A Candid Wind-up

The possible probabilities indicated it is impossible to look into his eyes when we part. My eyes echo the voice of my mind. So I loosened my brows and lowered my eyelids to move my eyeballs to face the ground. In that split second, I longed to know what's running in his mind. I saw his face from the corner of my eyes. He held a bright smile radiating all over his face like the rays of the early morning Sun between the oak trees. 

Is he happy to leave me? How could he be comfortable while I'm in pain? He is trying to bury himself under the thick blanket of that scintillating smile. I know it is me trying to console myself at this point.

"Memories are going haunt you," I said to him in an unsettling tone. No, not a single movement, he stood stiff like a stone wall. 

"What?" I raised my eyes and looked into his eyes and continued, "You got to speak. It's our last hour together. Are you going to give me that look and stand like an idol in the temple? It doesn't work that way, my dear. You got to open up, or I'm not allowing you to step out. I will turn this into the worst goodbye for you." It is my impatience that made me bark into his face like that.

He clicked his tongue and forced the words to flow from his vocal cord, "Memories are a mere reflection. Illusions can neither be real nor be fatal."

"Cut the strings. Those were my words," I snapped.

"from my lips. Those are my words now," he jabbered.

"I was wrong. Memories are delusional and fatal," I stammered.

"Then prove it." he gave an evil laugh that meant go for it, try me.

He should carry the pain of missing me. That is all I wanted. The moment for it came, and I jumped in glee.

"Nina," It is the shortest word I spoke to trigger my opponent. I saw the smile from his face grow into a frown like the colorful lights of the Sun turn into the night's darkness. 

"You shouldn't have done this to me. You are savage." From his eyes, I made the conversation that he wished to speak to me.

Nina was her angel and my witch. Now she is my darling angel and worse than a witch to him. Before he settled for me, Nina was everything to him. All that mattered to him was Nina. He never thought about me. I was somewhere behind the screens living in disgusting slime.

"What made her leave me? I gave her more than myself to her. Why she wasn't with me when I badly needed her?" his frown changed to a childish weep.

"I'm there for you. It is not that you have to walk away right now. As long as you wish, you can stay with me." It is not the right time to say it, but I behaved like an opportunist.

We both had a pact that I should not mention her name to him at any cost. But I broke it this time since I had no choice. It was now or never. It was the only weapon I had to stop him. 

"Six long years. We cared for nothing else. Two meant more, and we two were enough. Nina, she threw me within six seconds. I became a weed in her garden. Why love mutates as hatred?" he always searched his answers in me. I'm the one responsible for clearing his muddled mind.

"The fear of losing will turn love to hatred," I blurted out and bit my lower lip. I felt regretful for the words that slipped out of me.

"Why me?" he bawled. It is a bad sign. He is going to breakdown, and the consequences could be violent and uncontrollable. Before I could explain the fact to him, he rushed to me and hugged me tightly. I felt his tears reaching his cheeks. I gave him the warmth and was silent. The more I was quiet, the more I could hear his heartbeat. It was steady, not fast, or not slow. Despite the pain and anger, he was stable.

He slackened the grip and let me lose. I stood like an abandoned ship.

"So you knew?" he asked me in an agonized tone. Reluctantly I nodded.

"Nina didn't hate me. It was her fear that made us fall apart. You were the one who twisted my mind. I misunderstood and let her go. I was the one holding my whole hatred towards her. Is it true? Tell me." he demanded.

"Ya. But it is for your good." I admitted.

"Twenty-six years, right?" he stressed.

"Twenty-six years, six months, and sixty-six days. Right from your birth, I'm on your side," I asserted.

"Thanks for the precise stats. I'm enthralled. But have you ever done anything fruitful to me at least once in my life? Every single thing you did had ruined me throughout my life," he slashed me with a mighty sword called words.

His sword can't make me shed a drop of blood. I'm devoid of emotions. My job is to make him understand and be by his side when the dark calls and insist him to do what is acceptable in my rule book. It isn't easy, but it is what it is. I have no choice but to put my defend mode on. 

"Things I have done to you made you deed free. Your next version will be out of the world. If at all you understand the cause and effect, you'll get blessed with a God mode in your upgraded version." I explained, but he would perceive it as a justification.

"Who cares about the deeds? What I have done to Nina is unacceptable. All the while I thought, she ditched me but, it was me who had thrown her like a wiped toilet tissue. I'm so small. Do you get that? How will you? You are emotionally out of bound. It is my fault. I shouldn't have believed you in the first place." he snarled in remorse.

"She is happy now. If you were with her, she might have missed you. It won't cure her for eternity. I made you do the stellar thing for her." I advised him.

"How can you be so sure that Nina is happy? I want to see the proof with my eyes. You can't show the evidence. It is your theory. Not going to work on me." he reproached.

I didn't expect this from him. I hate to exhibit my powers. This time I should, there is no room to flee. I took out the blue light from my forehead and cast it to his eyes. He saw the screen reflected from the blue light of his eyes in front of him.

Nina looked like a Gaulish goddess in her charmeuse pink gown with the Eiffel tower backdrop. Her face was full of smiles and blush. A handsome man who was six feet with the french beard adorning his calm face held Nina's hand. They both lazily walked in the Trocadéro Garden. The charming man grabbed Nina's waist and glued his lips over hers. The blue light faded. 

"She is happy with her partner. Do you believe me, at least now? ," I questioned him. He nodded with a sense of pain and relief.

"What next?" he inquired me.

"You can stay with me," I offered him a chance.

"What's the use?" he seemed to lose interest.

"Theoretically, life will go on. In practical, no use," I uttered the truth.

"Then, I'm leaving," he concluded.

"Are you OK? Is it the final call?" I double-checked. But my voice diminished, and I started to vanish.

He left, and my unsaid "I miss you" hung in the vacuum.