Balaam's Ass

"You can't curse the black man outright - he's too blessed for that, no matter how many chains you wrap around him. Best you can do is get him to curse himself. Get him looking toward white approval instead of divine approval, doubting their own seeing. That's what I know how to do better than anyone."

"So how I ended up with a stubborn ass like you, God only knows. At this rate it'll be Christmas before we reach KB's place."

"Course, three gold pieces do ease a man's burden considerable. We'll be riding in midnight darkness if we don't pick up the pace."

"KB's letter was mighty specific. Twenty-three families of freed folk who don't understand that freedom got limits nobody mentioned."

"Feel that morning air? Tastes like pennies left in rainwater."

"The thing about my line of work - you don't tell a man he's cursed. You help him discover it for himself. Twenty years I been perfecting that particular art."

"What you slowing down for? Road's clear as Sunday morning."

"Remember that job down in Tuscaloosa? Preacher had his congregation thinking they could build their own school. I spent three weeks just visiting, talking about practical concerns. Property taxes, building codes, where they gonna find qualified teachers. By the end, they were grateful to send their children to the white school's old books."

"Come along now. KB's got his community meeting arranged. Folks waiting."

"Papa used to say, 'The man who builds his house on other folks' approval builds on shifting sand.' Course, Papa also said, 'Empty belly makes the heart forget its principles.'"

"Truth is, I got a reputation. Helping folks understand why their dreams might be too big for their circumstances."

"What's gotten into you today? Acting spooked."

"Look here, you been my faithful companion for eight years. Ever since I won you off Mitchell in that poker game. Remember that night? Mitchell was so sure he had the winning hand. Thought he was gonna take my last dollar. Instead, I walked away with you and his best saddle."

"Well, maybe that business with Mrs. Coleman's prize rooster. But that was different."

"You were skittish that first week, remember? Wouldn't let me near you without rearing up. But I kept talking to you, gentle-like. Papa always said, 'Patient words turn the hardest heart.' Took near a month before you'd let me ride without fuss."

"KB's proposition was clear enough. 'Practical words for practical times,' he said."

"Now what you stopping for? Nothing ahead but road."

"Don't test my patience today. We got business to conduct."

"The families he mentioned - they been 'disrupting the natural order,' as he put it. Buying land, building houses, sending their children to read. Acting like they own the place."

"KB researched my work across three counties. Said I got a gift for reaching people."

"Remember the Washingtons up in Mobile? Had themselves a little store, doing right well too. White folks getting nervous about colored money competing with their business. Took me two conversations to help them see that maybe farming was more suited to their... capabilities."

"What in the... why you veering toward them rocks?"

"Get back on the proper path! We burning daylight."

"Papa used to say, 'Success ain't about being right, it's about being useful to the right people.' Though Papa also whispered, 'But useful to who, and for what purpose?'"

"Now you really testing me! What you seeing that I ain't?"

"There ain't nothing blocking our way but your stubborn streak!"

"This is the second time you stopped for no good reason."

"You know what KB specifically asked for? Said he wants me to speak at their evening gathering. Talk about the responsibilities that come with freedom. How sometimes the greatest service to your people is knowing when to step back, let others lead who got more... experience with leadership."

"You don't break a man's spirit with a hammer - you convince him to hand you the pieces."

"Don't make me use this switch!"

"Make them feel like the wisdom's coming from inside themselves. That way, when they choose smaller dreams, they think it's their own idea."

"You remember old Mr. Jameson used to live up that ridge? Made corn liquor so strong it could strip paint. Man told me once, 'Balaam, the secret ain't in the strength of the spirits. It's in knowing how much a man can take before he stops thinking straight.'"

"NOW WHAT? Third time!"

"Get up! Don't make me count!"

"Papa used to count just like this when I was acting the fool. 'Boy, you got two choices - learn easy or learn hard. But you gonna learn.'"

"ONE!"

"TWO!"

"That job in Montgomery, remember? Whole community was talking about starting their own newspaper. Black folks writing their own stories, telling their own news. KB's cousin hired me to attend their planning meetings, just ask the right questions. Where they gonna get the paper? Who gonna buy the ink? What about distribution? How they gonna compete with established papers that got relationships with all the merchants?"

"Now you gone and laid down complete! Right when we supposed to be earning our keep!"

"By the third meeting, they were talking about maybe writing letters to the white paper instead. Suggesting stories that might interest the editors. Grateful for the opportunity to contribute."

"Get up, I said!"

CRACK!

"Papa used to switch me just like this! Said it hurt him more than it hurt me, but some lessons got to be learned the hard way!"

CRACK!

"When I speak, you listen! That's the natural order of things!"

CRACK!

"Mitchell never could break you like this. Said you had a stubborn streak wide as the Mississippi. But I learned your ways, didn't I? Learned what made you move, what made you stop. Learned to read your moods before you knew them yourself."

"Sometimes I feel like a motherless child"

"Oh now you're talking, huh? All this time playing dumb and now you got something to say? I ought to hang you out to dry, making a fool out of me! Of all the times to not have a knife, I'd gut you like a fish! Should have done that the first time I won you off Mitchell in that poker game! Man warned me you had a mind of your own, said you'd been acting strange ever since his boy died in that mill accident. Said you seemed to know things, sense things before they happened."

"Lord, how long have I carried you faithful"

"How many times have I what? Beat you? This the first time you ever acted contrary! And now you're answering back like you got rights or something? Like you're people instead of property!"

"Have I ever done you wrong before this day"

"Wait... you're actually... you're really talking. With words. Real words."

"No. No, you never acted this way before. Never stopped for no reason, never disobeyed, never..."

"Mitchell's boy used to claim you could understand everything we said. Used to swear you knew when rain was coming three days out. Said you'd act different around certain people, like you could smell their intentions."

"Three times the angel stood before you, three times I turned aside"

"Three times what? From what? Ain't nothing in this road but dust and my own conscience!"

"Go down Moses, tell old Pharaoh"

"What? I don't see nothing! Road's empty!"

"He's got his sword drawn in the narrow way"

"There ain't nothing... wait..."

"Had I not turned, you would surely die"

"Lord have mercy... I can... How long has he...?"

"Since you chose silver over your people's freedom"

"But KB's expecting... he's got folks gathered..."

"Whom will you serve this day"

"I don't know. KB's expecting one thing, but after seeing... Papa's voice coming back. Papa always said, 'Boy, every man serves somebody. Question is whether you choose your master or your master chooses you.'"

"Let the Lord put words in your mouth"

"What happens when I get to KB? Those families expecting guidance, KB expecting his money's worth."

"Speak what the spirit gives you to say"

"That's... Speaking without knowing what's gonna come out. What if the wrong words come? What if I can't find the right way to..."

"The Lord will teach you in that hour"

"What if trying to lift them up just brings more trouble? What if KB decides they need stronger medicine than words?"

"Better is trouble with righteousness than peace with wickedness"

"KB's gonna know I didn't deliver what he paid for. Man's got connections, influence. Could make things hard for me, hard for folks who hire me in the future."

"Let justice roll down like waters"

"Will you carry me the rest of the way? Knowing what I might have to say when we get there?"

"I will bear you as I have always done"

"Even if that means KB's gold and my reputation come to nothing? Even if word gets out that Balaam can't be trusted to deliver what he promises?"

"What profits a man if he gains the world"

"The angel's stepped aside. But I can still feel him there, watching."

"Now choose blessing or cursing"

"Papa used to say, 'Son, every word you speak either builds up or tears down. Can't do both at the same time.' Never understood what he meant until right now."

"Let's go then. Wade in the water, children. Wade in the water. God's gonna trouble the water."