The Last Family Christmas

   “It’s about time you got here!” Martha exclaimed as she hugged her oldest daughter, Elizabeth. Martha had been baking all morning and was covered in sweat but Elizabeth did not mind, as this was the Christmas tradition. In tow behind Elizabeth was her girlfriend, Ruby. They had been dating for two years and this was the first Christmas they would spend together with her family. Elizabeth was nervous but happy to see her family again. This was only this time of year that they all came together anymore and she missed all the times they used to spend together. Elizabeth and Ruby moved through the kitchen into the living room where her Dad was watching his favorite holiday movie. “Hey, girls! I didn’t hear you come in. Let me help you with those bags and get you settled. Then you can help me convince your Mom to let me break into some of those goodies she’s been working on all morning.” He winked at them as they walked down the hallway to the newly decorated guest bedroom. This was not the house Elizabeth grew up in but it still held memories from the past ten years. Ten years of holidays and surprise visits, family discussions and movie nights. That very living room was the place she came out to her parents as gay and introduced them to Ruby. Elizabeth hugged her Dad and thanked him for helping them with the bags. “We’re just really tired from the drive so we’re going to take a nap before everyone gets here. Is that okay?” Her Dad smiled and said he would wake them up when her brothers arrived. Elizabeth laid in bed and stared at the ceiling for an hour listening to the movie play in the living room before drifting off to sleep.

    As Elizabeth sat at the dinner table with her family, she could not help the feeling that came over her. She had these “feelings” before; they were almost like premonitions. She felt like this was the last time they would all be together for a Christmas meal. She did not like the feeling but pushed through to try to figure out why her brain would try to tell her this. Her youngest brother, Alex, and his wife had just announced that they were having a baby in June. Maybe that was it. There would always be a baby in the picture now and her and her brothers and sisters-in-law would not be as close or visit as frequently as they did before. Elizabeth looked at her girlfriend. No one knew yet, but she had already bought an engagement ring and was preparing to propose to Ruby in May at one of their favorite vacation spots. Maybe that was the change. Her family did not approve of her relationship with Ruby and maybe they would cut ties once the marriage finally happened. She knew her family would not be at the wedding, but would they really stop talking to them if they tied the knot? She saw her middle brother, Jeff, staring at her. He raised his eyebrows while passing gravy to their father to question if she was okay. They were two years apart and had developed their own nonverbal communication years ago. Elizabeth gave a weak smile and nodded. She tried to focus on the conversation that was going on between her youngest brother and their mother. Something about how he blamed their childhood dog for a broken family picture. The conversation had everyone at the table laughing except Elizabeth. She knew she should be focusing on the moment but could not shake the nagging feeling that this was the last time she would be surrounded by her entire family. She looked at each face and tried to memorize every moment of the evening.

    It was tradition that after the parents go to bed the kids go outside with drinks, sit around the fire pit, and talk until the wee hours of the morning. This year was no different. All six members headed outside with supplies and snacks. “Remember that time I borrowed Elizabeth’s car and drifted into the neighbor’s yard while speeding through the neighborhood?” Alex said. Everyone laughed. “Yeah, and then cleaned off the mud and grass and blamed me for the wheel damage!” exclaimed Elizabeth. “I still can’t believe you waited ten years to tell me that it was you who blew my tire!” Alex laughed and said, “Yeah well I was pretty sure you were going to kill me so I waited until you got rid of the car and had moved on.” Elizabeth smiled at her youngest brother. She could never stay mad at him for long. Jeff spoke up, “Do you think Mom and Dad need help financially? I noticed some things around the house that need repairs that have been there since last year.” Alex shrugged. “You know they’ve never been good with money. Maybe things are tight right now.” Elizabeth spoke up, “Maybe one of us could talk to them, see if they need to borrow some money.” Everyone nodded. Jeff’s wife, Stephanie, spoke next. “If that doesn’t work maybe we can anonymously send out a repair man to fix a few things.” Jeff kissed his wife’s cheek and told her she came up with the best ideas when she was drinking. This got everyone in a carefree mood again as they discussed memories from their past and plans for the future. “I’m serious,” said Alex, “We should all go in together and get a beach house. That way, we can all vacation together.” Elizabeth and Jeff just grinned at their youngest brother. He was always the one to dream big. He was also the one who was afraid of outliving everyone so he was constantly coming up with schemes to get everyone to commit to spending more time together. His last plan had been to purchase land and have all of us live on it together like a commune; at least this idea was a step down. Before they knew it five hours had passed. Alex’s wife, Melissa, was the first to cave. “I can’t keep my eyes open much longer and we’ll be sitting around that Christmas tree in a few hours so I think we should all get some sleep.” Jeff put out the fire as Elizabeth gathered their glasses and bottles. Everyone headed inside for a few hours of sleep.

    “Santa Claus caaaaaame!” Martha sang throughout the hallway to wake her sleeping adult children. Elizabeth was already awake, trying to shake the nagging feeling her brain would not drop. One by one, each family member came out of the bedroom and took their spots around the Christmas tree. Martha and John, their father, brought out coffee for everyone and assured them that breakfast was being prepared. Breakfast was a tradition and consisted of biscuits, ham from the night before, eggs, and orange juice. This food combination only happened once a year for her and it always triggered the actual moment Christmas began. The smell of her mother’s homemade biscuits cooking reminded her of mornings from her past where her and her mother would sit at the kitchen table talking while waiting for the delicious morsels to finish baking. Her brothers and father always seemed to know exactly when the biscuits were cool enough to eat because that is when they would magically appear. Elizabeth looked at each family member sitting around the room eating, opening gifts, and laughing. She felt so much love surrounding her but could not shake the feeling that this was going to be the last Christmas like this. She felt a pang in her chest and wanted to ask everyone if things would stay this way. Would they all promise to celebrate Christmas together every year? That no matter how busy and complicated life got they would come together for a couple days to reminisce and plan. That they would always remember each other and the good times they had together. Instead, Elizabeth ducked her head to hide her teary eyes and take a sip of her coffee. She collected herself and tried to join in the merriment. What she did not know-could not know-was that she was correct. This was the last Christmas her whole family would be together. Jeff and Stephanie also got pregnant later the next year. Elizabeth and Ruby would get married and her brothers and sisters-in-in law would refuse to be around them because they did not want their children to be influenced by such a “lifestyle”. Elizabeth’s parents remained in her life of course, but Christmas would never be the same. Nothing would ever be the same again.