Dear Future Self

Dear Future Self,

           I know I didn’t always make the right life choices, but that’s in the past and the past cannot be changed no matter how hard I wish for it.

I wasn’t the most responsible, I spent money I did not have, I loaned money to people who I knew weren’t going to pay me back. I bought beer for underage kids, and I didn’t care what happened.

 I took partying to the very limits, drinking all I can every weekend. Challenged others to drinking contests until we passed out.

I ignored what was the most important…my family. Not attending family functions, not having any money left to buy birthday or Christmas presents for mom, dad, or sister. Not being there for my sister when she was terribly sick.

I wasn’t always the most upstanding citizen, I got in trouble with the law, and I thought I was cool, and I would shoot my mouth off to the police officer and end up going to jail.

I bullied and played jokes on the most vulnerable people and laughed about it.

I’m guessing all these things are why I am in the position I am now in life…stuck. Stuck without happiness or having any of the things that most people have begun achieving at my age…late twenties. Am I being punished for my prior bad actions? Does karma play a roll in life? Some believe in that sort of thing, I never used to…until now.

So, future self, today, I acknowledge my past person which I cannot change, but can learn from. Yesterday was my wake-up call. I saw a situation unfold right in front of me. There was a hold-up at the local liquor, which I had just been in five minutes before. A young man in his early twenties robbed the liquor store at gunpoint, in the meantime someone called the police who were waiting outside surrounding the storefront. The police tried to negotiate a peaceful settlement to the situation, but the robber wasn’t having any part of it and remained inside the store. The man was rattled and becoming unhinged with every minute that past. He came outside holding a gun to another man’s head, also in his early twenties, hoping to get away I suppose. I began to realize here were two men, one making bad choices and the other was just minding his own business and dragged into the situation. One man will go to jail and the other will go to therapy. Two men…one good and one bad, both had their lives changed in a moment of bad choices.

 I pledge to change for the good and overcome my prior self and make a promising future for myself.

So, what do I want for my future self? A job. I want a job that I am going to enjoy, a job that I will be good at, enjoy, and a job that will make me successful within the industry as well as financially secure.

What kind of job will this be? I am not sure, but I promise to be diligent, loyal, and respectful, and focused. I will be carefully selective in my choice, learn, and become educated in that field so I can be the best self I can be.

Future self, I want you to know that when I say I want us to be financially secure, I do not mean to sound greedy or anything like that, by financially secure I mean, I want us to be comfortable, I want us not to struggle for the things we need and I want to be able to acquire and do things we may want…to have fun, to destress, to entertain. By financially secure I also mean to be able to build a savings for retirement years.

Another goal I would like to put on my list future self is a beautiful home. I know that is a big ask, but it’s still a goal. It would be nice to be so successful in my future that I was able to buy a home of my very own. A house with land surrounding it, a yard to hang and entertain in, having a pool would be cool for the summer months. A garage or shed I can use for my hobby of woodworking. I enjoy making things from wood whether it is plaques, hanging baskets for plants, bookshelves, and more. I can create things for myself and for others to make them smile.

Which leads me into what I want in my home…family. I would love to have a family. A wife I adore and who loves me, kids running around. A family who would rely on me to take care of them, provide for them, love them, make them laugh with my dumb daddy jokes. A family who I can teach all about life, how to fix things, how to build with wood. A family I can take to the movies, teach them bowling, and discipline them when they need it so they can grow up into strong, loving, educated adults. A family is priceless. I realize this now.

Future self, I know this seems like a long and unattainable list but let me reassure you by saying I know I can do it. I am growing, am learning to overcome my past mistakes, and I am dreaming of a future. A positive future, one I could be proud of and proud to pass it along to my children (if I am blessed) as well as to others.

Something else I would like to do, if the opportunity presented itself, I would also like to become a counselor or mentor and pass along what I have experienced and what I have become so that I could help others. People need to know that they are not alone, there are many people who are like me and if I can help them out of their situation, which would make me happy knowing I helped make someone’s life better.

So, future self, I begin traveling on this road…the good road. It doesn’t matter when I started, the important thing is that I have. It’s not going to be easy…I know this…life is full of curve balls and rollercoasters, and I am proud to be experiencing the journey of life.

Love,

Me