Winners Never Quit, Quitters Never Win

Once upon a time in a huge metropolis called Danville, Va. there lived a really nice guy named David. He was the coolest guy in the whole city because he was a born-again, blood- bought, Spirit-filled, Holly-rolling, Christin believer, child of the King. In other words, he was a really super-spectacular kind of guy. Everybody who knew him said he was the absolute coolest creature that the Lord had ever put life into. Yet he only had one major problem and that was his grammar had much room for improvement, so because of that, he hired a tooter to teach him how to speak with proper English from a major university which was in town by the name of Danille College. The instructor there said, “Now, to begin with, there are 2 words I don’t like to hear you say. One of them is swell and the other one is lowzey.”

That’s when David said, “Well, alright. Give me the swell word first.”

His instructor said, “No, you don’t understand. What I mean is, one of the words is swell and the other word is lousy.”

So David said, “Alright, fine. Just give me the lousy word first.”

The instructor, who was really getting frustrated at that point in time said at last, “No, no. You don’t understand. What I meant was, uh, well, may I have a glass of water, please?”

“Sure thing,” said David as he walked into the kitchen with a smile. “I’d hate to get you upset with me your first day of teaching. That would really be a swell way to get off to a lousy start!”

The poor instructor put his hands on his forehead and moaned when David left the room. Then he called his boss and said, “You know what? I quit! This dunce is totally unteachable!”

“That’s what we pay you the big-bucks to do,” replied his boss, “Just give it your best shot.”

“Well, the only, ‘shot’ I need is one of liquor!” said the totally exasperated tooter, “Unless it’s cool to bring my gun here to work and make it do that to this ultra-dunce! He’s not teachable!”

Pastor David literally had the patience of Job. In fact, some of his congregation membres told him he should have been a medical doctor. The reason for that is because he doesn’t lose his, “patience.” Yet, he still preferred to teach people about the IWOG. which is another name for The Infallible Word Of God. Besides, his boss also told him not to stop trying because like the old saying goes, “Winners never quit. Quitters never win,” and encouraged him to keep it up.

Later a bad-guy named Germain got wind of the difficulty the good Pastor was having with teaching those seemingly unteachable people something they were never going to learn in the first place. Yet it was the job he had been assigned to do by his supervisor, so he had to at least try his hardest to succeed at that seemingly impossible task he’d been assigned by his boss who was named Lou. Actually, he was a really bad-dude. His name was the abbreviation for Loucifer. His best friend was named Beyo, which was short for Beelzebub. Their mani purpose in life was to get as many people to fail at whatever task they were attempting to do and as often as possible. Their boss was old Slewfoot himself, the epitome of all evil, Satin. His favorite past-time was messing up people’s plans and making them make bad decisions which would get them in as much trouble and difficulty as they could possibly get in. He especially got the biggest kicks out of picking on those Christians who didn’t have as much Spiritual armor on like other much stronger believers in Christ. He loved to attack Cuz and ruin his testimony to prevent him from spreading the Good News of God’s Gospel to anybody. That’s when Mr. Slewfoot caused Cuz to forget simple instructions which made everybody at work fuss. That made all the demons in Hadese laugh hysterically. It was like they’d just heard the funniest joke ever told by anybody. They knew that would prevent Cuz from having an awesome testimony. He was already a walking-Bible who had read the whole Bible through 4 times and had memorized all the Scriptures that stood out the most. Old Slewfoot hated that. Therefore, he did everything in his power to get Cuz down because he knew that guy had great potentials for being a really fantastic messenger for the Lord. That’s why he attacked poor Cuz’s brain and made hir forget a lot of the awesome, “God ideas” that would constantly enter into his mind. Old Beeslsibub loved to mess-up people’s minds so they’d forget the things they’d learned about the Bible and anything else that was good. Cuz had the mind-of-Christ which is why the enemy wanted to pick on that poor guy so much. He even got control of his mouth and made him say things that were either messed up or simply not true about the Lord. That caused his supervisor to get so mad she fired the poor guy, who was actually one of the best employees in the history of S. S. Va., and the only janitor they’d ever had, so he made Cuz hate to, “janit,” which meant his job of cleaning wasn’t at all acceptable in the big-boss’s opinion. She kept fussing and saying the job was not good enough and unless he did better, that he would be scheduled for termination. That put Cuz in a tailspin so she couldn’t do nearly as good of a job as needed to keep that position. When Latheatha, the big-boss, threatened to fire him unless the work productivity improved big- time, all the demons down there were already cheering for Cuz to mess up so Latitha would fire hem. Since Cuz didn't work well after being fussed at, Beelzebub really took advantage of that and made the boss-lady yell at him, saying unless she saw a better job of cleaning immediately that she was going to fire him. Then Sleufoot took control of Cuz and made him mess up and forget all the directions from Latitha. At last she said, “I warned you about your job performance needing to get much better, but you haven’t done it! You’re ford! Don’t ever come back here!”

To Cuz, hearing those words was like having The Empire State Building collapse on top of him at least that couldn’t have hurt any more. As he began to sob bitterly, all the demons were laughing and giving each other high-5s because they’d won a really major battle in Cuz’s life. That job was the only one anybody could find that didn’t require a lot of reading or driving. Old Slewfoot was congratulating Lou on the awesome thing he’d done by causing Cuz to lose the only job in town that didn’t require a lot of visual acuity or years of experience. They wer having a ball since they had ruined another life, which had happened to Cuz a few times in the past.

Just when it seemed like Satin had won a major battle by destroying another lifestyle, the Lord came to the rescue. He blessed Kindra with the knowledge of something different, which was operating a forklift. Although he’d had no experience at that, he did have a teachable mind so he picked it up right quickly. He had to write stuff down the first day and read them on the next day, but by the third day, he’d mastered the task and didn’t even need to read the notes. He was earning so much money, Medicaid closed their case with him. Yet Kindra explained that was because he was making more money then they would have ever paid, so to say that made Cuz ecstatic would have been a gross understatement. Joy flowed across his entire body. It even poured out of his nose and ears. While old Slewfoot and his band of evil demons cussed and shook their fists, Cuz was happier then he’d ever been. With that money he attended an aerobics class. That’s where he met the cutest little creature the Lord has ever put life into. They dated a while then got hitched. Soon they celebrated the birth of mixed twins who grew up strong and smart. Everybody was grateful, everybody except for Beelzebub. He and his band of demons were ticked-off, but at least Cuz had won a major battle against the Enemy. So like most good stories finnish, “THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!!” The end. By, Cuz Roye.