Through the Storm

Kali was terrified. For all the same reasons as usual, but also for some additional ones that she wasn't sure how to express or reveal. She paced the living room she shared with Ryan anxiously. Just like she did every time they were not out on a mission together. She tried not to, but couldn't help thinking the worst. Would this be the time he didn't come back? Would something happen and she'd never even know? They were fighters. Unable to sit back and do nothing when they could possibly make a difference in the war. Though it didn't much feel like that was what they were actually doing most of the time. The tide seemed to be turning, yes, but in the wrong direction. They were losing far too many to this cause and those numbers weren’t looking to drop any time soon. It didn’t change the feelings of those fighting, the desire to continue on, the belief that eventually things would change. They had to. The sacrifices would be worth it in the end. She had to believe it or there was no point at all.

Yet, she couldn’t help wishing, in her deepest of hearts, that it didn’t have to be this way. That they could have the life they often talked about, dreamed about together. A normal life. A home of their own, a family…a safe world to have these things in. Dreams that all of this would end and they could just be safe and happy together. Dreams that just wouldn’t quite let go, no matter how unrealistic they were.

Lightning flashed outside and a great clap of thunder made her wince. Her hands came up to cover her ears briefly as her thoughts turned to all the possibilities of what had caused Ryan’s return home to be delayed. She knew she shouldn’t think like this, but the darker thoughts were persistent and sometimes nearly crippling. Anything could have happened to him and she just wouldn’t know. He could be dead and she wouldn’t…no. That she would know. She would feel it somehow. You couldn’t lose your soulmate and not be aware, could you? Life was cruel, but it couldn’t possibly be that cruel.

This thought caused a bitter laugh because it was so untrue. Life was extremely cruel and there seemed to be no limitations to that. She had seen it time and again. Not just death, but those things that were worse than death. All of the many tortures that made one wish for just that. Death wasn’t always the end of something good, sometimes it was an only escape from everything that was bad.

Dropping her hands, her gaze moved to the window as lightning lit the world again, illuminating the rain drops drizzling down the glass. She sometimes felt like the weather echoed events around it, or even her moods. Witch weather perhaps. It certainly seemed to echo what she was feeling in the worst of times. Making a noise of disgust, she began to pace once more in agitation. “Ryan will be back.” She tried to make the words firm and believable. Strong and undeniable. She needed to believe it with every fiber of her being and refuse to think anything else.

“Ryan will be back.” She repeated, a murmur mumbled in an attempt to convince herself and reassure herself. Surely he couldn’t leave her now. Not when there was something new to fight for, to live for. Something they had not exactly planned for now, but had eventually wanted nonetheless. He couldn’t leave her without even knowing the one thing she had been afraid to tell him. Would he be happy? Upset? Think she was stupid and should have been more careful? She shook her head in denial of the last. No matter what happened or how badly she might doubt herself, he never seemed to think that. He never thought she was stupid, even when that was clearly the case.

Thunder roared again and this time it was accompanied by the door whipping open and slamming into the wall behind it. Emerald eyes widened as she spun toward the sound. Squinting through the wind and rain, she tried to make out the shadow that stood in the doorway. Letting out a strangled cry, she threw herself toward the figure. “Ryan!”

She couldn’t stop the tears and didn’t try. The relief was almost crushing and she had no other thought than to hold him in her arms, to know that he was truly there. As she crashed into him, she gasped on a sob, holding on for dear life. Afraid that if she let go then this might be the last time she did so. He might disappear to never return. The rain soaked them both as she felt his arms wrap around her in return and everything faded except the two of them. Breathing in his scent, she buried her face in his chest and basked in the knowledge that he was really there. He was alive and he was hers for however long they could manage.

“I knew you’d come back.” Her words were muffled, and lacked the conviction they usually held. She hadn’t known for sure and she knew he heard that in what she didn’t say. He had always been wonderful about that. Knowing that what she didn’t say was sometimes more important than what she did.

“Of course I did!” She could hear the exhaustion in the words, but also somehow knew he would be wearing the familiar smirk. As if amused that she would ever think anything different. “You should know by now that you just can’t get rid of me. I fought too hard to win you to ever give up now.” There was a gentle pressure as he guided them back into the house and out of the rain, shifting just enough to close the door behind them.

“I have to tell you –“ His joviality, forced or not, made her almost desperate to tell him her secret. The knowledge that she might never get another chance was a sobering one. Standing there together, dripping onto the floor like drowned rats, she somehow managed to pry herself away just far enough to look into those hazel eyes that meant everything to her, nearly losing it again at the love and compassion she found gazing back at her.

The curious expectation made her swallow hard before continuing. “I’m pregnant.” She blurted the words as if afraid to say them too slowly, as if wanting to just get them out there no matter the reaction. Again the brief thought that he would be unhappy or afraid, that he wouldn’t want this now, skittered across her mind and was briefly visible in her eyes. She had never been afraid of him, but she was afraid of this. Holding her breath, she waited for his reaction. Waited for him to tell her this was a mistake. She waited in vain, for the reaction she got was nothing of the sort.

He looked stunned for a moment, but then it was like the sun shining through the storm that always seemed to surround them. His eyes lit up and a smile so happy she was certain she had never imagined in her greatest dreams graced his tired features. It was like she had given him the greatest news in the world and surpassed even her wildest expectations. Before she knew it, she found herself spinning through the air as he let out a cry of joy, lifting her from her feet and spinning them both before setting her down and letting his lips crash into hers with a passion born not of desperation but of pure joy and excitement.

When they parted, she wasn’t entirely sure how to respond. “You’re happy?” She finally asked. It seemed perfectly obvious that this was the case and yet she had to ask. The answer she received was another kiss and the reassurance she so greatly craved. “Ecstatic, Kali, my love.” He assured, eyes still glowing. “We’re going to have a family. The greatest gift you could ever give me.” He tilted her chin up to make her meet his eyes fully. “I love you, Kali. Always have and always will. This is wonderful news and you couldn’t have made me any happier.”

This time the tears that fell were ones of relief and joy. Yes, joy. Of all the scenarios she had pictured, this wasn’t really one of them, but she was eternally grateful for it nonetheless. “I love you, Ryan.” The words were soft but heartfelt. “Always.”