirsty. Now I’m also starting to get scared. I peek back over my shoulder and see that it’s back.

People hallucinate when they have fevers, right?

I squeeze my eyes closed and open them again. It’s gone. I don’t understand what’s going on. “Okay,” I think, “the door must still be there, chill out and go to where it’s supposed to be.” It’s when I’m walking back in that direction (when did I even walk away from it?) that I see Manny. He’s hiding in the corner, hissing and scared. Am I hallucinating him, too? I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and now I’m standing so close to the window-door that I can feel the cold seeping inside and can see the frost on the glass. Dully, I'm wondering how that happened. But that thought vanishes when I see that the thing is back. Now, as I’m looking at it, I don’t feel scared. The only emotion I feel is curiosity. Once again I’m drawn in by its expansive, black eyes. I barely notice what the rest of it looks like. I barely notice that it seems hairless except for a few long, black, stringy hairs growing out of the top of its head. I barely notice its toothy smile that seems to be almost as expansive as its eyes. I barely notice when it starts slowly lifting its hand, and moves its pointer finger towards the glass. I’m snapped out of my near-trance when Manny once again hisses. When my attention is brought back to the window-door, the thing is gone. I go to Manny and I see that the door is back. Yup, I’ve had enough of this hallucination. I open the door, walk through, only to end up in the kitchen once again. But it’s like I walked in from outside. I’m cold. I turn around and the window-door is just a door, and it’s wide open. The thing isn’t there. I turn around again, and I see that it’s in my kitchen. Now I’m scared. The peaceful curiosity is gone, but I can’t move. I’m frozen. I’m hallucinating. 

People hallucinate when they have fevers, right?

I’m not hallucinating. I’m suddenly so sure that I’m not hallucinating. This is real. Those eyes are like caves and they’re sucking me in. I want my mom. The creature’s smile seems to be getting bigger and bigger, like it knows it won, like it will have its prize. My vision gets blurry, and it seems like everything is getting darker and darker. Until it’s not. All of the sudden it’s bright. Don’t people say not to go to the light? Am I dead, or dying? But the light isn’t in one spot. It’s nothing I can walk towards. The light is all-encompassing. My eyes take a moment to adjust, and I hear a frustrated scream. I’m so confused. I want to go back to bed. I’m tired. I’m thirsty. I’m scared. I feel tears on my face and realize that I’m crying. Once my eyes have adjusted I see that the kitchen is empty except for Manny, who found a small piece of glass and is playing with it on the ground. I’m by the kitchen door again. I must have turned the lights on somehow. All the doors are back, so I quickly walk to the back door and close the blinds. That should keep me safe. I must have been hallucinating. 

People hallucinate when they have fevers, right?