My Award

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MY AWARD

NOW-It’s been 50 years since that awards night but I’ll never forget it. I have been married for 60 years and this is among one of the many, many memorable moments of my life and I thank God every day for the man that I married.

THEN-I was so excited! I got an award last night. Okay, so were 900 other wives getting it, but it was special to me. LaSalle College was giving their awards to the wives of their male students. It was a yearly award for:

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 “,,,,,loyally and lovingly accepting the conditions  essential to conjugal and collegiate helpfulness in that she has patiently borne with her spouse in the 

pursuit of his higher education: typing his term papers, monitoring the tv volume so that he might better concentrate, keeping the children quiet, making

sure he had clean clothes for his daily work, balancing the budget, putting the dog in the basement, entertaining guests, preparing the coffee for his midnight cram              sessions, arranging his textbooks and briefcase in anticipation of his Dagwood departure and intuitively providing spiritual encouragement, thereby fulfilling the requirements for the degree, honorably named:

  ‘PUTTING HIM THROUGH’ (PHT)

entitling her to all the rights and emoluments occurring thereunto.

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Whew! That says a lot! I was a little nervous but when I arrived and started talking to all the other wives I was relaxed. We all sat and listened to Dean Montgomery read the inscription on the award. She said that we all deserved this award for all the reasons written within.

She went on to say that every year, one special wife is picked to receive the prestigious award known as “PHT-WITH DISTINCTION”. She said this is presented on the basis of a letter written by each husband nominating their wife. She continued to say that most years picking a winner for this distinct award had been very difficult. She explained that all of the letters were thoughtful, but one just struck her and there was no doubt who would win the award this year.

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Knowing most of the students wives, I had a few ideas which ones could be picked for this outstanding award. I also knew a few who might get it but really wouldn’t deserve it. It’s kind of an award that some people might think of as ‘Sexist’--being that it is a woman doing work that the husband is too busy to do–but, I would be honored to receive it. I always felt that my husband’s education was important to us all and that it would only make our lives easier with the many career opportunities it opened for him. 

Getting back to Dean Montgomery’s words, she said that she usually sums up the reason why the winning wife was chosen but this year she was doing something different. She said the letter was so compelling that she was going to read the entire letter and let it speak for itself. As she started to read the letter, I gasped. I knew my husband, Ron, wrote it. It said:

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I believe my wife, Mary, deserves this award more than I deserve my diploma. I am sure most of you feel that way about your wives, but I believe my reasons substantiate this fact even more. 

We have been married for ten years. Of those ten years, I have spent six at LaSalle College’s Evening Division. We have four children, ages nine, eight, seven and five. 

My oldest son has a learning disability and has to attend a school 122 miles round trip to get him back and forth to his classes. She drives him and returns home to take care of the other three and then returns to pick him up. My second son is in the second grade and my daughter is in the 1st grade at Catholic School. The youngest attends Special pre-school classes to help with a speech problem. He has a genetic malady which requires him to be on a special diet since birth requiring that my wife measures the amount of protein he eats at every meal. He also requires periodic check-ups at St. Christopher’s Hospital for blood and Psychological tests to measure how well he is progressing.

Through these past six years, my wife has shouldered practically all of the responsibilities. She has also worked at IRS on the 4PM to midnight shift, six months a year, to tide us over. She has enabled me to be nominated to the Cross Keys Fraternity, Who’s Who and to serve as secretary to the graduating class. 

We only had one car, so at 10 pm every night of classes, she would arrive with the 4 kids in tow and my warm dinner under foil so I could have a ‘family dinner’ on the drive home while visiting and listening to the kids telling me about their day.

I will accept my diploma this year, humbly and gratefully indebted to my wife for the rest of my life.”

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I was called up to the front of the auditorium and everyone gave me a standing ovation. It was a wonderful moment and I was very proud of my husband. Everyone kept coming up and congratulating me and looking at my special award.

I couldn’t wait to get home and wake the kids to show them the award their dad nominated me for. We woke them and told them to hurry and get in our bed. As I told them the story and showed them the award, Ron explained how special I was to get it, they all started clapping and cheering. I also told them how special their dad was to make this special thing happen.

We adjourned to the kitchen for a celebratory cup of tea and cookies and a few photos of the happy family. What a night--one I will always remember!

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LOOKING FORWARD---Fifty years later, that award still hangs in our home and, thankfully, we both still feel that each other is special! =====================================================================