A Series of Dorm Disasters

“My phone !” My screams were covered by the revving of car engines. I was on the other side of the pedestrian crossing when I realized it. My handbag was – the lights turned from green to red when I felt the pavement vibrate. Then a flock of cars rumbled past. After the noise cleared, all that was left was a ringing in my ears and my dirty handbag in the dust.

My legs were rooted to the spot. It wasn’t until other pedestrians started to cross the road did I reminded myself to move. Breathing was suddenly harder. My hands shook as I unzipped the bag open, “please please please please.”

Out fell the flattened device, cracks spiderwebbed all over the screen. I choked back a sob. My fingers were shaking as I pressed the power button, once, twice. I blinked away tears as the screen remained dark. All my pictures, my contacts, gone. How am I supposed to contact my family across the world?

‘Beep, beeeeeeep’ Car honks brought me out of my thoughts. I touched a dent in the phone and changed course to the nearest phone shop. My dorm girlfriends would have to wait if they decided to show up.

Turns out, purchasing a device was the easy part whereas talking to my girlfriends was not. I ran into them at the mall closest to our university, the entire group was holding drinks of the same brand. I must’ve failed to hide my surprise, for their conversation and laughter came to a screeching halt once they saw me. 

My footsteps slowed. How do people talk to friends they haven’t spoken with for a while? 

“Hi,” I began, “I didn't know you guys wanted to hang out.” There was no need to add ‘without me’.

“Hiiiii,” Helina spared a glance at me, “yeah, we forgot to get back to you.” The other three girls remained silent, looking anywhere but at me.

I bit the inside of my cheek, “You guys feel like going to Zumba at the gym ?”

“Zumba’s not really our thing,” she said after a brief pause.

“Right,” I muttered. As if that explained why they never reply to my once-a-week texts. 

My fingers clenched and unclenched. This would’ve been so much easier if I still had access to my Notes app. I was never good at confrontation.

“I-I’ve noticed you guys have a separate group chat,” I racked my brains for the script, “and I feel left out. I was wondering if I did something to upset you guys.”

Another loaded silence as the girls looked at each other like they knew telepathy. “I’m sorry you feel that way, and no, you didn’t piss us off.” Helina was the only one who had something to say, “We share memes and butt-waxing videos there. We wouldn’t want to spam you with those.”

I raised an eyebrow, “You guys just happened to show up at the mall at the exact same time ?”

The other three silently looked at their shoes this time. I didn’t know if they looked more uncomfortable than I felt.

“We created the newer chat during a dinner when you weren’t there,” Helaina didn’t meet my eyes.

“I missed one dinner,” I think I forgot to breathe. They had weeks to reach out.

“We should go,” one of the girls piped up, “see you !” They collectively headed towards the escalator. Conversation over. I said what I wanted, and didn’t explode into tears, so why did I feel like a deflated balloon?

I heard the shower in the ensuite bathroom run by the time I got back to my dorm room. I braced myself and played a pop song with the volume way up from my laptop. Even if I covered my ears, It wasn’t enough. As expected, my roomie’s voice went through the locked door. Cece said “stooop” and “don’t touuuuch meee” in a joking manner. Then his voice, her voice, his voice again, back to hers. At one point, she cooed if “it hurts”. It was better than last time, I supposed. Couldn't be worse than when they had another ‘shower conversation’ while I was trying to sleep at night. Still, I wasn’t sure what was worse, her shower thoughts or her slamming the bathroom door at all hours. It's not like I had anything else to lose.

I knocked on Cece’s door after her shower.

“Yeah ?” her voice went straight through the walls.

“Oh,” I poked my head in her room, “you’re not alone.” She’s got her female buddy over.

“It's just my friend,” Cece said, “what’s up ?”

I counted to three in my head, “I could hear everything in the shower. Could you please not bring a guy in ?”

“Oh, sorry,” she said. Her friend laughed into her palm.

“Yeah,” I didn’t know what else to say, “thanks.” That could’ve gone a whole lot worse. And since when did I specialize in difficult conversations?

I’d just finished downloading all the apps I needed into my new phone when someone knocked on my door. That someone was Wyan, dorm neighbor and king of mixed signals. 

“Nice trousers,” I blatantly checked him out, “I approve. Are you wearing double socks ?” I’d asked him to go ice skating with me earlier, he’d said yes.

“Yep, what’s new with you ?” he scratched his chin. Freshly shaved, I noticed. He’d also put on fingerless biker gloves. I gave him a quick update on my unhealthy friendship with the girls.

“Limbo,” I dared him as we approached the parking garage gate.

He immediately bent backward and scooted out from underneath, slow as a snail.

In no time, we were on the ice. 

“I could” –he lifts an elbow– “help you balance.”

I snort, “I’ll push you over if you even try.” It sounded too much like a date, anyway.

I pushed off the wall and glided forward, it was easy to balance with both hands in my pockets. Wyan did several laps with me.

“If it gets boring,” go on without me,” I turned to him, “might as well get your money’s worth.”

“You mean your money’s worth,” his breath was on my face, “since I forgot my wallet.”

“If you want money, find yourself a sugar mamma,” I stuck out my tongue.

“It won’t be hanging out if I’m skating by myself,” he replied.

Hmmmm, went my brain.

“Stopstopstopstopstop,” he grabbed both of my shoulders to slow me down.

I realized why – a kid and a man braked in front of me. I would’ve crashed right into them. After that incident, everything else on the rink became a relaxed blur of ice and cold.

I lay in bed, feet pleasantly sore from the exercise. My new phone pinged with a message. Wyan sent me a picture of his bank statement, he’d paid me back. Wonderf–was that a Bumble notification in his screenshot?

I sat up straight while zooming in. It WAS a Bumble notification. I knew he’d been on dating apps, but I never thought he’d be this … open about it. Either way, I teased him about having a Bumble girlfriend. Maybe I did imagine a spark. 

Except he replied five hours later, “None of the people I matched with work out. They all ghosted me. Do you want to try dating me? I like you, you know. And I think you like me too. I want to try being more than friends with you.”

“Please focus on your dating apps.”

“I just thought you might be interested since you mentioned being jealous when I was talking about ice skating with another friend.” 

This guy had got to be kidding. Wyan texted he was going to avoid me for a while. 

Helina and the girlfriends were at the mezzanine, watching something together when I walked past. Cece and her man’s voice came from the bathroom again, followed by door slams when I was in my room. Wyan was entirely offline. How had I managed to push everyone away? 

The alarm on my old phone rang. I tried to turn it off, to no avail. It just kept ringing and ringing and ringing. The screen reflected my face like a cracked mirror. In the end, I wrapped it in a towel and chucked it inside my suitcase under the bed. Maybe, just maybe, it's not damaged beyond repair.